Bookman's Successor
by wrymon
Summary: This was where he always found himself unable to finish his sentences without bias ... when he found himself at the point where he had to record details pertaining to him. Pertaining to Allen Walker.
1. Regret

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I'm not exactly sure what brought this fan fiction on - so I don't have any witty comments to add explaining why and where all of this came from. When it's complete, I may have a few more to follow suit to it ... nine times out of ten I will, because I enjoy writing very much and get inspired extremely easy. D. Gray-Man used to be a series that I just couldn't see any pairings in at all. _Then_ I found an article about Lavi/Allen, and I fell in love with the two together. Not to mention how totally cannon they are (even if you don't agree - I really don't care). It was a piece showing off evidence of the pairing, many things I had never even noticed until they had been pointed out - and I've read what's out of that series many, many, times. So yeah, I am a total Lavi/Allen shipper - and to be honest when you stop and think ... it's a pairing that even the great Katsura Hoshino seems to support; even if it is implied mildly. (At least I so see it that way ... and a lot of other people actually.) After that, I found I loved a lot of other pairings as well. SO. I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

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**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter One_** - _Regret_****  
**

_' Upon the confrontation of the Level Four, Allen Walker ... '  
_

The scratch of a pen across parchment ceased, it's ink dripping softly at the end of the unfinished line of words. It's tip hovered, almost daring the hand holding it to continue the report who's due date was dangerously close. It remained still, a large emerald eye searching the words that it had read and re-read nearly twenty times. This was where he always found himself unable to finish his sentences without bias ... when he found himself at the point where he had to record details pertaining to him.

Pertaining to Allen Walker.

Lavi found himself sighing, slumping back in the wooden chair which he'd been sitting in for nearly three hours. He always did this. He always lost himself in his work, completely ignoring the passing of time, not to mention the strain on his back. It was aching - if only a bit - from his poor posture as he'd hovered over the large stack of papers littering his desk. The pen which had once been idling above a name fell with a soft clatter, rolling softly before stopping against a large black book. The exorcist's hand flexed - cramped from writing nonstop - before shifting upwards to push through his unruly rusty orange hair. Before he'd even began the, decorative, cloth that usually held his hair from his eyes had been pulled down, and left to hang unevenly against his neck.

How long had he been like this towards Allen?

A groan escaped, the boy's hand slipping to cover his eyes gingerly in annoyance. How long had he been like _**what**_ towards Allen. Hell - he didn't even know what he was thinking over anymore.

No. He knew exactly what he was thinking over - he was just denying it with vigor.

_Grrrawwwllllrrrrr._

The groan of his stomach caused a small grin to forced itself across the boy's lips, yanking him from his moment of self frustration. He'd clearly lost track of time more than normal. Generally he stopped before he got hungry, he didn't eat much but when he was hungry it was rather annoying. ... At least the sounds his stomach made were, anyway.

The cluttered room remained silent for a moment, the exorcist's good eye shifting across the parchment he'd been writing on for the last time. His attention focused on the last two words that had been written before he'd trailed off. A sense of confusion then followed, forcing his visible eyebrow to furrow in agitation. Lavi had a tendency to over think things, and analyze them from various sides without a thought of how long it took. Generally he was fast at this, and could pull off multiple analysis' within the matter of a few moments. However with this particular subject - he had a tendency to overlook things out of pure desperation and take his time in doing so.

He had to avoid the obvious outcome no matter what. It wasn't an allowed outcome - but it was an outcome that he could never honestly deny.

Ugh. He confused himself so much lately.

**_Grrrawwwllllrrrrr._**

Lavi leaped up onto the balls of his feet, stretching thoroughly as a yawn crept up and escaped his throat. The noise coming from his stomach was getting on his nerves, and as such his mind was set on stopping the constant whining as soon as possible. He would finish the report later, after he'd eaten. Panda could wait at least that long. He was sure that he'd be beaten senseless for something wrong anyway - so getting the report in on time wasn't something on the top of his priority list.

Turning on his heel Lavi closed the door to his room, hands folding to rest on his neck behind his head in a relaxed fashion. That was when the severity of the ache in his back finally hit home. A small spasm rushed up his spine, calling forth a sharp curse from his lips. He turned his neck sharply one way, shoulders turning in the opposite direction in an attempt to correct the problem. A small snap echoed, followed by a louder one farther down his spinal column. Nope, that still hadn't fixed his problem. Apparently a muscle in his lower back was cramped or pulled - he had a feeling it was the first. This was not what he needed. On top of the strain of recent dealings with the Noah and Earl, along with his Bookman training and this annoying problem he'd long developed having to do with one of his younger nakama - a sore back added to the mix meant a rather stressed Bookman-to-be.

"Lavi-kun!"

The male's head jerked about softly at a soft feminine voice. Linali Lee had been among the first of the exorcists found by the Black Order, and by far was considered the beauty of the Order. This was something that her elder brother, Komui, would let no one criticize and at the same time allow no one to act on and court the seventeen-year-old girl. Linali was a rather cheerful girl, who was more often than not found smiling, who tended to worry too much over others. When one was allowed into her heart - that was where they would remain for all eternity. She lived for her world, and in turn her world consisted of her older brother and friends. She would put her own life on the line in a heartbeat - despite noticeable fear - in order to protect those she cared for. Lavi had always found the girl interesting, however her tendency to get over-emotional and her small streak of slow thinking had always secretly gotten on his nerves. Honestly when he'd first seen her, covered in injuries and crying over a casket - he hadn't liked her at all. All he'd seen then was an over-emotional girl, who failed to realize that some things had to come before others.

Actually, she hadn't changed **that** much - but he'd grown to understand her reasoning, thus he'd grown rather close to the girl. Lavi grinned, nodding to her as she joined his stride to his left. "Ah Linali ..."

She returned his smile, hands folding behind her back. "I haven't seen you since early this morning, Allen-kun and I were wondering if Onii-chan had sent you off on a mission by yourself!"

"No, I've just been working on writing up reports for that old, Panda, geezer."

"Ah, I see." She chuckled, falling into silence as they walked on towards the cafeteria.

The Bookman-to-be took note of the changes in the girl - she'd once had long black hair - and now it was a short bob. It had at one point been barely there, and cut boyishly short. It wasn't something that had happened by choice - more of something that had happened in battle. Sacrifices in battle were normal, and thus he'd never put much thought into over exaggerating the loss of the girl's hair. Her older brother, however, had mourned deeply for weeks; and likewise celebrated when it had began to grow again. Other, minute, changes were evident in the girl. Changes he was sure only he or Bookman could notice. She'd gotten edgier - jumpier than normal. Linali could often be found on guard more often than not now - something that wasn't as common before Allen's 'death', the battle with the Noah inside the ark, and the battle against the Level Four. Both battles in which all involved had barely escaped, and had done so with dire injuries - himself included. His brows furrowed then, functioning eye dropping to observe his companion's legs. He remembered when they'd pained her greatly - not to mention the exhaustion that had taken her over when she'd recieved her new crystal type Innocence. Well ... it wasn't a new one - more of an upgrade on her old Dark Boots, to state it correctly.

"Linali, do your legs bother you anymore?"

She looked over, taken off guard at the question. She blinked a moment, as if thinking her response over. "They hurt a bit now and then, but all in all they're fine."

"What about exhaustion? Are you used to your Innocence fully yet?"

She smiled, "No, I don't get tired anymore. Really."

The redhead nodded, turning in unison with the girl before reaching out to kick open the cafeteria doors. "Don't strain yourself, ne?"

"I'm fine, honestly, everyone is worrying over nothing." Her tone hid a slight annoyance, hand waving as her opposite one caught the closing door. "I'll see you later though, I'm going to check and see if Onii-chan needs anything."

"Ah!" Was her cheerful reply as Lavi waved without turning, eyes already locked on his target - Jerry's window.

Lavi took no time placing his order - yakiniku. It was his favorite, and was something he hadn't had in quite a while - at least a month or more. He turned, eyes searching the room for a well-known face. A coy smile crept up across his lips - he'd found three people to annoy today. Hitching his arms behind his head once more the redhead headed forward, eyes set on three males sitting in a close proximity. Two of them - he knew for a fact - weren't enjoying the experience. The other, however, was watching the silent battle going on between the two with uncertainty - completely forgetting the meal sitting in front of him on the table.

"Move, Moyashi."

"Allen, Ba-Kanda! And, I sat here with Krory-san first!"

"A-Allen-kun, really we can move ..."

It was all Lavi could do to hold in his laughter as he approached the trio. Kanda Yuu was the first he'd noticed - mostly because he was the only male with hair that beat Linali's in length. Well, that and the annoyance radiating off of him could be seen all the way from Ireland. Kanda was - like Linali - among one of the first exorcists present in the Black Order. He and Linali had known each other since they were young - and even then he had been a royal pain in the ass. He was by far the most unsociable person Lavi had ever met in his life - and he'd met many people. He'd also known Kanda nearly as long as Linali, key word, _nearly_. He'd sparred with him many times - all of them times when he'd had to coax the man into it by annoyance - and had not once been able to beat him when it came to weapons. However, if it were bare handed Lavi was sure he could take the Japanese swordsman in a heartbeat.

Arystar Krory was the next exorcist he'd noticed. The Romanian baron wasn't someone that you couldn't notice. He towered over most in the Order and his unusual hairstyle gave even Allen's hair a run for it's money. Krory was a shy man by nature, having grown up alone in a castle for most of his life. His only companion, other than his deceased Grandfather, had been a woman known as Eliade - one who had turned out to be an Akuma and he had been forced through fatal injuries to kill. It wasn't something anyone talked about easily, merely because the baron had been in love with the woman. Lavi avoided the subject at all costs - as did everyone else - he was one to poke fun, but he wasn't cruel. Krory was one of the newest exorcists - one of which he and Allen had recruited when he'd been mistaken as a vampire in a small village. Not that recruiting was what the people in the village had wanted them to do.

Lastly was Allen Walker. The youngest exorcist in the Order to ever reach Critical Point. The young British gentleman was kind, and overly naive. Both traits that Lavi had been unable to understand fully when he'd first met the boy. Allen had lost his way - and Lavi had found it in his coyly, wry, nature to set the boy straight. He'd succeeded, and since then Allen had become Lavi's closest nakama besides Bookman himself. Allen's strange sense of justice - and almost inability to see the wrong in anyone - had been things that kept Lavi in constant interest. Just when he thought he couldn't see Allen do something stupider - he was proven wrong. No - stupid wasn't the word to use for Allen. Allen was far from stupid - he could be ruthless and was easily agitated - but he wasn't stupid. Allen was ... Well, to be honest, he just cared too damn much for nearly **everyone**. That was what awed Lavi without words.

"Honestly Kro-chan, once those two get started they won't stop until they've killed each other or you've drug them apart like a pair of brawling dogs."

Lavi's voice held mockery, eye glimmering with mischievousness as he sank into a sit beside the baron. Apparently Kanda had sat down at the table beside Allen, and Krory - without knowing it - and was now demanding that the two move. Kanda was a ruthless, reliable, fighter ... take Akuma and Noah out of the picture though and he wasn't exactly the smartest. Not that he would ever admit it - though Allen enjoyed pointing it out constantly in their arguments.

Allen's eyes darted, a large smile appearing at the redheaded exorcist. "Lavi! Linali and I had thought you were sent out on a mission." He'd clearly blocked out all that had happened thus far.

"Great, the Usagi decided to show up and I'd had the fleeting hope you'd been shipped off." Kanda - naturally mocking and showing his disgust at more company. _**Naturally**_.

"Now, now Yuu - no need to worry about me all that much!" A grin filled Lavi's face once more, arm tossing itself across the swordsman on his left. He'd had to lean across a gap in the tables to do it - but annoying Kanda wasn't something he would miss out on for all the yakiniku in the world.

"Get off!" Kanda snapped, nearly dropping his chopsticks in the process of throwing the redhead off.

With a laugh Lavi turned his attention to the white headed boy sitting in front of him. "Nah, I was just writing reports for Jijii."

Allen smiled, nodding softly at the response he'd gained. "That's good news - Linali was ready to yell at her brother for sending you out alone."

"Komui-san should have a bit more credit than that, Allen-kun." Krory stated softly, returning his attention back to the baked chicken and dumplings upon his plate.

Lavi's food was brought out then, and placed down in front of him. Lavi grinned at Krory's statement before picking up a piece of the grilled meat with his fingers and popping it into his mouth.

Apparently Kanda was unable to handle much more of the three's company. As soon as he'd finished his noodles he stood, grasping his bowl and headed off with a huff. "Honestly, I can't eat in peace no matter ..." His words had been lost on the air as he'd walked off, and left unfinished.

Allen had glared after the male, biting into the third sandwich which was present on his plate. Krory had watched the man leave, eyes showing slight sadness. And Lavi - Lavi had just grinned whilst chewing a piece of pork.

"Lavi! Chew with your mouth _**closed**_!"

Lavi glowered, opening his mouth even wider and chewing rougher.

Allen's response was to glare, before once again reprimanding the boy. "Honestly, Lavi!"

With a laugh Lavi waved the remark off before turning his attention once more to his food. He was done annoying the boy ... for now at least. He loved bothering his nakama, but he loved bothering Allen the most. His brows pressed together in thought once more - the same things he'd been trying to leave in his room were resurfacing. He knew exactly what was going on - and he knew exactly what was not allowed for many reasons. Honestly - sometimes he just pissed himself off more than others. All he'd done was caused himself a mess of problems - and ones that wouldn't be going away any time soon. Another piece of meat was lifted, popped into his mouth and he started chewing. For the first time he remained speechless, head turned to look about the large commons room in an attempt to forget the things rushing through his mind. He was doing it again - trying to ignore the obvious out of desperation.

"Lavi ... are you alright? You look like something is bothering you ... "

Lavi's eyes jerked up, catching the younger boy's gray ones a moment. He grinned, "Ah I'm fine, Allen."

Krory looked over, adding softly "How are your injuries, Lavi-kun?"

"Boy, you two worry as much as women. I'm fine." His voice held a mild whine, back straightening before falling back to lean against his chair. He once again, popped a piece of pork in his mouth.

Silence passed, and Krory shifted uneasily in his chair. Finally the baron cleared his throat and rose, "I'm afraid I have to leave now ... I'll speak with you again Allen-kun, Lavi-kun." Without a word more the Romanian turned and parted from the two. He left in a rush - almost as if he wanted to escape a very uncomfortable situation. Like he wanted to escape a quarelling couple in a market.

Once more the two exorcists were left to eat in silence.

"Oi, Allen. You doing alright?"

"Yes."

Lavi jerked slightly, eyes growing a moment at the roughness of the boy's voice. If he'd been a dog it was sure that his ears would've been perked in alarm. Something wasn't right ... something wasn't right at all. "Oi ... Allen ..." The redhead reached out, knocking on the sixteen-year-old's head softly to gain his attention.

Allen's eyes shot up in slight agitation, something Lavi reacted to by grinning. He'd pissed the younger boy off, apparently.

"We were just asking out of concern, Lavi. Not to annoy the hell out of you."

Lavi's tongue shot out, head landing in his hand softly. "You take things to heart too much, Allen. And, Kro-chan knew I was kidding."

"And you're a pain in the ass, stupid Usagi."

At this Lavi, leaned his head back laughing heartily. That - to him - was a praise. It showed he'd succeeded in annoying the hell out of someone he cared about. The only problem with Allen telling him that was ...

**BAM.**

"What the _fuck_, Panda?!"

Lavi was leaning over, hands clinging to his head which had just been knocked by the Bookman's fist. Allen, on the other hand was nearly choking in laughter.

"You screwed up on that last report, and you new one is late. Must you continue to be utterly useless!"

A growl escaped the Bookman-to-be's lips as his eyes shot up, locking with a pair of agitated black ones. "Well excuse me for not being able to read your damn mind!"

Bookman was an elderly man - someone Lavi (though he would never admit it easily) looked up to. He'd been taken in by the Bookmen when he was a child and raised up by the old man as his successor. He'd came here with Lavi in tow for the sole purpose of recording the history of the war being raged between the Black Order, the Earl, the Noah and the Akuma. That was what the Bookmen did - record history without showing partiality. Lavi had seen and learned many things - and never seemed to fail to remind the current Bookman that he'd be taking over. And despite all of the snide comments, and almost un-respectful names that Lavi gave - his love of the old man was evident. Like with all others he cared for - he showed it by teasing, and his laughter. Bookman was by far the one person he teased and taunted more than even Allen Walker. And with recent events - that was saying a great deal.

"Hurry up and finish that report you useless boy." Bookman gave the boy another good wack before folding his hands within the sleeves of his coat and turning to walk off. "Don't screw it up this time!"

"I'll finish the damn thing when I finish it, damn Panda-faced old geezer ... " Lavi's voice drifted off, eyes narrowed at the fleeting back of the older man.

Allen had watched in silence, smiling softly at the interaction between the two. When he saw Lavi and Bookman together - nostalgia hit him, and he was reminded of his days with Mana. Bookman didn't look like Mana, but like Bookman had with Lavi - Mana had taken in Allen, and never ceased to show him affection. Bookman didn't show his affection to the world - but it was obvious that it was there. Without Mana, Allen wouldn't be who he was today - and he was sure that was how it was with Lavi and Bookman.

"I'll screw it up this time, just to piss you off ... " Lavi glared at his unfinished food before standing, one hand still rubbing his head."Are you done eating, Allen? If not I'll speak with you later."

Allen rose as well, a barren tray in his right hand. "No I'm done, I'll head back with you."

"Ah." Annoyance was still laced in the eighteen-year-old's words, however it was fading fast. He wasn't easilly angered - and he never was one to hold much of a grudge. Not when he had the chance to get even anyway.

The two headed for the drop-off window, placing their trays on the slowly moving belt. Allen exited the room first, holding the door for the man behind him. Lavi followed, hands folding behind his neck with a sigh. By now he'd forgotten about the smack that he'd received - more or less thanks to a currently in the works revenge scheme. At the thought, Allen chuckled. Lavi was entertaining - there was never a dull moment with the exorcist.

Silence passed between the two as they walked, both simply reveling in the others company. That's how it was for Lavi and Allen. Neither had to talk - just the fact they were in the others company was enough. Both considered the other closest in the Order - you wouldn't find one without the other being too far behind. Allen sighed, looking over to the redhead a moment. He was done plotting - the Bookman-to-be's face was calm and he was walking with his eyes closed.

"Allen, have you had to deal with the Vatican anymore?"

"Unfortunately." Pure hate welled in his voice. Allen hated the Vatican. He hated having to report everything he did with the ark - though he hated that thing far more - and he hated how they attempted to drag Mana's name through the dirt. He hated how they went on about him being the Fourteenth. It was all so damn _**tiring**_.

"Today?"

"No, I spoke with them before I had lunch. I didn't enjoy it, however, I'm very thankful that I don't have to deal with them any further today."

Lavi chuckled, eyes closing once more as the two took a turn. "They really are annoying ... Even Jijii doesn't like the group much. He deals with them though, like Komui, and you." Shivering the redhead tilted his head. "I couldn't fake all that polite crap - I'd end up cursing them out in about five different languages and ruining all ties with the church."

Allen smiled, looking to the other sideways. "And that is precisely why **you** aren't - nor ever will be - in a diplomatic position."

"I'll be Bookman soon enough, thank you very much." Lavi glared.

"May God help us all when you succeed." Allen chuckled.

"Remind me to write down what an annoying ass you are in extreme detail, Allen."

"Only if you remind me to _never_ allow you to attempt diplomacy without me in the room to shut you up when you put your foot in your mouth."

Lavi whined, lower lip poking out softly before he draped himself across Allen's shoulders. "I'm not as bad as Yuu, you know."

Allen's brow arched, a smile crossing his lips once more. Sadly, Lavi had a point. "Touche."

Lavi grinned, pushing the slighter boy in play softly. He remained tossed across Allen's left shoulder, relaxed as they continued down the corridor. His mind was thinking too much - thinking far too much about that strange, and totally unacceptable thing that caused his Bookman bias to blur. It was something he'd been thinking over for months, and each time had come to the same conclusion. A conclusion he couldn't allow himself to accept ... but then ...

"Lavi!" Allen's voice was a small snap in protest to the peck on the cheek he'd received."Did you even see if anyone was around?!"

Lavi sighed, a small smile falling over his muddled features. Through all the over analyzing , and detail oversights - he still knew what he knew. He was in love with Allen Walker. Allen Walker was another male, and was his nakama. Allen Walker, who was another male, returned his affections. And he didn't give two shits about any of that - no matter how many times he told himself to forget it. No matter how many times he told himself what was at stake.

Because he loved Allen Walker, who was also a male and also returned his affections, they had to keep it a secret from everyone else. **And that was the only thing he gave a shit about.**

That was the only thing in this whole ordeal that Lavi regretted. He regretted not being able to share how much he cared for his companion. He didn't regret how others, or the church, would react to a homosexual relationship. He didn't regret that nine times out of ten he would never succeed the old man as Bookman. He didn't regret the fact that he - Lavi - loved Allen; and that was one thing he never would regret.

He did however regret he wasn't allowed to show his affection in public. He regretted he wasn't allowed to show his happiness in public beyond what was considered brotherly affection. He regretted the strain and added stress that he'd thrown on Allen three months ago when he'd confessed himself to the white headed boy.

"Oi, Allen ... "

"I'm not ready to forgive you yet, what you did there was far too risky to do in the halls."

"Do you regret me telling you what I did a few months ago?"

Lavi was nearly thrown down when the shorter male stopped suddenly, and had to jump twice on his right foot and turn to regain his balance. His emerald eyes spun, catching those of a wide gray. Allen was staring at him - in utter disbelief.

"Lavi, do you regret telling me what you did?"

"No, that's not what I meant Allen. I mean- ..."

"Then, Lavi, don't ever ask me that again. I don't, and never shall, regret you telling me what you did. Nor do, or ever will, I regret feeling for you the way that I do."

Lavi stared, mouth set in a soft line. His visible eye was large, and slightly taken off guard. It dropped to the floor, looking slightly to the left finally. "I'm sorry about the whole secret thing too ..."

"It's something we both agreed was necessary for the time being - you have nothing to apologize for. So, please, do not."

Despite himself Lavi found himself laughing, "Allen you talk so damn _proper_."

Allen's brow twitched. "Is that a problem, Lavi?"

The redheaded exorcist failed to restrain a laugh, reaching to grab the younger boy's left hand abruptly. "No, not at all."

Instantly Allen tensed, almost as if to jerk the Anti-Akuma weapon back. He froze, watching as the misshapen extremity was lifted, un-gloved, and placed against the lips of the other gently. It was caressed softly, from the tip of his index finger until the redhead's lips paused to hover above the cross embedded within his skin. A soft blush crept up, filling the sixteen-year-old's cheeks at the soft kiss that was placed directly in the center of the terrifying embellishment.

"Allen, are you busy?" Lavi's eyes lifted to catch his partner's in a lock. A small, soft, smile played as his crooked lips.

The flush remained, slightly faded, on Allen's cheeks. "No, not at the moment." His voice came out softer than normal.

"Mind giving me a bit of company then?"

Lavi reacted without a response - he didn't need a response. He laced his fingers with the boy's hand in his grasp before tugging him softly forward down the corridor. After a few moments he was pulled inside the Bookman-to-be's room quickly before the door was closed in a rush, and lock turned. The redhead turned then, free hand slipping upwards to lock on the side of the younger exorcists neck. Lavi's lips pressed downward, catching Allen's softly.

The kiss was brief, delicate, as if a moment more would break the secret the two were keeping from the rest of the world. Lavi sank to a sit on his bed, pulling the slighter man with him and into his lap. Allen slipped into the crevice between the redhead's legs, leaning back against his chest with a contented sigh. Their hands remained twined, Lavi reaching for the unfinished report that was left on his desk. He pulled his knee up, pressing the paper and the book it was on against it before starting to scratch softly. "I won't annoy you, right?"

Allen took a deep breath, taking in the smell of the other man. It was a unique smell - the smell of parchment and sandalwood. The scratch of the pen sent a shiver down his spine. This was Lavi - his Lavi. "No, not at all."

Lavi pressed his lips against the slighter man's neck softly, clasped hand pulling Allen's with him as he wrapped it about the boy's waist. Allen on the other hand made himself more comfortable, snuggling into the chest of his partner before closing his eyes softly.

Silence went on with naught but the scratch of Lavi's pen filling the void. Allen's breathing changed, slipping into a tempo of slumber.

Lavi noticed this, pausing a moment to press his lips to the boy's temple.

No, he regretted nothing about this at all. **He was in love with Allen Walker - and that was all that mattered to him.

* * *

**

**Nakama** - group, circle of friends, partner, associate(s).

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Onii-chan** - older brother.

**Linali** - Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.


	2. Chance

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

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**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Two_** -_ Chance_****  
**

_"She's still trying to sort herself out - Ms. Lina is fully regretting leaving Allen's side last night."_

_Bookman's voice was a mere whisper as it told Miranda these words. His eyes were locked on the silent girl sitting in a blank stare a few feet away. "She's condemning herself."_

_Glass shattered, dragging everyone's attention the the redheaded exorcist standing near the window. Lavi had punched through one of the recently restored windows in annoyance, "Just cut it out already."_

_There was silence, the level of agitation in the boy's voice stinging the air. It was as if he were daring someone to speak against him - and no one was making any attempt to. Maybe that was what was pissing him off more._

_His lips curled into a snarl, "There was nothing we could have done ... we were all desperately fighting for our lives yesterday." His voice nearly shook, the tempo rising to a mock yell. The fist hovering near the broken window was shaking._

_**Why did it sound like he was trying to convince himself? **  
_

_"There was no way ... any of us could have helped him ..." Lavi's voice was rising once more - only a few notes away from an all out yell. Still no one moved - no one responded. His blood boiled more._

_"Damn it, this is a war! We had no choice!" His lips were pulled into a snarl, the full brunt of his self-frustration being aimed at Linali. "Get over it and stand up!"_

_Silence passed again, bringing forward tears from the shaken female exorcists. At the sight Lavi jumped back, eyes growing. No one spoke - no one said anything about the tears that had fallen from his own eyes. _

_No one but Panda - who reacted by nearly choking his 'grandson' and knocking him roughly over the head a few times. "Cool your head off, you fool!"  
_

_"Why Panda?! It's not like I said anything wrong- ..."_

_"Do you believe yourself to be God's apostle?!" The old man's words were a coarse - deadly - whisper. A tone that knocked Lavi into silent - awed - submission._

_"You are the successor of Bookman, and nothing else! Haven't I taught you to be nothing more than an onlooker, regardless of the situation?"_

_**As Bookman, you must place yourself within that, and record all matters, with fairness. You must not be affiliated with anything, nor be biased.  
In the hidden history there will be evidence of war, and because of that war, history will change.**_

_Lavi stared, eyes large at the old man's words. He had nothing to say - no snide remark, or comment to toss out. He was utterly speechless._

_"Don't be taken in by the war. We are only on the Order's side 'by chance', all for the sake of recording history."_

_**Don't forget your goal, Lavi.** _

_" ... I got it. Sorry, Panda ..." His voice shook, eyes locked on the ground. What was he doing? He knew better than this. Then, as if to agree, Bookman knocked the boy over the head once more._

_--  
_

Lavi jerked awake, emerald eye wide and forehead covered in sweat. For a moment he simply seemed to be, inhaling rapidly with his eyes locked on his closed door. Then it registered, and his eyes were sent into a frenzy to search about his room. First, he spotted the finished report that was tossed carelessly against his right side. Then, he spotted what he'd been searching for - the sleeping boy curled up in his lap. He released a breath he'd been unaware of holding.

Why was he thinking of things that happened so long ago again?

Lifting his left hand Lavi pressed it to the cheek of the sleeping boy - pulling a few strands of snow colored hair from the corner of his mouth. Peace seemed to take over once more, clearing the stuffy room of the nightmarish memories from before.

He'd been scared shitless then. It was then that he'd realized how much Allen meant to him - the moment that he and Linali had discovered blood in that empty bamboo forest. The moment he'd found that card - a memento he still kept with him at all times, even today. It was a reminder. A reminder of what he almost lost - of what he held dear - and of what he could lose again if he didn't prevent it. _And he would be preventing it this time even if he died in Allen's place._

Pulling his hand away, Lavi's head fell back with a soft thump against the wall. The words that Bookman had told him that day were ringing in his ears - mixing with his filled stomach to cause a wave of nausea. He knew all of that. He couldn't secede the old man like this - but he couldn't give up what had caused him to stray either. He was stuck at a cross road, unable to move in either direction out of pure selfish reason. That made him sick - That pissed him off. He hated not having an answer to something - he hated not knowing something. Yet here he was, stuck in a situation he had never been before and had never learned about. And all he could do was stare and conduct both paths as a shadow of the other. All he could do was hide what he and Allen shared, and continue the act of the unbiased Bookman-to-be. The only problem with this logic?

That wasn't fair to Allen.

That wasn't fair to Jijii.

_That wasn't fair to him_.

Before he had the chance to think more, Allen stirred, drawing the eighteen-year-old's attention away from his mind immediately. His good eye locked on the slowly waking boy, smiling softly.

Allen had rolled to the opposite side, still cradled in his partner's arms, and was stretching slightly. "Mmmhmmn." The small noise escaped his lips, followed by a yawn. He stretched once more, white hair matting here and there from the static of being rubbed against the other man's chest. His eyes opened then, gray orbs searching sleepily for the eccentric green one. He found it watching him with a large, crooked, grin. His voice still showed signs of sleep.

"Are you done yet, Lavi?"

Lavi chuckled, tempted to embrace the other male tightly. Allen was always so cute when he woke up - something he'd discovered before the two had even shown their affections. He would always wake the same, and Lavi would always watch his actions from his own bed in the many hotels when they were on missions. The older exorcist leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on the boy's forehead. "I've been done a while now, Allen."

At the action, a small smile had crept up into the face of the whitehead. His hand lifted, catching his partner around the crook of his neck and then pulled his lips closer to his own. The two remained this way for a few moments, the kiss longer than the one when they're first entered the Bookman-to-be's room. Despite this, it was still delicate - as if more would push their secret to it's breaking point. Neither would allow that.

_**We are only on the Order's side 'by chance' ...**_

Lavi's eyes opened, lips pulling away softly to break the kiss. Of all times for those words to annoy him - now was not one of the best. Lucky the annoyance was pushed back, kept from Allen's view.

At least he'd thought that.

"Lavi, are you al-..."

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Saved by Allen's monstrous appetite. Lavi mentally sighed, laughing at the animalistic sound that erupted from his companion's abdomen. "Hungry, Allen?"

A slight flush covered Allen's cheek - more out of embarrassment than anything more. He swallowed, glancing away, before adding sheepishly. "A bit ..."

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

"If you call that a bit, I'd hate to see you when you're starving." Lavi grinned.

Allen glowered, grabbing the Bookman's head scarf and yanking it upwards abruptly. He attempted to move, however was held in his position against Lavi's chest. "Release me at once."

"I'd rather not." Lavi's voice was muffled, for it was only after he'd answered that he pulled the scarf upwards and placed it in it's position as a headband to hold back his rusty orange hair. "And I doubt you can make me."

Allen's look darkened, "Don't tempt me to hurt you, Lavi. It won't be something I'll enjoy - but if I'm pressed to those measures, I will do it."

"Oh, I haven't tempted you to do anything at all for a while." The Bookman-to-be's voice had gained a husky innuendo, eyebrow wiggling at his coy play of words.

Allen responded with a faint blush, followed by a rough punch to the other exorcist's gut. That made the boy release him, and in a rush the white headed male was off of the bed and halfway to the door.

Lavi was keeled over, laughing despite the sharp pain in his stomach. "A-Allen, come back here." The mix of intense laughter, and abdominal pain was causing irregularity in his breathing. "You k-know, I was only k-kidding!"

"Get your ass up - it would look rather strange for me to be leaving _your_ room at this time." Allen's voice held a growl, arms crossing over his chest as his eyes locked on the clock to his left. It was exactly 9:04 PM.

No wonder he was starving.

Lavi was already up, head slipping to rest on his counterpart's left shoulder. His arms lowered, slipping around Allen's waist in an attempt to regain the boy's favor. Finally, his lips turned blowing softly against the others earlobe.

Allen shivered - if Lavi was trying to redirect his attention: it was working.

The Bookman's attention had be adverted, lips making a soft trail along the boy's jaw before returning to brush his ear. "Now - Weren't you hungry?"

Allen sighed, breathing in the man's scent once more. It was impossible for him to remain mad at Lavi for long - and sometimes that really agitated him. Especially when the male deserved it. "Yes."

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Lavi laughed, fingers twining with Allen's gingerly before, unlocking, and sticking his head out of the door. His eyes looked about, searching the corridor for anyone else. He found no one, so turned grasping Allen's lips roughly for a moment before pulling him out into the hallway.

The two parted instantly, hands releasing each other as if they'd caught something hot. Allen started walking first, leaving Lavi at the door of his room to watch after the boy. Lavi always let him walk ahead a few feet, looking about before following after him. Allen had never said anything about minding it ... but Lavi did.

He hated having to act as if he'd just walked from his room and Allen had just happened to have passed by.

Allen was glancing back, as if waiting to hear the familiar footsteps rush to catch up with him. He did so without turning - impatient. Was Lavi coming, or not? His voice shuttered, "Lavi?"

The male was already steps away from him, arm encircling the boy's shoulder. Brotherly love - that was all the rest of the world was allowed to see. "A bit late isn't it, Allen?"

Allen glowered, honestly did he always have to start up a random conversation like that? ... He already knew the answer to that. "I'm afraid I fell asleep and woke up hungry."

"Ah, I lost track of time myself ..."

The way the words left the redheaded exorcist's lips caused Allen to stare. He'd sounded happy - as if nostalgia had hit him - and as such Allen was forcing back the urge to press his lips to the boy's cheek.

Lavi stared on, green eye lighting up mischievously. "Oi, Yuu!" He spat the name out in his usual toying sing-song, pulling away from Allen slowly to wave at the swordsman.

He was, naturally, ignored with an agitated air as the long haired man turned a corner - heading for the science department head's office. Komui had a mission to give him apparently.

Allen was glaring after the man. "He's so damn rude."

"That's just how Yuu is - you should know that by now, Allen." Lavi spoke with a laugh, hands folding behind his head.

Allen sighed - he knew that better than anyone. "I wonder if Linali is going with him?"

Lavi responded with a shrug, reaching out to grab the cafeteria door and hold it open. He allowed Allen to go in first, looking about before entering. He wasn't exactly hungry - but he wasn't about to give up spending time with Allen because of that.

Entering he noted that Allen had already wandered over to Jerry's window, and he was left to linger near the entrance. Something had caught his attention. Well, more precisely some people had caught his attention. Arystar Krory and Miranda Lotto were huddled together in a corner, speaking softly with each other over their food.

Miranda Lotto was also one of the newer exorcists and had been found in a small - literally - rewinding town by Allen and Linali. She had been the only one unaffected by her grandfather clock's Innocence and as such was reliving the same day for weeks. She was a clumsy - yet lovely - woman, very unsure of herself and constantly worrying over doing the wrong thing. Before coming to the Order she hadn't accomplished much in her life, and had been fired over 100 times from many different types of jobs. As such she and Krory had found each other's company comforting. Both were shy, and both were ill-experienced with the world, so naturally they'd became friends fast.

Lavi watched them, noticing a few things at once. He'd known the two had gotten rather close - however he had never noticed exactly how close they had gotten. When he'd observed them before he'd never noticed how they reacted to one another - now though, he was noticing a lot. Lavi's nose twitched, watching the clumsy woman laugh softly at something the baron had said. Something rattled in his gut - and he didn't like it.

Jealously was a pain in the ass.

He forced himself to look away, searching for Allen a moment. He found him wandering towards a table - equally looking for his partner. Lavi smiled before walking on, heading for the table the younger exorcist was nearing.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted anything ... Do you? If so I'll return and order it."

Lavi shook his head, sinking into a chair with a sigh. "I'm not very hungry, so don't worry about it Allen." His arms crossed, head falling to rest upon them as his eye closed.

Allen watched, sinking into a sit gingerly in front of the man. Concern was evident in his eyes, and pushed by this he reached out - pulling a piece of rusty hair from his partner's lips. "Lavi, are you alright?"

_**As Bookman, you must place yourself within that, and record all matters, with fairness. You must not be affiliated with anything, nor be biased.**_

"Lavi?"

Lavi looked up, knocked from his thoughts once more. He smiled softly, "Just thinking about some work ... "

Before Allen could respond, his food was delivered. There weren't many people in sight - obviously the cause of how fast his first order was here. Well, that or Jerry's knowledge of his monstrous appetite.

"I'll have everything else out shortly, Walllllkerrrr-saaannn!" With a smile the man turned, skipping back off to his kitchen.

"Thank you, Jerry-san!" Allen smiled, watching the man vanish into the kitchen with a wave. His attention turned then to the sandwich that had been placed in front of him. Instantly he grabbed it, tearing into it as if he hadn't eaten in days.

Lavi laughed, watching amused. Allen always acted like an emaciated dog when he ate - sometimes it made him feel bad for the boy. If he had an appetite like that, he'd just really get annoyed with it.

Allen broke into a cough, hitting his hand against his chest roughly.

Lavi had jumped up at once, hitting the boy in the back. "Slow down! Damn you'll end up choking yourself!"

Allen glared, cheeks slightly puffed outward with food. He chewed, swallowing roughly before taking a sip of water. Then, once more he tore into the sandwich - taking his time this time however.

Lavi sighed, sinking back into a sit before leaning back in his chair. "Jeeze, Allen." His hand lifted, pushing the headband up a bit farther. "One day you're going to choke, and don't expect me to give you mouth to mouth."

"Lavi!" Allen nearly choked again, eyes larger than normal as they searched about. He noticed only Krory and Miranda in the room - and they were far enough away that they were paying no attention to the two men.

Lavi grinned, winking playfully before pulling the band around his hair down to cover his eyes. He was tired - which was ironic because he'd slept about two hours after he'd finished that report. He took a deep breath, remaining silent for the moment whilst listening to the slighter boy eat. Maybe he'd call it a night ...

"Allen-kun!"

Linali came rushing in, searching about before spotting the two at their secluded table. Her voice had caught the attention of both Krory and Miranda, who watched the girl walk over to the two's table with mock interest.

Allen swallowed hard, "Is something wrong, Linali?"

She smile, head shaking softly. "Onii-chan wants to see you, so please after you're done come see him. Okay?"

These words caught Lavi's attention, forcing him to peek out from beneath his headband. "Mission?"

Linali turned to face the redheaded exorcist, slightly surprised. Apparently she'd thought he was asleep. "I think so ... Kanda-kun was summoned as well, earlier."

Lavi nodded, eye vanishing beneath his headband once more. Linali smiled softly before turning her attention back to Allen.

"I'll be sure to stop by Linali, thank you." The British gentleman smiled politely.

"Thank you." With a nod of her head the female exorcist turned on her heel and headed for the exit. She took a moment to wave to Miranda and Krory as they were leaving to go, before vanishing behind the closing door.

Allen groaned, finishing off his sandwich accordingly after the girl was gone. "Kanda, and I on a mission together ... my day is just getting worse ... "

Lavi, silently, agreed. He didn't like the idea of Allen going off with only Kanda - especially with how tight things had been lately. They were both capable fighters - and Allen had reached Critical Point - but still ...

If he wasn't an old man by the age of twenty - he'd be lucky - because all this damn stress was enough to kill a mule.

"Allen, I think I'm going to call it a night. I'll speak with you later." He rose, pushing the cloth down to hang around his neck.

Allen stared, swallowing briefly. "Alright, goodnight, Lavi ... " His eyes told the real story - he didn't want him to go.

Lavi grinned, ruffling the boy's hair. Brotherly affection - he had to remind himself of that. "Good luck with Komui." Without another word he turned, heading in a rush for the door.

--

Something warm was snuggling up to his side - not a bad thing to wake up to, at least if you awoke knowing exactly _what_ it was that was doing the snuggling. That was what he wanted to know, even if he did have a good idea.

Lavi fumbled a moment, eye blinking slightly at the darkness that engulfed his room. What time was it? He muffled a yawn, "Oi, What time is it?"

"It's not even 6 AM yet." Allen responded with a yawn; whether it was a reaction due to the one that his partner has let loose - or if he was equally as tired was unknown.

Lavi groaned, if there was anything that was even close to being a match for Allen's appetite - it was his need for sleep. "And you're waking me up at this time, why?"

"I have to leave soon - so I wanted to tell you goodbye." It was all the sixteen-year-old could do to hold in his laughter on his counterpart's expense.

At this news Lavi whined, hands seeking out the boy's waist before pulling him close. He didn't mind that he was awake so much now - his lips searched, finding Allen's before pressing against them roughly.

Being separated due to missions was something he was used to - but it wasn't something he liked at all.

The two broke off for air a moment, silence filling the room. Lavi pressed his cheek to Allen's forehead, pulling him closer. "What time you leaving?"

For once Allen sighed, "I'm to meet Kanda at precisely 6 in Komui-san's office ... 30 minutes at most." The white headed boy coiled into a ball, boots roughing up the covers. He was already in his uniform - the less he had to deal with before leaving, the better. Now he could focus on simply enjoying the last few minutes he had with the redhead. If there was one thing the two agreed on wholeheartedly - it was one leaving on a mission without the other.

It was unnerving - not knowing if they'd come back unharmed ... If they'd even come back at all.

"I'm sure you're all too thrilled about that one." Lavi's voice was laced with sleep - he was exhausted - but he wasn't allowed to sleep until Allen left. He would not tolerate missing out on telling him goodbye, again.

Allen responded with a soft growl, something the Bookman-to-be knew could only be accompanied by a fierce eye roll. Something he sourly regretted missing. Allen was cute when he was mad - which was another reason he enjoyed taunting the boy so much. Well, that and the fact it was the only other way he could show his care in _public_. Thankfully those antics were taken as normal behavior for Lavi. "Where am I losing you to?"

"Berlin, to collect Innocence. We should be returning in no less than three days."

"Ah ... " Lavi muttered sleepily, he was having a rough time staying awake.

Allen smiled to himself, gray eyes locked on his partner in the darkened room. Parts of him were regretting bothering the man's sleep. He pushed upwards, scooting until he caught a whiff of Lavi's morning breath. His nose twitched at the smell, head turning to tuck itself into the crook of the redhead's neck. His arm slipped around, edging the half-sleeping male closer. "Lavi, have you gotten much sleep lately? You seemed stressed yesterday ..."

Silence passed a moment.

Allen jerked slightly when his nose was touched with a kiss, almost as if the man his arms were wrapped around was attempting to reassure him. It was something Lavi often did. The two didn't need words - they knew. A small smile stretched across the sixteen-year-old's lips, head dipping to press them to his partner's jugular. "Please try to stay out of trouble while I'm away."

"Why make a promise I won't be able to keep? You know me better than that, eh?" Lavi's voice held more sleep now than before. He was getting far too comfortable in his partner's warmth.

Allen noticed this, and equally made a note of it. His lips lifted, teeth grasping onto the other male's lobe in a soft nip.

This woke him up.

Lavi jerked, good eye flying open with a gruff response. "Allen ... " His earlobe was nipped again. " ... Keep that up and you won't be leaving on time." His voice had gained a huskier sheen.

Allen chuckled, lips gracing Lavi's jawline skittishly. "I won't tolerate being late, Usagi."

Lavi whined at the kiss placed beneath his chin, "Now you're just being unfair." He'd received a soft nip farther down his neckline, sending a shiver down his spine. "_Allen_ ..."

Allen chuckled, voice holding naught but innocence. "I have to leave in about fifteen minutes Lavi - behave." He was referring to the pair of hands that had slipped dangerously low on his back, and pair of wandering lips searching their way up his neckline. Apparently they'd found what they were looking for, and as such pressed themselves against the slighter male's roughly. Allen returned the kiss, hand slipping to pull Lavi's back up to a reasonable level.

Lavi growled - he was having none of that. He caught the gloved hands in his own, rolling and pinning the slighter boy beneath him playfully. Allen - unfortunately - wasn't allowed to complain. His lips were still being attacked savagely.

"Lavi!" Allen's voice was slightly higher-pitched, breathier than normal when the two parted for air. Lavi had already started tugging at the collar surrounding his partner's neck, "Lavi! _Behave!_" Allen was scolding him now.

The redhead stopped at once, whimpering in defeat before rolling off to return to his first place on the bed. "Wahh, Allen - so mean." His mouth was set in a hard pout.

Allen sighed, remaining still to allow his heart to catch up with the rest of his body. It was beating faster than normal, something he understood very well. "You can wait until I return."

Lavi merely whimpered, legs pulling up in a mock curl. Allen always did this before he went away - he started seducing him, and then bluntly broke off to leave the older male in pain until he returned.

**The sad part was that it always worked - and it always secretly made the Bookman miss his partner that much more.  
**

"Oh the cruelty no one else sees." Lavi whimpered, head slipping to rest against Allen's shoulder. He'd given up - this was a battle he never won, though would never admit it.

Allen chuckled, lips pressing to the man's forehead. "Now I really do have to leave, Lavi - want to or not."

"I know, I know." Lavi grumbled, placing a kiss on the boy's cheek before turning over to mope in silence.

Allen sighed, remaining in place on the bed for a moment. He took the time to take a deep breath, storing the smell of the man laying beside him and his room into his memory. He knew it far too well already - but he always had to save that smell. He needed it when he was away - even if it only increased the need for the man it belonged to. Finally, though reluctantly, Allen pulled himself off the bed to stand beside it. He adjusted his uniform, feeling for any inconsistencies.

Lavi listened in silence, pained expression hidden in his pillow. The words that Bookman had spoken so long ago were plaguing him yet again.

_**We are only on the Order's side 'by chance' ...**_

By chance - huh?

Allen was heading for the door when his arm was caught roughly, pulling him back instantaneously. He hadn't the time to complain - his lips were crushed against another pair. These kisses always hurt the most.

It wasn't simply a kiss stolen before they had to hide away for a few hours - it was a reminder. A kiss that reminded them they wouldn't share this time together for a while. A kiss that reminded them that, if all went wrong, they may never share this time together again. A kiss that reminded them they would have to wait for this alone time again before rejoicing upon seeing one another. _A kiss that reminded both of them to stay alive no matter what_.

Lavi broke away first, leaning his head to rest against the shorter male. He felt Allen's brows press together in either agitation or sadness - he sensed it was both as the small male pulled away. The redhead was left finally in a silent room, standing with his head curved towards the ground as if his other half was still there. The stress hit home then, causing the man to fall to his bottom with a soft thump. Was all this weight on Allen's chest as well?

His hand tied itself into his messy hair, teeth set in a soft growl. _By chance - He was only here by 'chance'._

Lavi hated not knowing what to do, but he hated even more having no knowledge to help. He just hated not knowing. Not knowing how to stand keeping this with Allen a secret. Not knowing how he was supposed to keep Bookman from losing all faith in him. Not knowing if he'd ever get the chance to share this time with Allen again. Fuck - he hated not knowing. It made him - a Bookman - feel so damn useless he could die.

He moved, searching his back pocket a moment before extracting a tattered playing card. He already knew every fold, every tear, every design of this card by heart - but he needed to stare at it in this darkness right now.

He was only here by chance - he knew that far too well. _**But that's what made his heart beat faster with Allen**_.  
There was a chance that he'd never have met him - but he had. There was a chance that he'd never have fallen in love with him - but he **had**. There was a chance that he'd never broken that emotionless seal on his heart - but he _**had**_.

Lavi smiled, placing his lips to the card tenderly. For some reason every time he reminded himself that he was only here by chance - it made him love that boy more.  
It made it seem like - maybe - fate was on his side; and that was enough to help him carry that stress. Because Allen was worth every bit of it.

_Even if it was only 'by chance' ... Because, apparently, it was a 'chance' fate, and all parties involved, had been willing to take.

* * *

_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Onii-chan** - older brother.

**Linali** - Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.


	3. Remember

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Three_** - _Remember_****  
**

"Lavi ... Are you even listening to me?"

"Pardon me a moment, Supervisor."

_**BAM.**_

"What the hell, Panda?!"

Lavi sat curled on the floor, hands cradling his aching head. He'd been knocked from his chair and onto the floor with a rough punch to his forehead. Bookman stood, hands folded contently, towering over the boy on the floor. Apparently he was the cause for Lavi's sharp outburst - as if the over-used nickname the eighteen-year-old had screamed out wasn't enough to blame the old man. Linali watched the small scene with a soft smile, this was a bit of normality at least - Lavi had never had too much of an attention span.

Bookman glowered a moment more at the complaining boy on the floor before returning his attention to the man sitting across from him, behind a desk covered in papers. "Please continue."

Komui sighed, adjusting his glasses a moment before folding his hands casually in front of his face. The thirty-year-old was starting to look his age today - he was clearly overtaken with stress. "As I was saying ... Lavi!"

_**BAM.**_

"Oi, Jijii! I'm listening I tell you!"

"Miranda Lotto, and Inspector Howard Link accompanied Kanda Yuu, and Allen Walker. As of now they should be returning late tomorrow evening, and due to pressing time Walker is being allowed to use the Ark."

Lavi's attention was peaked at this point, so much that he cut in the middle of the man's words. "So, Yuu and Allen have back-up if they need it?"

"Lavi, are you going to draw this meeting out longer than even I anticipated?"

At this Bookman raised his hand once again, causing the redhead on the floor to shrink back.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Lavi whined, attempting to protect his abused cranium from the short man standing beside him.

_**BAM. BAM.**_

Komui pressed his left hand to his forehead, as if trying to block out the scene. He was _clearly_ not going to get anything done today.

Lavi had been hit twice, and as a result had crawled to cower against Linali's legs - using her as a shield between the two. The female exorcist was smiling sympathetically, patting the boy on the head in a motherly fashion. Bookman simply remained in his place, attention locked on that of the Chinese Supervisor. If he needed to instruct discipline - not even the small female would stand in his way - and Lavi knew that more than anyone.

"On to the point of this meeting - Lavi, you are to accompany Linali to Naples. We received a report from a Finder this morning stating that unusual phenomena has been occurring around Castel dell'Ovo."

"What kind of phenomena?" Linali looked up, catching her elder brother's eyes a moment.

"Apparently it's similar to that of the town Miranda was found in. No one can enter the castle, and all who attempt to do so end up instead walking back towards the village on the castle's eastern wall - forgetting why they wished to enter in the first place. Finders had attempted to enter - however have been unable to." The man looked over a stack of papers briefly before continuing, "Also a few villagers have reported hearing a strange sound coming from the castle walls at night, however none who have tried to investigate have been able to due to the previous phenomena that I stated."

"Oi, Jijii ... Isn't that the castle that supposedly Virgil had a magical egg placed in?" Lavi looked to the older man, watching his face for a reaction.

The Bookman nodded, "It the older ages it was rumored that the poet was a sorcerer, and did indeed place a magical egg in the castle's foundations."

Lavi looked over to Komui then, "Have there ever been any Akuma or Noah in that region?"

"No confirmed reports of them."

Lavi's attention turned back to Bookman, "Jijii, do you think the 'egg' that was placed in the castle was placed there as protection?"

Komui glanced up understanding the redhead's reasoning instantaneously, "Could this 'egg' possibly have been Innocence, and the poet it's Host?"

Bookman nodded answering both, "More than likely this is the case; Virgil may have foreseen his death and placed his Innocence in the castle to continue protecting the region, even after he'd left this world."

"More than likely the strange phenomena began because the Earl has located that Innocence and is sending out Akuma to get it. It's probably repelling them - and as such is having an adverse effect on the castle and the village around it." Lavi grinned, pushing himself from the floor. His eyes shone - he loved this feeling. He loved it when he knew and understood something more than others. It was a high - a high strong enough to drag his mind away from the stress and worry of recent days. "So, are you coming now, Panda?"

"I expect you to act on your role as the Successor and do your job - I have other business to attend to in Russia."

Lavi's grin fell, mouth slipping into soft line. He knew what that word - business - meant. Bookman business - business that the Order didn't need to know about. Business having to do with the new war that was springing up. "Ah."

Komui shifted, straightening the stack of papers that had been his source for the present debriefing. "Lavi, Linali - you two are to be ready for departure in twenty minutes. Your goal is to determine if there is indeed Innocence within Castel dell'Ovo - if there is you are to retrieve and return to headquarters as soon as possible. Avoid battle if you are able to, we don't need you two gaining unneeded injuries. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir!" Linali stood, saluting with a smile which her brother returned. She then spun on her heel, heading out the door in a rush to ready herself.

Lavi grinned, nodding before offering a mock salute. "I'll be sure to keep an eye on your beloved Linali."

Komui smiled softly, "Thank you - do well to take care of yourself, also."

"When have you ever known me not to look out for my own neck?" With another grin, Lavi turned following Bookman out of the door.

He didn't know why but he felt lighter - maybe it was the fact that he'd learned it wasn't just Kanda and Allen - but he had a fleeting suspicion it was the simple fact that he hadn't failed as the heir of Bookman. Something he'd felt as if he'd been slowly doing recently. He had a feeling that he'd hit this 'phenomenal egg' right on the head. His hands folded behind his neck, eyes locked in front of him as he turned to head towards his own room.

"Lavi ..."

Lavi froze. Great - he knew that tone. He was about to get a lecture. "Eh?"

"You'll do good to remember you are the successor of Bookman - nothing more, nothing less - and as such should avoid making any unneeded attachments - in the end those attachments will only make things harder on you." Bookman's voice was calm, attention facing away from his 'grandson'.

Lavi's brows furrowed, attention dropping to the ground. He knew that - he knew that far too well. "I know."

"Remember what I told you about this new 'Crystal Type' as well - if you feel your Innocence changing you are to let me know immediately."

"I know." Meaning? Avoid anything that will suspend your lifespan, Lavi. Avoid getting yourself killed, Lavi. Avoid getting too caught up in this place, Lavi. Avoid being anything more than Bookman Junior, _Lavi_.

Without another word the smaller stature began his departure, not looking back to observe the boy he was leaving behind. Equally the eighteen-year-old was left in silence - a foul mood taking him over once more.

"Way to waste five minutes of my time, Jijii ..."

--

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Allen whimpered, eyes locked on the carriage's door. He was starving - he had not eaten since around 7 AM. He was frustrated - he'd been cooped up in a carriage for nearly an hour with Kanda. He was stressed - there had still been no information on Cross Marian. He was worried - he had that feeling in his stomach.

That feeling that he always got when something was going to go wrong.

It was mixing with his hunger, making him more irritable and nauseous. Add Kanda to this mix - and he was at his snapping point.

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

"Can you shut that damn thing up?!" Kanda was equally at his snapping point. He'd been listening to that constant roaring for nearly twenty minutes.

Allen glared, clapping unenthusiastically. "Good work, Kanda, you're learning to think of others." Clearly he was mocking his 'concern'.

The swordsman growled, arm snatching out to grasp Allen's collar. Allen in turn wrapped his fist around Kanda's collar. Timcampy fluttered upwards, circling the air above the two in protest.

"If I could make it stop, I would - Ba-Kanda."

"Then, shall I cut out that wretched organ and silence it for you?"

Miranda sighed, slumping back in her seat. She'd learned to simply let the two fight it out - all her intervening did was agitate Kanda more, and cause Allen to defend her. That only added more stress to the mix. Link equally remained silent, hand knocked in his blond hair in an attempt to knead his aching head. How many times had they fought just during this carriage ride?

Seven: Seven. Bloody. Times.

He growled, mentally wanting to steal the Japanese man's blade and run it threw himself simply to stop the swirling of insults. How much longer would he be forced to listen to this?

"A-Allen-kun ..." Miranda's voice broke in, instantly earning her an intense glare from both the British and Japanese male. She shrunk back, regretting speaking once again. She was useless - why would this time be any different?

It seemed to have some effect, even if it was minor. Both men released one another in a huff, falling back with crossed arms against their seats. They'd both run out of insults for the moment.

Allen adverted his attention elsewhere, eyes peering through the small window on the carriage's door. He watched silently as buildings passed by, lost in thought for a moment. Timcampy settled down once more, landing atop Allen's head with a huff. Allen's eyes lifted briefly to the golden golem. He was maintaining a normal size for the moment ... and he was still unable to locate his master. Tim hadn't been eating as much lately - probably out of worry over the missing gensui.

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Allen sighed, crossed arms drooping to rest in his lap. That annoying feel in his stomach was getting worse - it was making him edgier.

Miranda observed the boy, readying her voice to ask him a question. "Allen-kun, are you feeling alright?"

He didn't take the time to answer. His head had snapped, left eye reacting. "Kanda!"

"Tch."

Allen started to reach for the door, however lost his need as the swordsman kicked it open and launched out. Shots were fired then, causing the driving Finder to swerve and the carriage to topple over in a rough stop. Allen climbed out, arm activating as an explosion touched the air. Apparently Kanda had already taking two of the Akuma down. They were surrounded by a mass of Level Two's and Three's.

Could he just get a damn _**break**_?

--

Lavi groaned, head falling into his hand as he watched the world pass by outside the train. He'd been so caught up in talking earlier that he'd failed to realized until recently - he'd be gone when Allen returned. It would take he and Linali at least four days to get to Naples, grab the Innocence, and then get back home. They'd managed to catch the train heading to Rome before it had left - barely - but they'd managed, and as such would be arriving in the city in the morning around 9:45. Then they would have to board another train around 10:15 AM, before arriving in the city of Naples around Noon.

Allen would be arriving home tomorrow night, and if Lavi was lucky he'd manage to get himself and Linali home - in one piece - within the next few days.

If he was lucky - Allen wouldn't have already been shipped out on another mission by then.

"Lavi-kun?"

The redhead turned his attention the the small girl sitting opposite him. "Hm?"

"You looked stressed ... " Concern was laced in her voice, eyebrows furrowed.

"Ah, things have been roughly lately."

Linali nodded, eyes turning to stare out the window. "You have that feeling too, then?"

Lavi lifted his brow, "What feeling?"

"Like the Earl is going to make a big move soon."

Lavi was silent a moment, eyes fleeing to the safety of the world outside the train car. Yeah - he had that feeling. He'd had that feeling a while now. "Yeah ... it's like he's mocking us."

This was the calm before the storm - he was used to this feeling. He'd seen it in all the wars he'd been in. Something big was going to happen soon, it was just a matter of when.

Linali shifted in her seat, pulling her legs upwards to tuck beneath her. She took in a sharp breath, eyes focusing on her hands in her lap.

Lavi took note of this; she was worrying over others again.

"Eek!" Linali jumped when her nose was flicked lightly, eyes shooting up to blink at the boy in front of her.

He grinned, "Everyone will be fine, eh? None of us - not even Chaoji - are simple push-overs."

She smiled, nodding. Her hands clung to the red skirt covering her hips, they relaxed, allowing her to take a deep breath. Everyone would be fine.

Lavi mimicked her breath before standing. He needed air. "I'll be back in a bit - don't get hurt or your brother will have my head." He teased, sticking his tongue out before exiting the cabin silently.

Here he was telling her not to worry - and he couldn't stop.

He passed through a few cars, paying no attention to the rest of the people on the train. A few gave him a strange stare before returning to their lives, others ignored him. He reached what he was seeking then, pushing open the door of the last car he was hit with a blast of air. It threw him back a moment. It was that time of year where Fall was starting to slip into Winter. It was getting colder.

Lavi pressed forward, sliding the door behind him closed before tugging the red scarf around his neck a bit tighter. The cool air was refreshing - it cleared his head, and made it easier to relax. He leaned over, pressing his weight against the rail encircling the train's open end. His left hand hung over the edge, right reaching into his back pocket to retrieve the card. His fingers encased it lovingly before bringing his hand out to hover the item out above him. Nostalgia hit home then - he'd been like this before, in a similar situation. There was no boat on water, nor had there been a grievous battle before he'd taken this place. But it reminded him of that night.

--

_**Don't be taken in by the war.  
You are the successor of Bookman and nothing else.  
Haven't I taught you to be nothing more than an onlooker no matter the situation?**_

_Lavi stood leaning against the railing of the restored ship. His eyes were locked on the card held above him, near the full moon. He'd been thinking too much - like always - Bookman's words always the source of his anxiety. He knew the old man was right - and that was the problem. He knew it, yet had been unable to stop anything that had happened. He was Bookman Junior - he wasn't anything or anyone else. "We're not their allies ..."_

_**We're only on the Order's side 'by chance'.**_

_"We are only involved ... in order to record history." His words were hollow, barely a whisper. He spoke them aloud as a means of proving it to himself._

_Lavi pulled the card down, closer, as his head landed on his crossed arms. He was still clinging to it as if it were made of gold. "A Bookman ..." His words drifted off, frustration lacing within his voice. "Has no need for a heart."_

_--  
_

Had he really been that naive back then?

He found himself scoffing, pulling the card back down and slipping it into his back pocket once more. He hated thinking back on his own moments of weakness - they were annoying. He didn't mind remembering other's moments of weakness - but he couldn't stand seeing his again. When they happened he tended to curse his photographic memory. All it took was one common factor, no matter how small, for him to remember things as if he were reliving them.

It had just been like then - he'd been worrying over Allen who was out of his reach. He'd been traveling with Linali - and had secluded himself from the girl to mask his anxiety. Then, he'd fallen prey to ...

The Bookman-to-be's mind drifted off, eyes growing considerably large. He spun on his heel, hand gripping the small striped hammer attached to his thigh. He had that same feeling as he'd had then - only this time he'd listened.

It came then, forcing the redhead to yank the hammer from it's holster roughly. His left hand whipped out, sending the Akuma back a few inches with a punch. That was all the time he needed, "Oodzuchi Kodzuchi- Shin!"

The hammer extended, pulling the boy up abruptly to tower above the moving train. "Tch." His teeth clenched, body moving to balance on the roof of the train's car. The Akuma was climbing, pulling itself up in pursuit of the fleeing exorcist. It was a Level Two - small fry compared to that damn Level Four.

"Man! Man! Man!" The large hammer was yanked back, it's host's knees locking as it sent the face of the hammer into the chest of the Akuma. Gunfire filled the air then.

_**SCRRRRCCCHH.**_

Lavi nearly lost his balance as the train pulled to a stop, he stumbled forward slamming the hammer's cross topper into the train's roof. Tearing metal filled his ears, hands gripping the handle of the large mallet to steady himself.

"Lavi-kun!"

His head jerked, locking on the small girl who appeared abruptly dancing on the cold air to his left. He caught her eyes, following them a moment. Level One's and Two's - exactly twenty-one. **Perfect**.

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Onii-chan** - older brother.

**Linali** - Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.

**Gensui** - marshal.

**Oodzuchi Kodzuchi** - "Big Hammer, Little Hammer"

**Shin** - extend.

**Man** - grow.


	4. Discovery

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Four_** - _Discovery_****  
**

He was exhausted, and he was beyond agitated.

Allen found himself walking, barely able to keep his head up. He'd just ate his fill - ten plates - not the most he'd ever eaten, but one of the times he'd managed to keep a whole table to himself. They'd returned about four hours ago - most of that time was wasted giving a full report to the Vatican. He hated dealing with those people - they drained him to the point of exhaustion with their witless banter, pointless questions, and unbearable nagging. One of the many reasons he hated when he was required to use the Ark. Another thing he hated was that damn name - the Fourteenth. He felt like choking the life from the next person who used that name.

It was nearly 2 AM, and here he was wandering the halls. He was thankful that Howard Link had been allowed to ease up on him a bit - the constant watch was unnerving. He had nothing to hide.

At least nothing to hide that concerned the Fourteenth.

"Lavi?" He barely recognized his voice - it was low, and he sounded drunk from his exhaustion. The sixteen-year-old pushed the Bookman-to-be's door open softly, head slipping in to search the room.

No one was there.

Allen groaned softly, closing the door as he entered. The soft click of the lock faded - leaving the white headed boy in silence. He remained still, simply leaning against the wall a moment. The room was cold, the candles that were usually lit when the man was working late were empty. It smelled of settled dust, and a fading scent of sandalwood. He'd been ignoring it - the man's room had been his last hope. He hadn't been in the library, nor had he been in the cafeteria. The balcony that the redhead usually occupied when thinking had been empty - as had Allen's room. This had been his last hope - and Lavi wasn't here. Lavi wasn't in the Order building at all.

Pushing himself up, Allen trudged to the small desk hidden beneath mountains of books. He felt around, searching for something in particular. He found it then - a small matchbox - before extracting one of the small devices and lighting it. He placed it to the wick of a degrading candle, before dousing the matchstick. His eyes searched over the books roughly before he found a torn, folded, piece of paper jutting from between a thick black one and an even thicker red one. Mentally he sighed - this had been something Lavi had come up with. The two books were simply novels, the black one Allen's favorite - and the red one Lavi's. Whenever there was paper between them - it was from, or for Allen. A secret place for the two to exchange notes; something no one else knew about - another secret of theirs.

Allen reached out taking the note, yanking it from between the two books. He opened it then, eyes sagging, and started searching the piece of parchment for an explanation.

**Allen,**

**Went to Naples with Linali on a mission - should be back in about four days.  
Be safe, and **chew** your food - eh?**

**- Lavi**

**Oh P.S. - Please don't knock my stuff over like last time, it took forever to clean all that shit up.**

Allen's brow twitched at the last line scribbled in the Bookman-to-be's messy scrawl. He hadn't meant to knock the various books over last time - Linali had walked in and scared him, thus making him bump into a stack of books. They'd fallen over and taken out two ink bottles, and had sent a mountain of papers into the air. It had been a mess in more than one way - and had been extremely hard to explain his reason for being in the man's empty room.

He took the time to look over the date - it had been written yesterday, early. Only Lavi added the time in his dates - and he did so down to the last second.

About four days?

The note was held over the candle's glowing wick - lit and then allowed to burn down to ashes. Allen leaned over to douse the light, turning on his heel to fall back first onto the vacant bed. His right arm lifted, tossing over his face to hide his eyes. He was exhausted, and he wasn't getting up. He refused to walk anymore. He was sleeping here, and no one could tell him otherwise.

No one could tell him to get his ass into the covers.

He turned, curling into a small ball before burying his cheek into a pillow. "Stupid, Lavi ..."

--

Lavi stood, back pressed against a wall in silence. His breath was quickened, being drug threw his nose in small bursts. He was getting worn out, and he'd lost sight of his female companion.

Since the first attack on the train there had been an onslaught of Akuma - something that had assured him ever more that his guess about Virgil's egg was correct. While on the train it had been attacked four times - the fourth time he and Linali had agreed that it would be better if they continued on without help from the contraption. It would be safer for the civilians if they abandoned the steam powered locomotive. This decision had set them back a good four hours - but it had been the best one they could've made. As such they'd arrived in Naples behind schedule, and since the arrival the attacks had all but stopped - at least until night had fallen.

The two had arrived at the castle around then - they'd taken care of securing rooms for themselves beforehand. There was something strange about this place - and since he'd seen it the Bookman-to-be had been trying to figure it out.

The only things he knew? There was Innocence in this castle somewhere - the lack of Akuma in the village and surrounding area was evidence of this. As was the fact that since they'd entered in the cold walls of this place there had been a lack of lower leveled Akuma - there had been a few of the machine's, but they had all been Level Two and Three. And then there was something else in this castle - something that had been singing lowly since nightfall. It was an eerie song - unsettling in it's beauty. It reminded him of what a siren song had been described as in old lore. ... Maybe that was part of the unsettling part.

He didn't believe in myths if he had no evidence. He didn't believe without seeing, that was just the type of man he was. But something about this castle wast driving him mad. Ever since he'd entered - his hair had been standing on end.

A shiver coursed through Lavi's spine, causing the male to tighten the scarf about his neck. His grip on the invoked hammer also tightened - something was coming. He braced himself - counting down from ten in his head.

"Lavi-kun!"

The female's scream forced him to pause, hammer ready to knock the small girl into a wall. Mentally he sighed, the tension that had been plaguing his body fleeing momentarily. "Found anything?"

Linali equally sighed, stepping away from the large hammer that hovered a mere ten inches above her. "No, have you?"

The redhead groaned, "No." This was getting them no where. He stood fully, eyes searching the corridor. Something was strange about this hallway ... "Linali ..."

"Hm?" The female exorcist was already walking off, taking the time to glance back at her companion a moment.

Lavi paused, eyes locked on the corridor a moment longer. His head shook, body moving forward so he could follow after Linali. "Nothing ..."

He wasn't sure about something, and as such he preferred not stating things. He hated when he wasn't sure about something - it made him feel as if he was failing again. ... No he wasn't failing - he'd guessed right about this place? Right? The functioning emerald looked about, taking in the dreary paintings on the walls. His tongue slipped out - whoever had lived here throughout the years had really bad taste. ... Allen would love it.

"Oniisan was right - it's similar to the town Miranda-san was found in. I tried to leave the castle a few times, and ended up walking right back in. The Innocence is having an adverse reaction on us."

"Figures as much ..." Lavi complained, mentally sighing. Figured he'd be stuck in here until he found that damn 'egg'. Figured there was no record on exactly where the damn thing was put. "Oi, Linali let-."

"Lavi-kun!"

He'd been cut off completely, only realizing it until after he'd been thrown threw a wall and into a bed - shattering it.

"Fuck ..." His voice was low, shaken. His breath had been knocked out of him - and he was sure he'd felt a rib or two at least crack. Lavi pressed down, bracing himself against his hammer's handle, and attempted to stand. He succeed, but with a bit of difficulty. He'd hit his head against the opposite wall, and as such he world was briefly spinning. He wobbled, clinging to Oodzuchi Kodzuchi as if it was his only saving grace. At the moment - it was; in fact this hammer had been his saving grace through a lot. "Akuma bastard ..." His voice was rough, filled with agitation. He was sick of being the one that got knocked through walls. Every damn time it was _**him**_.

That song sounded closer.

His head lifted, searching the room. From the look of it, it was an old bed chamber that had began to decay from misuse. His eyes narrowed in on a fallen chest in the corner, before stepping towards it.

The song got closer.

Lavi forgot his aching head, forgot the fact that the Akuma that had thrown him was probably battling Linali - he'd found something. That was god news for both the Black Order, and the Bookmen. That was good news for _him_.

Left hand releasing his hammer it reached out, pushing what was left of the decayed chest to the side. Nothing was there, at least to the naked eye. He leaned, lowering himself to the ground, and instantly a pain shot up his side. Wincing the redhead stopped, letting the ache die down before he moved again. Yeah - he'd at least cracked a rib. He pressed his head to the wall, eye closing to listen. The male stilled, silence filling the room.

A grin crept up, eye opening with a shine. The sound was coming from the wall - right here. Standing he gripped his hammer, pulling back before swinging it roughly into the stones. They crumbled, leaving a gaping hole in the room's wall. Instantly the room was filled with the eerie song - louder than it had been previously. The male exorcist reached in, hand fumbling around the dark crevice. He was looking for something - and then he froze. He'd found it.

"Lucky!"

With a grin the redhead gripped the item and pulled it from the wall. It was an egg, about the size of his fist, made of gold and decorated with various gems. It looked expensive, and apparently was the source of the eerie sound that had been haunting the castle. His hand searched it, eye taking in every detail of the relic. It was old - at least 19 centuries old if in fact it had belonged to the deceased poet Virgil. He lifted it to his ear, nodding to himself. The sound was coming from this egg - he didn't, however, understand exactly how. A music box was advanced, and the BCs hadn't had much technology - for something like this to have been in the possession of the Poet ... There he went again, the historian in him's interest had been peaked. Something had caught his attention then - he'd felt an inconsistency in the design.

His fingers threaded back over, finding the inconsistency once again. It felt like a clasp of some kind. Pressing up a small click filled his ears, and then silence. The song had stopped completely, and then egg held a crack. The Bookman pulled then - opening the artifact. His mouth slipped into a soft line, eyes large. There it was - sitting right inside the egg as if riding in a carriage - the Innocence. He relaxed, mind easing despite the rough ache in his side.

He'd succeeded as an Exorcist.

He'd succeeded as a Bookman.

"Lavi-kun!"

**He wasn't failing anyone.** _He could see Allen soon_.

He was jerked from his inspection, eye shining almost as much as the large grin on his face. "Oi! I found it!"

"Thank you, Exorcist ..."

Lavi's head jerked in the opposite direction, eye growing instantly. "Shi-!"

--

_"Wah!"_

_Allen spun, watching as the redheaded exorcist and Chaoji started falling along with a crumbling part of the ark. Lavi was already acting, whipping the invoked hammer out and reaching to grab Chaoji's arm with a grunt._

_Allen reached out, "Lavi!"_

_"Shin!" The small hammer extended upwards, searching for the open hand of the younger male. It connected, and Allen's hand grasped it roughly. That's when it happened. **The small hammer shattered.**_

_Allen stared, eyes locked with those of the falling redhead. Both were stunned, and Allen was simply left to watch as Lavi and Chaoji faded away along with the crumbling ark. _No._Allen watched, noticing the small - sad - smile playing across Lavi's face. Then he lost him - he was gone from sight, and the white haired boy was left with an empty extended hand. His voice shook, "Lavi ... Chaoji ..." He let the last remains of the other exorcist's Innocence fall from his palm._

_Linali stared, not believing what she'd seen. "Lavi ... Chaoji ..."_

_After everything - after that battle with Road to regain Lavi ... after all of that he'd ... Lavi had - Tears welled, one falling as the realization sunk in. Allen's voice rose in a scream then - growing louder in it's frustration and agony._

_**He was gone.**  
_

_--_

Allen's hands shook, he was trying to focus on the task at hand - he had to find them. He'd been thinking back - remembering when he'd had this feeling before. No, he had to calm down. **Lavi would be fine**.

He just needed to find him - and then punch that idiot for all he was worth.

"Lavi-kun!"

Allen growled, slicing the Level One in half that had been blocking his path. He searched, eyes scanning for the female exorcist's voice. He didn't see her, but he'd heard her scream. Where was she?

Komui had received a report from one of the Finders accompanying his younger sister, and Lavi. The two had been attacked - and as such Allen and Krory had been dispatched to return the two home in one piece. When Allen had heard about the situation - he'd felt his heart stop. He'd heard only key words when the Science Department Head was speaking to he and the Romanian baron. He'd heard - Lavi, Linali, attacked, seriously injured, and go get them.

He'd nearly broke into a run before hearing Komui out completely - Krory had been the only one holding him place. He'd seen Allen tense, and as such had placed a comforting hand on the younger boy's shoulder. Then, when they'd arrived through the ark he'd nearly screamed. The castle outwardly had looked intact - degrading from wear and tear over the years - but in tact. When they'd entered to search for the two missing exorcists though ... it looked nearly trashed. From the Finder's they'd heard at one point the castle had been able to be accessed by others than exorcists - then almost as soon as that had happened they'd been locked outside once more. Apparently that was when the attack had started inside.

The only thing that Allen and Krory could think - Lavi and Linali. They'd made sure to contain the Akuma in the castle, and away from others. There had been a strange sound - an eerie song playing that chilled the white headed boy's bones.

"Allen-kun!"

Allen froze, turning on his heel at the baron's voice. "Krory!" He called back, attempting to locate the man through the smoking debris. He was forced to parry the onslaught of a flying Akuma then. It had dove, charging him with a sabre on it's forearm. His teeth gritted, grip tightening on the large sword before pressing forward to return the blow to the demon. He nearly slipped, anger and worry taking the best of him. Damn it - he needed to calm down and focus.

He wouldn't do Lavi or Linali any good dead.

The Akuma caught itself on the air, spinning before rushing the sixteen-year-old once more. Allen parried again, growling and turning to send a kick into the machine's side. He'd gained an opening then, and likewise took it. The large sword was swung, catching the demon's torso and slicing it open. He charged forward, breaking through the smoke to search for the baron. "Krory!"

"Allen-kun!"

His head turned, body moving around a corner abruptly. He skidded to a stop then, spotting the older man and Linali. She was coughing, being held up by the Romanian. The small girl was covered in dirt and grime; her legs looked weak, as if they were going to collapse on her at any moment. Her left shoulder was bleeding, as was her right thigh from a large gash. She coughed again, eyes searching desperately. She spotted Allen after a few moments, "Allen-kun! I don't know where Lavi-kun is! We were together at one point, but then we got seperated! It's all my fault - he was trying to look after me and hurt himself more!" She was in tears, brows knitted in dire concern.

Allen took the girl's face in his grasp a moment. "Linali, please calm down. I'll find Lavi - it wasn't your fault."

She shook her head abruptly, more tears pouring from her eyes. When she got in this mind set you couldn't tell her otherwise - Allen knew this as well as her brother. The male nodded solemnly before releasing the girl and turing his attention to Krory, "Krory, please watch after Linali. I'll return with Lavi shortly."

The baron nodded, picking the female up and tucking her onto his back. "Hang on tightly."

Allen didn't wait to see the girl's response, he'd already broke into a run with his sword over his shoulder. "Lavi!" His voice sounded desperate, highly agitated and worried. It didn't sound like him at all - he reminded himself once again to calm down. Linali's words were flowing through his mind though - he knew exactly how Lavi was. He'd do everything in his power to keep everyone safe. He'd break himself before he let anyone else break.

Allen rounded a corner, he took the turn too sharply and earned a rough scrap on his elbow. He ignored it, mind set in the task at hand - bright rusty orange hair. Where the hell was he? "Lavi! Answer me damn it!"

Something came crashing through a wall then - nearly taking Allen down in the process. It wasn't Lavi - but the large hammer that had sent the Akuma flying was all he'd needed to see. Allen rushed through the hole, coughing at the sharp smell of burning flesh. Lavi had used his Fire Seal apparently. "Lavi!" His voice caught in a cough once more, eyes squinting.

"Mah - about damn time."

The sixteen-year-old froze, eyes large at the voice. His heart felt lighter suddenly, the panic slipping away in small waves as he located the male.

Lavi was in the far corner of the room, the only thing keeping him standing was his right hand wrapped tighting around his hammer's handle. His left arm was tucked, clinging to an object about the size of his fist - an egg that glittered in the dull light. His uniform was in ruin, scarf a ghost of it's former self. His hair was down - he'd lost his decorative head scarf, and his left side was drenched in blood. His breathing was heavy - from the look of it he'd been taking blows one after the other. His mouth was bloodied - apparently he had some internal bleeding. He looked like he was going to collapse any moment.

Lavi looked up, catching the gray eyes watching him from across the room. He smiled softly, eyes in a saddened puppy-like droop. His brows knitted in concern, "Did you find Linali? I lost her when I got the wind knocked out of me a while ago."

Allen ignored the boy's voice, fist pulling back before impacting with his lover's left cheek. "Idiot, Lavi!"

Lavi grimaced, taking the blow in stride shakily. "Yeah, yeah - I deserved that for losing her." His breath was sucked in suddenly, a sharp pain shot up through his left side. "Ow! Damn it, Allen, that hurts!" Despite his words, he was smiling softly, head nudging his partner's lovingly.

"Serves you right, idiot Usagi." Allen's voice shook, hand gripping the older male's torso tightly. **Lavi was fine.** He'd been telling himself that repetitively, but it wasn't sinking in until now. Lavi was hurt - but he was alive. That was all that mattered - as long as Lavi was alive he would heal. As long as Lavi was alive - he could breathe. "Krory is with Linali - she's fine."

Lavi sighed, body falling in a small slump against the slighter male. His worry over the female seemed to have been the only thing keeping him up.

Allen sighed, taking his lover's arm and wrapping it around his shoulder so he could take on the most of the boy's weight. "Don't fall asleep yet, stupid Usagi."

"Meh ..." Lavi's voice was sleepy - he was already half-way out.

Allen growled, kicking the boy's shin.

"Ow! Damn it, I'm hurt enough already!"

A small smile slipped over the white haired exorcist's lips. Good - he'd woken him up, at least a bit. He started forward then, dragging the redhead along carefully. "You can sleep when we get home."

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Oniisan** - older brother.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.

**Usagi** - rabbit.

**Oodzuchi Kodzuchi** - "Big Hammer, Little Hammer"

**Shin** - extend.


	5. Stalemate

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

First off - thank you all for the reviews and for enjoying this. It makes me happy that it's gone so well - I hadn't expected it to be reviewed as much as it has been with the few chapters. My updates will probably be a bit slower after this - I have some tests coming up as far as school, so I'll be using a lot of my time preparing for them. Don't fret though - my updates won't stop ... they'll just be slower than they've been. I promise they won't go into a full halt though; I'm far too into the plot of this for that to happen. (Yeah - I enjoy writing this if you hadn't noticed.) With that said - on to the usual banter I have before every chapter!

I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Five_** - _Stalemate_****  
**

"Jijii!"

The Science Department had claimed the artifact holding the Innocence two days ago, and since then had been unable to crack exactly what the egg was. Bookman had returned the day after the department had claimed it, and as such had been locked away all night with the men. Lavi - unfortunately - had been bound to the hospital ward until this morning, thus had been unable to examine his treasure further. That was part of the problem - he wanted to know what it was, how it worked, and what it could do. His memory kept replaying the thing - taunting him with something he couldn't learn about. It was driving him mad - as was the old man banning him from the very corridor the egg was being held on. The excuse? He wasn't Bookman - and as such had no need of knowing anything about it quite yet. Lavi clung to that one word - yet: whether to comfort his pride or quell his annoyance he, however, didn't know. He wasn't Bookman - **yet**. Hell if he wouldn't find out everything about that thing though - that feeling powered his very core. That feeling to understand and know all. That feeling to know more than anyone.

Lavi lingered, silently glaring at the barricaded hallway. It wasn't fair - he'd found the damn thing. He at least had the right to find out why Virgil had something that advanced in his possession ... not to mention how damn _long_ it was taking those guys. He'd have had the thing cracked in twelve hours tops - but no. He'd been locked in the opposite end of the Order, thrown into a sling and forbidden from exerting much effort for a while. Apparently four broken ribs, a ruptured side, minor internal bleeding, and a broken arm meant you were heavily injured. Apparently that meant you couldn't do much other than take up space. Something he hated doing - he hated being useless. He hated having nothing to do while everyone else around him was practically at their boiling point from stress. His sole comrade in this annoying battle of uselessness - Linali; and that was because she'd nearly broken both legs.

He had to admit - Linali had it hard. She was stuck in a wheelchair - unable to do anything to get away from her fawning, over worried, older brother. ... Okay, so maybe he'd had the light punishment. _Maybe_. Even though he felt like strangling the girl - she still wouldn't give up the 'It's all my fault Lavi's so banged up' argument. That was something he hated more than being useless - being pitied. Even Bookman knew that much, and avoided pitying him. Then again, Bookman didn't pity much of anyone. Lavi had always wondered if the man was even capable of the emotion - he highly doubted it.

Lavi stared, left brow twitching softly in annoyance. He'd give up - for now, anyway.

The redhead turned on his heel, right had grabbing the sling around his neck and adjusting it slightly. He hated wearing the damn thing - it drove his neck insane. He moved forward, rounding a corner slowly. He'd gotten used to checking the corners - making sure no one was coming before conquering them. He was scouting for anyone he had the potential of bumping into - he'd learned his lesson the last time he'd been injured. It hurt like hell when someone bumped into you, and Lavi was keen on avoiding it. That, and he was searching for a patch of white hair. He hadn't seen Allen much since they'd returned to the Order - sure Allen had stopped by to see he, and Linali, the first day they'd been locked in the hospital - but he hadn't seen him since. That was part of his frustration as well; he hadn't been able to touch Allen in six days. Six. Damn. _Long_. Days. No touching. No kissing. No **anything**.

Oh he was frustrated, alright. He was frustrated in more ways than anyone could imagine.

His speed increased - mind wandering in a direction he'd rather it hadn't. Lavi searched, left eye taking in every detail carefully. He knew these halls by heart, but he always restudied them. Every time he saw them there was something different about them - maybe something that wouldn't have registered with anyone else - but he noticed it. He noticed something else then - something white had streaked past the end of the hall, disappearing into the cafeteria. His speed increased again, feet taking charge before it had even registered in his mind. It was about 9 AM - and that had most certainly been Allen. Of course it was Allen - he was the only person capable of going into the cafeteria with such an attitude. An attitude of pure, and uncontrollable, bliss. At the thought, Lavi chuckled. Just being able to watch Allen stuff himself silly would be enough for him.

He reached out, opening the door of the large commons room with his usable hand. Entering he searched, emerald brighter than it had been in a few days. He spotted the boy he was looking for then, a smile slipping out. Allen was near the back, at the table the two of them often shared, and was currently biting into a skewer of Mitarashi Dango. He was out of uniform - something that alerted the redhead immediately that he wasn't busy. Allen was a gentleman - which often worked to Lavi's advantage. He dressed his best always - but he only wore his uniform if he had something important to do. That meant Lavi could annoy him to his heart's content without having to worry about stressing him out - or making him late. Not that Lavi worried about it much anyway.

"Stuffing your face to it's capacity - as always."

Allen nearly choked, head jerking to stare at the eighteen-year-old. His mouth was closed, cheeks bulging from the presence of two dumplings wedged within them. "Bari!" His voice was muffled, and words scattered from the food.

Lavi laughed, wincing instantly from the sharp intakes of breath that pained his side. He pulled out the chair on the opposite side of the table, sinking into it slowly. He'd taken note of the dire concern, and utter joy in the younger boy's eyes. Both emotions concerning Lavi - the concern the redhead would ignore, but the joy he'd revel in. "Lavi - not Bari, Allen. Honestly, have you forgotten my name already?"

At this Allen cast the man a dark glare, chewing pace increasing. He swallowed after a moment, pointing the half-empty skewer at the redhead - as if planning to use it to swat him. "Not. Funny."

Lavi grinned, trying hard not to laugh - he'd only hurt himself in the long run after all. "Actually, I thought it was quite funny." He leaned forward, biting the end of the skewer playfully.

At first he'd been hesitant about the action - but he was glad he'd done it after all. Allen's reaction had been reward enough. The whitehead had literally dropped the wooden stick, hand retreating, and face turning a delightful crimson. Lavi grinned, grabbing the opposite end of the skewer before placing the two dumplings on his partner's plate. In the end he'd earned a rough glare from the sixteen-year-old; whether it was for him taking the food, or the manner which he'd done it though, he wasn't sure.

Allen returned to eating, finishing off the skewer of dango before turning to a plate of Shrimp Tempura. He dug in instantly, ignoring the chuckles from the male sitting in front of him.

Lavi watched in silence, slipping backwards to relax his back in his chair. That was something else that had been bothering him, nothing he would mention, but it was sore. It had been sore before he'd gotten injured though - his bad posture would be his back's death eventually. His eyes roamed, taking in the sight of the morning in the cafeteria. It was never very busy around this time - everyone came in earlier, or much later. That was something he'd learned very early upon joining the Order. His lips slipped into a soft line ... that felt as if it were so long ago. His roaming eyes came to a standstill, locking on the eating boy in front of him. ... It felt like he'd met Allen so long ago.

He felt stretched thin suddenly - like he was a book cover that had been pulled far too many times over a novel. Maybe it was his body talking - complaining about him moving around too much. That was probably it, that or his mind working on overload again.

The redhead reached out, thumb and index closing around a piece of rice before pulling it away from Allen's cheek. A pair of gray eyes shot up, locking with his for a moment - they were shooting him a warning, and an apology. Lavi yanked his hand back abruptly, realizing the action he'd taken, before turning his head away to look about once more in silence. He'd moved without thinking - he'd forgotten that wasn't allowed. No one else was allowed to know their secret.

Suddenly his chest felt heavy, like something had dropped and was crushing his lungs. His brows knitted, functioning eye locking on the two exorcists that had entered the room. Arystar Krory, and Miranda Lotto - already locked in a soft conversation with bent heads. His stomach churned, teeth biting into the side of his mouth to hold in the jealous hiss. Lavi returned his attention to his partner, eye freezing instantly. Allen was watching the two exorcist's as well - eyes in a far off, envious, state. His stomach churned again, eye falling to rest on the tabletop. ... Sometimes he hated this - all in all, he could deal with it though. He could ignore it ... but he couldn't ignore that.

He couldn't ignore the look he'd seen on Allen's face.

Lavi stood up in a rush - much too much of a rush. Not only had his side broken into a spurt of pain, but he'd earned a confused glance from Allen. A sad glance from Allen ... a hurt glance. He'd noticed this, and in the end it pushed the action he was taking more. His pace quickened, eyes locked on Jerry's window and mouth set in a hard - agitated - line. He'd managed to reach the window before Krory, and Miranda - something he reveled in for the moment. He liked the two exorcists a lot ... they were just getting on his nerves at the moment. "Two An-Dango skewers." His voice was rough, flowing from clenched teeth.

Jerry took minor notice, turning to prepare the food without a word.

"Lavi-san, how are you feeling?"

Miranda's voice was the one to speak, soft and slightly unsure. Lavi sighed, losing the edge that had been set in his shoulders. A smile appeared, small, however a smile nonetheless. "Sore a bit, but I'm fine."

The woman nodded, a look of relief appearing. "That's good news."

"Ah." Lavi smiled once more, turning his attention back to the window. How long was this going to take?

"How about Linali-san?"

"As good as she can be - still stuck in the wheelchair, and unable to roll away from Komui."

Krory and Miranda both smiled softly at this, the baron chuckling lowly. Lavi added a chuckle, "You know him - he over reacts sometimes."

"Lavviiii-sannnn!" Jerry's voice broke in then, placing a small square plate in the window with a smile.

Lavi took it, returning the smile. Finally. "Ah, thank you." Without another word the redhead turned, pace quickening to a mock-jog. He had the goods - now to put his plan into action. A grin crept up - this would be fun, and would solve the problem of that look on Allen's face. If he didn't piss him off - he'd stun the hell out of him.

"Mah - Allen get your own damn food next time, and don't send me like a delivery boy."

Lavi groaned, throwing in a mock-pout before placing the plate on the table to Allen's left. He received an agitated - highly confused - look from the sixteen-year-old as he pulled out the chair on Allen's left and sank into a sit. He'd rushed it again, wincing before scooting the chair as close to the table and his sling would allow.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, stupid Usagi."

Lavi was sure he'd been the only one to notice the minor change in Allen's insult. He smiled, catching the large gray eyes a moment. He'd stunned that look out of him. The redhead sighed, the weight lifting from his chest slowly; a relaxed smile slipped over his lips, left eye closing leisurely.

Allen smiled timidly, reaching out for one of the An-Dango with his right hand. He bit into it, eyes locking in the opposite direction. His left hand squeezed, grip tightening beneath the table's top.

Lavi returned the squeeze, fingers tracing those of his partner's lovingly. His plan had been simple - go get Allen food as an excuse to switch seats, and then capture the boy's hand beneath the table - and had worked effectively. "Sure, sure, Allen. Just get your own food next time." His voice held no force, and instead could barely be considered agitated. It wasn't words he'd needed to say - simply one's that he'd thrown out there for good measure.

"Get me more Tempura, next time."

Lavi's eye popped open, head turning to face the younger male. "Well, excuse me then."

Allen simply smiled, biting into the first dumplings on his second skewer.

Lavi chuckled, slowing his breathing to dull the harsh spurt of pain that had slipped up his side. His grip tightened on his partner's hand, as if trying to convey what he couldn't say. He gained a squeeze in response, which caused a smile to slip across his lips again.

Holding hands was something he enjoyed far beyond anything else; something about having his fingers twined together with another calmed him. It reassured him - giving him a break from his constant wandering mind. The knot was like an anchor that kept him in that moment - preventing him from thinking of anyone or anything else but that person and their hand. It kept him from thinking of what he needed, or was expected to do - of what he was supposed to be, and all the stress that came with it. It was a reminder - he was Lavi, nothing more or less. No Black Order, no alias, no Bookman - nothing but him and the owner of the hand he was holding.

"Had Komui-san made any progress on figuring out that thing you found?" Allen's voice broke in, soft, and lacking the stuffing of food.

"Nah - Panda won't let me in on the details either." Lavi took a breath, leaning back in his chair a bit farther.

Lavi looked up, feeling the hand he'd been clinging to pull away. He watched the boy stand, and followed suite before grabbing a few of the plates that littered the table. Allowing Allen to go first he followed silently, nodding to Miranda and Krory as they passed. The two exorcists returned the waves; adding one in for Allen who, likewise, returned it before placing his empty food dishes on the revolving belt. Lavi did so as well, placing the empty china down with a soft 'clink' before following the white haired boy to, and out the door.

He pulled away, ignoring the urge to grab Allen's hand, to allow a reasonable distance between he and the sixteen-year-old. He didn't pay much attention as to where he was following Allen to - to be honest he didn't much care as long as he got to be there with the boy. Lavi breathed in, shoulders relaxing, before he adjusted the strap around his neck.

"Is your arm hurting?"Allen looked over, eyes filled with concern.

"Nah - this this is just annoying as hell." Lavi grinned, still fiddling with the cloth.

Allen nodded, hands slipping into his pockets leisurely. His attention returned to the path he was walking, eyes locked ahead of he and the Bookman-to-be.

Lavi watched, taking in the look of the boy's shoulders and eyebrows. Something was on his mind - and he wanted to know what it was. He reached out, ruffling the mass of white hair lightly. "What's on your mind?" Hidden concern laced with his voice, eyebrow cocking upwards quizzically.

"Link appears to be tailing me already this morning ..." Agitation mixed with Allen's proper voice.

Lavi stared a moment before turning his head to look about behind him. Sure enough - there was Howard Link about three yards back, bearing the load of about five books in his arms. His brow twitched, mentally cursing the man. So much for his hope of getting a bit of alone time with Allen in the comfort of his room. "Ah ..."

Allen chuckled, noting the anger in his partner's tone. "Indeed ..." He lowered his voice, gray eyes locking on the redhead through their corners. "Lavi ..."

Lavi turned his attention ahead of him, glancing over before matching the tempo of Allen's voice with his own. "Eh?"

"I'm going to head to Komui-san's office in an attempt to lose him - at most I'll have the excuse of speaking with Linali. If I manage, I'll meet you in your room ... if not I'll see you later on this afternoon."

Lavi sighed, nodding. "Good luck." He broke away from Allen then, continuing to walk on as his lover took the next turn on his right. Sure enough the blond inspector took the corner after the white headed exorcist.

Lavi watched, a slight twinge of wariness filling his mind. He really didn't trust that guy at all, therefore he really didn't like leaving Allen alone with him at all. He took a breath, hand slipping into his pocket. True, Link had never given him any reason to distrust him ... but he'd never given Lavi any reason **to** trust him either. He didn't particularly like Two-Dots ... probably the only thing he and Yuu would even agree on in their life. Yeah - most certainly.

He passed the Science Department's corridor - not even bothering with it. He'd pester Bookman about it later, he had a feeling the old man was bound to appear to bother him about the unfinished reports littering his desk. He felt slightly guilty about that - he hadn't actually ignored the paperwork by choice, more out of force. Ironically, actually doing the reports was sounding rather appealing at the moment - the fact that he felt under worked enough to enjoy doing them however, still scared him. He hated doing nothing _more_ than doing what he was supposed to - hence why Bookman liked making sure he had nothing much to do. He, ironically, got things done then - as confusing as it was, it worked.

Lavi grasped the handle of his door, turning it slowly before entering. He paused in the doorway, looking around at the empty room. Either Allen hadn't had the chance to ditch the Inspector - or he hadn't been able to. The redhead kicked the door closed casually, heading to his bed. He reached it shortly, sinking into a sit with a bored sigh. Maybe he'd take a nap ... What was this? He'd caught sight of a piece of paper jutting from between a black and red novel. He smiled, reaching out and yanking the thing free.

**Me making a mess that time wasn't intentional, and you know it.**

**Stupid, Lavi.**

Lavi chuckled, reading over the neat sentence once more. Only Allen was capable of writing a note - just to tell him off. The Bookman fell back, grunting in pain. He shouldn't have done that at all - that had hurt like hell. Taking a deep breath, he broke into a cough. His brows knitted, that had hurt a lot too - and breathing deeply was clearly out of what he could do without hurting himself. The Bookman-to-be looped a finger around his headband, pulling it down over his eyes to block the intense morning sun coming through his window. He always got a good bit of sun in the morning - a reason he equally liked and hated. The sun could be a good alarm clock ... but then that was also part of the problem. He liked sleeping - and he really disliked it when anyone bothered him when he was doing it.

The room was utterly silent ... and that was the problem.

Everyone was busy doing something - but him. When he had something he needed to do, he enjoyed goofing off, but when he had nothing to do - he wanted to do everything. He wanted to start on those reports, but he couldn't bring himself to move from the bed. It felt better to simply lay there doing nothing, especially with his head silent for the first time in days. It was rare for him to not be thinking about something - but then maybe it was because he had a headache. That, or the fact that he had - finally - confused himself to the point of no return. This was something he highly doubted - but ironically had been waiting for, for years. As of yet though - he still remained all-knowing, and un-confusable.

The click of the door opening and closing caught his attention then, followed by the sound of the lock turning.

A small smile slipped across his lips, hand squeezing the fingers that had locked themselves with his own. "Face it - you will never be able to sneak up on me."

"We'll see about that."

Lavi listened, the boy's voice a hymn to his ears. He felt his shoulders lighten, something that took him off guard. He hadn't noticed how tense he'd been. He felt a hand grab the scarf around his eyes - pushing it down to hang on his neck. A pair of gray eyes looked down, catching his emerald tenderly.

"It's impossible - give up on it." Lavi smiled, eyes smoldering.

Allen returned the smile, he'd positioned himself to hover over the redhead - knees on either side of his lover's torso. He was lying on the man - he wouldn't put any stress on his injuries, nor would he allow himself to cause Lavi pain. His forehead fell, resting against that of his partner. "You know me better than that." Allen gave Lavi's hand a small squeeze.

"Ah ..." Lavi's voice trailed off, lips curling into a smile before pressing against his partner's softly. He wished he'd had use of his other hand - he wanted to touch the boy's cheek.

Allen seemed to have had a similar thought; his free hand opened, slipping into the mass of rusty orange hair; his fingers then curled - as if trying to lock the strands in place.

"Ow - elbow, Allen." Lavi had sucked in a sharp breath, wincing when the boy's elbow pressed down into his ribs.

Allen pulled away, elbow moving apologetically. "Honestly, getting yourself so beat up - you're such a pain in the ass."

Lavi grinned, nose nudging the one hovering to the left of his. "Now, I wouldn't necessarily call me a _pain_ in your ass ..." He laughed, receiving a sharp glare from the blushing boy at his innuendo. "But if I'm such a _pain_, I can certainly refrain from being in, or anywhere _near_ your ass for that matter." The redhead stuck his tongue out playfully.

"I dare you to try - you wouldn't last five minutes."

Lavi chuckled, ignoring the surge of pain in his chest. "Fair enough ..." His voice drifted off, slightly huskier than before. He pressed his lips against the frowning pair hovering above him tauntingly.

Allen returned the kiss, grip tightening on the man's hand. That was all he was allowed - a punishment for getting injured, and one that the British boy though was fair. "Lavi, don't even-." His words were shut off by another kiss. "Think about it. You're in-." Another kiss broke him off, almost desperate to not let him finish. "No shape to do anything at all." Allen pulled away, not allowing the Bookman-to-be to reach him further.

Lavi whined, eyebrow twitching in minor agitation. "Allen, you're mean - you know that?"

"Not wishing you to hurt yourself further is mean?"

"More like not wishing for me to have any fun ..." Lavi coughed, receiving a sharp punch to his shoulder. "Ow!"

Allen pulled up, arms crossing as he sank into a sit on the bed. "Serves you right."

The Bookman-to-be glowered, allowing the wave of pain brought on by his lover to pass before attempting to move. After this he pushed up, scooting to sit beside the whitehead and leaned back against the wall. "Fine - I'll wait ... **_again_**."

Allen smiled, hand pulling Lavi's up softly. He pressed his lips to the top of the man's hand, taking a deep breath. "Thank you."

Lavi sighed - honestly Allen knew far too well how to squirm his butt back onto his good side. "Yeah, yeah ..." The redhead tugged softly, pulling his hand away from the boy before lifting it to cup his chin. He pulled his lover's lips closer.

Fine - he'd wait ... but hell if he wasn't going to make Allen pay for making him wait.

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Mitarashi** - a syrup made from soy sauce, sugar, and starch.

**Dango** - a Japanese dumpling made of rice flour (mochiko). It's related to Mochi, and is often served on a skewer in groups of three to four.

**Mochi** - a Japanese/Chinese rice cake made of glutinous rice that is pounded into paste and then molded into shape.

**An-Dango** - also known as **Anko Dango**; it's a dango with a sweetened red bean paste flavor.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Tempura** - a classic Japanese dish of deep-fried, battered, vegetables or seafood.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.

**Usagi** - rabbit.


	6. Crescendo

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

Happy (late) Halloween! :]

Also the first part of this chapter is a 'flashback/memory' but is one that resides solely in the world of this fan fiction. It was never said what Allen did in the manga ... so I made up my own version of it.  
(You'll understand when you read it.)

I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Six_** - **_**Crescendo  
**_

_Lavi looked up, eyes focusing on the wall in font of him in confusion. He took note of the blotched sunlight streaming in through the window ... it was late morning already, and it was raining. Apparently he'd been working through the night - it had been a busy night after all. His thoughts paused there, brows pressing into a hard line. Something about last night had been awkward - the conversation he'd listened to and stored for records. Only key parts of the conversation had been of any interest to him, and Allen's words had been one of them.  
_

_**"When I joined the Organization ... I swore to Mana that I'd never stop, no matter what, that I'd keep walking until I died."  
"I'm the one who swore!"  
"I don't know how much I've been influenced by the Fourteenth's 'memories'; and honestly I don't really know how to take the news about Mana ... but I still love him."  
"These feelings ... come from my heart, from the real me. So I'm going to keep my promise to Mana! That's what I've decided!"  
"I don't care about the Fourteenth! I won't let him have this, stupid Shishou!"**  
_

_Lavi was jerked back; he'd heard his door open and close lightly - however as of yet he hadn't felt the presence of his usual guest. "... Allen?"_

_The sound of something hitting the ground caught his attention then, forcing the redhead to spin in his chair abruptly. His eyes took in the scene slowly, gaining an edge of concern. Allen was indeed there - however was in a slump on the ground in front of the door, simply staring off into space in shock. Timcampy was fluttering about madly around the boy's head, utterly disoriented. The golem seemed to match Allen - both were there, yet clearly had left their minds elsewhere. Lavi found himself watching, silently taking in the rare scene._

_"Allen, is something ... ?" His voice grew quiet.  
_

_A tear slipped down, falling from Allen's cheek, which was the factor that sent the Bookman-to-be into action. Lavi was on his feet and preparing to kneel in a matter of seconds, hand reaching out to cup the cheek of the other boy. "Allen? What's wrong?"_

_Lavi's voice shook, something he quickly corrected. Allen had never come here like this before. He'd seen Allen in a stupor, knocked out of his game from something he'd learned ... but never like this. Allen wasn't someone who generally flaunted, or shared, his confusion or stress with others; but here Allen was, like this, in his room and to be honest ... it scared him. It made him feel cold. Something about this whole thing was terribly wrong. _

_His previous question was left unanswered, the Bookman simply waiting the silence out a moment longer before moving. He cupped his partner's chin and attempted to pry it upwards, "Allen, look here ..." His voice died out again, the silver eyes locking with his own sending a shiver down his spine. They looked ... empty. Allen was still in an unknown shock, staring through the redhead at something unknown. ... That annoyed him, being around something unknown. Especially when someone else knew it - and that someone else was a golden golem._

_"Allen ..." Lavi's voice shifted, lowering to a soothing tempo.  
_

_Allen seemed to respond to this finally, eyes slipping from the unknown shock and into a state of sadness and confusion. Timcampy equally changed his demeanor, instead of swooping above the boy's head in panic he moved to hovering about the room - aloof. Allen shuddered suddenly, tears falling from his eyes in a sharp oncoming wave. His eyes locked on the worried green one, searching it for something - anything that Lavi knew that he didn't. "Shishou ... Lavi ... his blood was ... he wasn't there ... Tim couldn't even ..."_

_Lavi stared, lip set in a hard line. "Allen, you aren't making any sense. What about Cross, and Tim?" He looked to the golem, as if maybe he could give some clarification. No - Timcampy was still hovering about, attention focused on something unknown. The redhead turned back to Allen, head tilting in confusion. Since when did he get worked up like **this** about Cross? Generally it was a reaction of depression and utter hate, not this. "And blood? Calm down, breathe, and then try telling me again, eh?"_

_"Shishou!" Allen snapped, voice shaking. "Tim suddenly flew off to his room, and when we got there ... blood was everywhere. Shishou's mask and Judgment were covered in blood! Komui-san was ... and the broken window ... Shishou wasn't there, Lavi!"_

_Lavi simply stared, watching the intense panic in front of him. ... It scared the shit out of him - seeing Allen like this, so flustered that he couldn't properly make sentences ... his proper way of speaking was even gone. "Allen ..." His voice was gentle, attempting to calm the boy down. His eyes grew, the weight of the other boy falling onto his shoulders fully setting in. He stilled, simply allowing the whitehead to cry into his shirt. What was he supposed to say? What could he say? ... He was terrible at this emotional thing._

**_He didn't know how to comfort anyone._**

_Lavi bit his lower lip, arms wrapping around the younger exorcist softly. He needed to do something, say something; he couldn't stand hearing this. "Allen, I ..." His words trailed off, shoulders slumping before the redhead sank into a sit on his bottom. He gripped the boy, pulling him into his lap as he leaned back against his door. His head fell, arms cradling the shivering male to his torso, before burying itself into the mass of white hair. He didn't know what to say - he had nothing to say - he didn't know how to do this ..._

_"Cry all you need to, Allen ..." His eyes dropped, drooping as the redhead fell silent. All he could do was hold Allen and let him cry - he didn't know what else to do._

---

Lavi stared off, brows twitching in annoyance. He was suddenly agitated. Agitated at the fact he was thinking back on such things in the presence of Bookman, and the fact he still hadn't the slightest clue about what Cross had meant during the meeting that night. Bookman had yet to tell him - and it wasn't because he hadn't pressed the matter. He'd pressed, and probed endlessly to no avail. He hadn't gotten any closer to what the old man had understood, that he'd skipped over.

"Say Jijii ..."

"What? Staring like a dullard ..." Bookman spoke between mouthfuls of food; he'd been watching the younger clan member, silently waiting on the questions he knew the boy would ask.

"I haven't seen Cross-gensui at all since that night, you know?" Lavi's hand dropped, head lifting slightly from the low slump it had been over his food tray. His bad posture remained, shoulders low and back unaligned; something that would bother him later on. He'd been thinking over the implications of Cross' words from that night, along with the words of the old man sitting in font of him. He wanted to know what was going on - he hated being out of the loop, skipping over details. It made him feel ignorant.

He couldn't stand that.

"True enough." Bookman passed his words off nonchalantly, and continued eating.

"And for some reason the guys from the Order still seem to think he's still off on his trip to Central ... ?"

"True enough."

Lavi's brow twitched. This wasn't getting him any damn where. "So he's not here?"

"I daresay not." Bookman filled his mouth once more.

"So where did he go?"

Bookman seemed to ignore the question, mouth stilling abruptly.

"Jijii ... you realized something that day, right?" Lavi spoke evenly, voice almost unemotional. He was getting somewhere ... maybe. "You seemed all worked up and stuff ... since you heard him say that ..."

_**"There's more to this war than it seems."**_

Bookman remained silent, swallowing slowly. He didn't seem to want to give out any information at all - and that was something that was annoying his heir.

Lavi was getting agitated, slowly, but getting there nonetheless. "What did you realize?" He was pressing - he would find out what in the hell was going on here.

"I should think ... that Cross Marian will not be returning to the Order." Bookman paused, thinking his words over. "Always assuming that is ... that he safely escaped and he still lives."

Lavi stared in shock; partially from the words the old man spoke and partially from the fact he'd actually spoken at all. "Escaped? ... From who ... ?!"

His questions went unanswered, leaving the boy searching his own mind for the answers. Then they clicked, eyes growing abruptly. "... Don't tell me ..."

"We should move with caution. Both you and I, having borne witness to that scene, may also be in danger."

---

"... Let's go, Tim."

"Don't you want any cake?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Allen paused, waiting for the golden golem to float over and perch on his shoulder.

He hated coming into this place, and he hated the man that sat in the chair to his right nearly as much. It was bad enough coming here before his master had disappeared ... and now it was even worse. Not only did he have to track Timcampy down at least twice a day, but it had to be in this room. He knew why - and that's why it bothered him so much. Tim missed Cross ... and so did he.

He, however, didn't understand why that man was here - he hated that man almost as much as the Vatican. Almost as much as he hated coming into this room.

"Allen Walker ..."

Allen paused, huffing lowly. He'd managed to nearly get out the door.

"Was it perhaps you who killed Cross Marian? Mr. Fourteenth?"

Allen's eyes narrowed in rage, head yanking about so they could lock with those of the sitting Secretary. How dare he ... "Or perhaps it was you? Secretary." His voice was pure venom, eyes glaring the man down.

Allen gripped the door handle, walking out and yanking it roughly before slamming it. He'd managed to get a few steps away before he'd heard it crack - something that nearly made him crack a smile. Nearly. He was in a bad mood - not that he'd been in the best mood before. At least before he'd entered that room he'd been in a tolerable mood, and now all sign of that tolerable mood was gone. He felt Timcampy shift on his shoulder, taking a moment to look to the golden golem. He still wasn't eating properly, and was retaining his usual size. Allen had hope that the golem wouldn't switch to eating more than normal, and would stay in his current size ... then again he never had much luck unless he cheated. Maybe he could hide the food from Tim; he could get a bit of pay back that way. When he was working to pay off all the debt, and keep himself fed, Timcampy was allowed to eat all he wished along with that redheaded demon of a ...

How long had it been since his master disappeared?

He'd lost exact count of days since then, along with the days he'd butted heads with those supposedly 'investigating' the incident. He didn't trust those people, nor did he trust their speculations about the disappearance of Cross Marian.

Allen rounded a corner, eyes locked on something unknown stretching out in front of him.

_**"What would you do if I told you, you'll have to kill someone you love ... when you become the Fourteenth ... ?"**_

What had his master meant that night? He'd been trying to figure it out since then, and he'd had no luck at all. He'd have to kill someone he loved ... in the end someone he loved would ...

"Keep walking while you're spaced out and you'll walk into a wall."

Allen paused, attention drawn away from his thoughts by the familiar, coy voice. Lavi was hovering, partially in the door of the library. He was in uniform, at least his exorcist uniform; which was something rare to see the man in when he was supposed to be resting. His new headscarf was hanging around his neck, hair down and looking as if it hadn't been brushed this morning. However the thing that bugged Allen was the fact his arm was out of it's sling - something that was clearly not good at all. a broken arm couldn't heal that fast; his ribs could heal in about four weeks ... but his arm could not.

Allen sighed, "Keep ignoring your injuries and they'll only get worse."

"Nah, I'm fine."

Allen stared, that was something he highly doubted. He wouldn't push it further though, at least not at the moment. "Are you working? I'm surprised the medical staff have not barred your door and windows."

Lavi smiled, shrugging softly as if it were totally unimportant. "Yeah, I'm working ... what about you? You look like you're ready to beat someone's ass."

Allen thought a moment; beat someone's ass? Maybe. Scream and throw someone off of a cliff? Yeah, that sounded a bit more accurate. "Stressful situations as of late, nothing unusual."

Lavi stared, clearly not believing his words for a moment. This was something Allen took note of, and something he was sure he'd be pestered about later on when the Bookman-to-be was free. Allen watched the redhead look into the library a moment, hesitating with a sigh before Lavi turned his attention back towards him.

"I won't hold you up any more, but please put your arm back into your sling. It won't heal properly without it, which will only cause you to annoy anyone in earshot with complaints."

Lavi laughed, "Me? Annoy everyone to death? When have I ever?"

"Frequently - it's something you enjoy quite a lot actually."

The redhead grinned, letting another gentle laugh escape before turning on his heel. "Fine, fine. I'll see you later then." He tossed a wave over his shoulder before vanishing behind the large closing door.

Allen remained, staring at the door a moment. Lavi wouldn't put the sling back on - he knew that for a fact; to be honest he wondered why he'd even bothered drawing attention to the matter. When it came to arguments about physical aliments, the Bookman-to-be always tended to win. It didn't matter if it was him getting out of taking better care of himself, or if it was Allen who was being reprimanded for doing the exact same thing. Only one thing was set in stone in those arguments - Lavi was allowed to goof off on his health while he, Allen, was not.

Allen sighed; if it was risky for Lavi to not be wearing the sling Bookman would beat the male into the thing. It always happened; Bookman wouldn't allow Lavi to do anything that would put his health or lifespan at a dire risk. That was one thing he was sure of, actually the only thing that kept his mind at ease when he and Lavi got into those 'arguments'. If Lavi wasn't capable of handling it, or it had a negative effect on him, then Bookman wouldn't allow it. Lavi was required to be alive to carry on the clan - something even he understood - and to be quite honest it sometimes gave him a sense of relief when he needed it.

It was often a passing relief, but it was a relief nonetheless.

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Allen winced, perfect his stomach was already starting. He'd eaten earlier this morning ... and he hadn't since. Pulling his hands into his pockets he started forwards, heading for the cafeteria. Timcampy fluttered from Allen's shoulder, reacting to the sudden outburst and change in direction. He seemed antsy - something Allen passed off as usual behavior as of late. Ever since that night the golem spent his time trying to detect the missing Gensui, something that never worked out correctly at all. Tim never found him, but he never ceased attempting to locate the man who created him. It was an almost depressing show of affection from the little golem.

"Tim! Ow!"

Allen glared up, eyes locking on the fluttering ball in annoyance. Tim had settled onto his head, and had nipped him in an attempt to hurry him up. Unfortunately it seemed Allen's worst fear was becoming true - the golem was slipping from an non-eating depression to a twenty-four hour eating one. The exorcist mentally groaned, "You can only eat the usual amount. No more, okay?"

He was ignored completely as the golem returned to hovering forward above his head.

Allen sighed; he didn't know why but he had a fleeting feeling that today was going to be exceptionally long.

---

"So you guys haven't found anything more about that egg?"

Komui - head of the Science Department - sighed, hands kneading his temples gingerly. "Unfortunately, no. We've been looking at it for weeks and nothing new has been discovered about it."

Lavi groaned; he'd been searching tirelessly through records of his own, Bookman, and the entire library that resided in the Order for days and he was in the exact same boat. He'd found nothing he hadn't already known, though he did find that a lot of the Order's books were clearly not up-to-date. Not that he was surprised - he knew way more about what was recorded in those books too. "Hevlaska find anything?"

"The egg itself isn't Innocence, so she isn't able to tell us anything about it that we didn't already know." Komui's voice was nearly as stressed as the redheaded exorcist. His whole department was breaking their backs to find something in the artifact that simply just wasn't **there**. His office was a ghost of it's former self; sure he'd had it filled to bursting with incomplete work before, but this was insane. You could barely get the door open from all the stacks of files, and boxes.

"Virgil was only known to be mildly educated in medicine and astronomy - both things he abandoned for philosophy and poetry. There just are no records of him even attempting to create something like that." Lavi's voice was drawn thin, the stress of the situation finally visible on the eighteen-year-old. He was in the same boat as Komui - he was looking for something that just wasn't **there**. The only difference is that he'd known it wasn't there even before he'd began the search. He was looking over records, both hidden and public, to satisfy his own annoyance - not to mention Bookman's qualms. He knew he hadn't missed anything, his memory hadn't missed anything, but he couldn't face himself easily with this. For something this huge to be missing in his records wasn't allowed - especially when it was something from centuries past. It was a new discovery, but there should have been evidence of it before.

The fact that there simply wasn't was driving him mad.

"Does the egg give of any distinct sound patterns when it's 'invoked'?"

Komui's head shook, "Nothing abnormal. It's as if the egg were the host Virgil himself - it functions normally."

Lavi took a breath, hands running over his hair in a mild attempt to tame it. The result was only making it stick out more. "Okay. Let's go over the facts one more time."

The whole room seemed to sigh, and despite himself Lavi joined in. This was getting them no where.

Komui popped open a folder in his lap, adjusting his glasses momentarily before clearing his throat. Here came the same report he'd been delivering for days - one that he nearly knew by heart. "It seems the egg is a device, or a weapon, that is capable to harness the Innocence and 'invoke' it. The sound patterns that are released from the egg have an adverse reaction on Akuma. The Level Ones are eradicated, Level Two's are greatly weakened, Level Three's are mildly weakened, and Level Fours would just be annoyed to death. The egg is only able to use the Innocence that was found within it - we attempted to place one of the Innocence shards we had prior to gaining the egg within it and it would not function. How this egg was made is still unknown, as well as exactly how it functions." The man paused, as if catching his breath before continuing. "We're still attempting to recreate the device, but have had no success as of now."

Lavi listened, all words he knew about the damn thing. "Any luck on what it's made out of?"

"It's an unknown alloy that was encased in Gold, then decorated with jewels. We think this decoration was an attempt to mask the identity of the weapon as a simple treasure."

The redhead sighed, already tired of talking about the thing. "Alright, thanks. If Jijii, or I find anything we'll be sure to tell you."

Komui sighed as well, standing from his depressing slump on the only clean spot upon the floor. "Very well, good luck. Until then this meeting is closed."

Lavi remained a moment, watching as the few members of the Science Department that had been present departed, and headed back to their increasing workload. Komui turned his attention back to the open box of files on his right, reaching to take a sip of his coffee before setting into a rhythm of reading over the mission reports. Everyone was pulling double duty - everything was being piled on at once.

"Komui ... aren't Yuu and Linali supposed to be leaving this afternoon?"

The Chief looked up a moment, nodding softly. "Ah, they're getting ready for departure as we speak." He took another sip of his coffee before returning to reading the stack of papers within his hands.

Lavi stared; Komui was having a hard time lately. He looked as if he wasn't getting much sleep. "Ah." The redhead turned on his heel, tossing a wave over his shoulder before exiting. He paused a moment, hovering at the doorway with a look of disgust.

He had the sinking feeling that things were going to speed up from here on out.

His hands lifted, arms folding gingerly behind his head before he started forwards. Bookman had left after breakfast this morning, heading to back to Naples to search around a bit before paying a visit to the clan. The old man had hopes that he could locate something pertaining to the egg found by his heir - and as a last resort was to speak with the clan about any unknown information. What this, in a nutshell, had told Lavi was simple. Bookman was just as agitated by this thing as he was, but it wasn't the only thing on his mind. Bookman had been rather open with information lately ... and that was something suspicious. The fact that he'd only had to pester the man a few times this morning before getting him to crack was unsettling.

Something was most certainly up; Bookman saw something coming that he didn't - and Lavi really didn't like it.

Lavi took a breath, huffing as he rounded a corner. The words the old man had spoken this morning had left a sour taste in his mouth too - he didn't like the feeling that someone was possibly plotting to take him out. Not that he would let it happen, but it was still annoying to think someone would try. It was like he was being underestimated, then again that could be the very thing that saved his neck in the end. Speaking of his neck ... it was killing him. His hand tugged, pulling on the aching muscles. He'd been laying in a chair in the library previous to speaking with Komui; his neck had been arched downwards and nearly hidden by an open book. His back had been, as usual, out of alignment. "Man, I can't sit like that in a chair anymore."

His eyes lit up, a grin spreading across his face suddenly. He'd found someone to annoy, someone he hadn't annoyed in quite a while at all. The redhead quickened his pace, throat clearing softly. "Oi, Yuu!"

He was ignored.

Okay, that was fine. Lavi grinned, hands slipping from their casual stance behind his head. His fingers wiggled, reaching out as he closed the space between he and the Japanese swordsman. Finally his hands grasped the man's long ponytail and then with a snide giggle he yanked roughly. That got him an instant response.

"Lavi!" Kanda spun on his heel, hands gripping his unsheathed blade tightly.

Lavi smirked, hands still wrapped around the male's hair. "See, Yuu? You should listen to others more often."

Kanda's blade flew upwards, pressing against the throat of the Bookman-to-be threateningly. "Don't call me that, damn it!"

A larger grin appeared, Lavi reaching to press the blade away casually. "Come on, don't be like that Yuu!"

"Go to hell you damn, useless, Usagi!" Kanda snapped, blade swinging abruptly.

Lavi ducked, laughing hysterically before dodging the man's downswing. He turned on his heel, stepping away a few feet before returning to his slow lope towards the library. "Take care, Yuu!" He tossed a wave over his shoulder, watching as the other eighteen-year-old growled and sheathed his blade. Kanda then turned, apparently he'd decided that backtracking was better than following along with the redhead.

Lavi stretched, content for the moment. At least he was until his shoulder popped, pulling a wince from the redhead. His arm was well enough, but it was still tender; something he was making sure to keep Allen in the dark about. ... Speaking of Allen, was he still busy? Lavi looked to his arm, as if checking a nonexistent watch. He'd been in the library for about three hours, and then had managed to waste a good hour in Komui's office talking about things that everyone already knew. So Allen should be ...

**_Avoid making ties that aren't easy to sever, Lavi. We're only here temporarily._**

His thoughts trailed off and he paused, brows furrowing and mouth setting into a soft line. That had been on his mind as well, it always was on his mind. It didn't matter what he needed to do, or how much his brain was working on overdrive - those thoughts always lurked in the back and plagued him like a festering ulcer. The slightest thing could set them off into an all out attack of pain that wouldn't allow him any peace. How long could he keep this up? How long could he keep walking two paths that could never coexist? ... That was what scared him. In the end he knew he'd have to make a choice between the two; he'd have to choose between the life of Bookman Jr, and the life of Lavi. ... And in the end he didn't know if he'd be able to choose.

Both paths held things that were dear to him - things that he just simply couldn't give up.

"Watch where in the hell you're going, damn Moyashi!"

"You're the one who ran into me, Ba-Kanda!"

"Ugh! Allen-kun! Kanda-kun! Stop fighting! Is that how you want to remember one another if anything happens?!"

"Why would I want to remember him!?" The first two voices nearly screamed in unison.

The three voices caught his attention, pulling Lavi's eyes over the edge and to the level below - across the way. Kanda and Allen were holding a blade to each others throats, and Linali was desperately scolding them. Lavi smiled softly, leaning on the railing in front of him. _How could he leave them behind?_ ... His brows furrowed once more, that was exactly the problem. **He couldn't**.

"Apologize, damn it!" Kanda hissed, blade pressing against that of the British male.

"Screw you!" Allen snapped, his own blade returning the push.

"Ugh! You two, stop it!" Linali begged, hands nearly yanking her hair out.

Lavi chuckled, the scene relaxing him for a moment. "Mah - You should be used to it Linali, they go at it like an old married couple."

All three pairs of eyes shot over, locking on the redhead male who'd yelled at the scene. Allen and Kanda glared, "Butt out Lavi!"

Linali sighed in defeat, "Lavi-kun you'll just make it worse ..."

Lavi grinned, shrugging. "If you don't hurry along you'll make yourself and Linali late, Yuu!"

Kanda glared, however paused to think about the insinuation before reluctantly pulling away. He sheathed his blade, pushing past Allen roughly. "Tch."

Lavi laughed, watching the female exorcist turn her attention back towards him. She smiled, which he returned with a nod, before mouthing 'Thank you.' Lavi nodded, waving softly as the small girl broke into a run after the fleeing swordsman. He watched her a moment, eyes finally turning to catch those of the one left on the opposite side - Allen. He'd pissed him off; Allen was glaring, arms crossed in annoyance.

Lavi grinned, tongue dipping out playfully. "Careful - your face will get stuck like that, Allen!"

"Stupid Lavi!" The sixteen-year-old hissed before turning and walking off in the opposite direction.

Lavi laughed softly, eye drooping contently as he pushed himself up via the railing. No - He couldn't leave any of them behind ... he cared about them all far too much. His head slipped to rest in his hands, eyes closing in thought.

When had he gotten so damn biased?

He used to see them all the same - annoying, stupid, humans. Humans were ignorant creatures; they went on about wanting to live peacefully but there was always war. That's all Humans knew - war and suffering. Every civilization started and ended in the same fashion: blood, death, and war. His brows shoveled together, eyes tightening roughly. His memory was flashing with all of them - every single one of their faces. Those dead, those alive - all he'd known his whole life.

He was used to this now - they all haunted him. They were always there - he'd just never cared to notice them. He'd never seen them as anything but stupid pieces of history that he recorded. Until he'd come here ... until he'd come to the Order.

**_They're all the same - you should know that by now, Lavi._**

No. These humans here were different ... and that's what had drug him to this point.

---

_"Lavi!"_

_"Lavi!"_

_"Lavi!  
_

**_These are ... illusions._**

_"That's right, illusions. __We are the written down history named with ink on paper as 'Humans'.__" Bookman's voice broke through the chorus of voices, "Ink doesn't speak to the writer. Every time you leave a trail of ink, does your heart grieve for each one?"_

_"Tch ... For an illusion you're annoying as hell, Jijii." Lavi glowered, slightly agitated as he clung to Linali. He was ignoring the constant chorus of his name - ignoring the stench in the air._

_"Haha ... it's because I stay true to your memories." Bookman stared, "However you feel that it's noisy because you're thinking of these things as ink ... What is our **duty** to the **clan**, Lavi?"_

_"Stop it." Lavi's brows pressed together._

_"No matter what you cast aside you live for the sake of that one thing. Outside the framework of the world, the ones who continue to live on are we Bookmen."_

_"La-Lavi?"_

_The redhead's attention jerked down to lock on Linali._

_"Am I ... still in this world?"_

_Lavi jerked back, pulling away from the small girl as she brought the dagger in her hand down. He winced, headscarf tearing from the blade's impact before floating to rest on the rippling ground. _

_"Lavi ..." Linali spoke softly, clinging to the dagger with shaking hands. "Lavi why ..." She pressed upwards into a shaky stand to stare the boy down. "Why are you throwing us away ... ?"_

_"Why Lavi?!"_

_"Why!?"_

_"Lavi!"_

_"Why are you saying that we aren't comrades ... ?" Linali stared on, voice shaking._

_Lavi winced, the chorus growing louder within his ears. Why were the female exorcists words burning? ... His chest felt heavy._

_"We aren't just ink on top of paper!" Linali screamed, charging._

_Lavi growled, sending the girl flying with a punch backwards before dodging the rest of the approaching bodies._

_**They're illusions. These are illusions!**_

_He turned his attention to an unsheathed knife resting on top of a closed coffin. He grabbed it, eyes clenching closed tightly._

_"The way to survive is to drive through them ... Mow through them, **Lavi**."_

_Lavi charged; his eyes would be a hindrance. He'd keep them closed. He gripped the handle slashing roughly before continuing on._

_"What are you doing, Lavi?!"_

_He plowed farther, slashing. Ignore them - ignore the voices. They were just illusions - they didn't matter. He had to ignore them ..._

_"WHY, LAVI?!_

_**He had to get away from this place.**_

"You are ... of the Bookman lineage, aren't you?"

"Welcome to the Black Order; I'm **Komui Lee**, the Science Section Leader.

_Lavi froze, teeth clenching. Of all times for his damn photographic memory to kick in ... damn it._

"Coffins ... a funeral service, huh? ... I'd say about a hundred have left."

"The ones still alive are injured as well ... and there's an intense smell of antiseptic." His eyes searched, looking over the coffins lining the ground. "This is ... a **lost battle** isn't it?"

He froze, the heavily wounded female he'd located had turned. Her eyes were locked with his - Linali was crying.

**_'Lavi' was the 49th alias ... with just what number the alias was, I went and viewed battles.  
The 'Hidden History' is handed down from person to person, and is excluded from historical fact.  
'You know something that no one knows.'  
_**

**_With just that I accepted becoming a Bookman._**

_"Stop it!" Lavi screamed, blade swinging in an attempt to wipe the images from his mind._

_**However.**_

"No matter where we go it's just battles, battles, battles." He sighed, "I get it already ... humans are stupid."

Bookman stared, "... Lavi."

_"Stop it!' Lavi winced; he couldn't stand seeing this. _

"There's trouble brewing"

He sighed, "Yeah, yeah this is our room to sleep in for now." His eyes searched around, lips mumbling something about the mountain of books covering the large room.

He smiled, "Let's be frivolous and friendly like always."

_Lavi winced again, the scene already changing. His teeth clenched, biting into his lips._

"Body size?"

He stared, mouth half full as he ate beside Linali. "Nothing in particular, any would be okay."

"With the right uniform it will improve your earned run average!" Johnny held a tape measure in his hand, "And it really will make your movements easier, and will definitely be useful in the war with the Akuma! ... Do you want a bandanna made too?"

"Lavi wouldn't suit a long coat like Kanda's."

"Huh?"

"He doesn't suit being a Bookman either! Hahaha!"

"Whatever Johnny, just stop sitting on the table!"

He stared, "Aren't your eyes glittering ... ?"

Linali chuckled, "Everyone wants to protect you since you've become our comrade, Lavi."

_**From all the battles I've seen, this war with the demons is the biggest one.**_

_**It was the first time I had a record of becoming a soldier.**_

He grinned, "Then - make a cool bandanna for me!"

"Alright!" Johnny grinned.

_**Someday, these guys too ... Will probably be excluded from history.**_

"An 'Exorcist', huh?" He stared at the sky, "Even if I had hope, it ain't happening."

_Lavi dodged again, deflecting an attack from one of the many charging him. He'd lost himself in the replaying of his memories, skidding to a stop in an attempt to catch his breath._

_**One year ... Two years ... Time within the order passed on.**_

_**I soon came to a point where I didn't know whether my smiling face was a lie or not.**_

_"Stop it ...!" Lavi's voice shook, hand pulling to hide his visible eye. He was exhausted ... his chest felt so damn heavy._

_**Jijii's words ... **_

"Don't be taken in by the war!"

"We're only on the Order's side 'by chance', all for the sake of recording history!"

_**... made me feel pain.**_

_"Stop it ... !" Lavi's voice rose in a yell, hands flying to cup his ears. "Don't look inside ... !"_

_His attention was caught then, an Ace of Spades slipping from his pocket to land daintily on the water's surface. He watched it ripple, mind silent for the first time. A hand slipped into his view, grasping the card._

_"I dropped this ..."_

_Lavi's eyes shot up, locking on the white headed boy in front of him._

_Allen stared at the card, "You kept quiet about this to Bookman and held onto it for me."_

_Another hand smashed into his view, blood and pulp sprouting from the British male's head. Lavi stared, hand open and partially outstretched in front of him. His mouth lay open in shock ... his chest felt so god damn heavy._

_"What's with your reaction?"_

_Lavi stared at the fallen corpse, trying to catch his breath. He wasn't hearing **his** voice; his attention was focused elsewhere ... Allen ..._

_"This is just a lump of ink ... Lavi."_

_Lavi's breathing came out sharper; he would ignore **his** voice._

_"You can't keep quite and just watch anymore, right? ... You're a failure."_

_"La ... vi ..."_

_Lavi stared, eyes locked on the hand holding the Ace of Spades. His breathing was quickening more - his lungs felt like they were about to collapse. ... His body went cold then, three blades piercing his flesh._

_Kanda. Linali. Krory._

_Lavi ignored it, eyes locked on the fading card. A sharp cough erupted from his lips, blood and bile filling his mouth._

_**Lavi ... you aren't a Bookman anymore.**_

_Lavi felt himself slipping, chest caving in._

_"**You** are a failure as a Bookman, **Lavi**."_

_Lavi stared, eyes locked on the falling playing card. He would ignore **his** voice._

_"Don't worry, even if **you** die Bookman won't become extinct. **Because I am the real you**. **I **will succeed the role of Bookman, and **you** will vanish ... **Lavi**."_

_Lavi watched, the blank playing card hitting the water abruptly. He felt himself falling then, the only thing holding him up - keeping him moving forward - had been that card.  
_

---

Lavi gripped the card in his back pocket, face buried in his folded arm. His body felt cold; he'd always hated seeing his own moments of weakness ... but that memory. He hated that memory; He hated the fear that he'd have to face that again.

"Lavi?"

A voice knocked him from his thoughts with a start, forcing the male to spin on his heel suddenly. He met the set of gray eyes, and they instantly grew with concern.

Allen stared a moment, reaching out tentatively. "Lavi ... ?"

Lavi ignored the worry in his partner's voice, ignored the eyes probing him - seeking an answer for the pained expression they'd seen on his face. He reached out, grabbing the small male and pulled him into his chest roughly. He didn't care who happened to be around, or who saw his action.

Allen stared, allowing himself to be hugged roughly. Normally he'd have said something, but normally Lavi wouldn't have been shaking. He felt the redhead pull him tighter, "Lavi, are you alright?"

Lavi ignored the question, face burying into the mass of white hair. "Ah ... just let me borrow your shoulders a second, Allen ..." ... That memory. The one thing he hated more than the fear of that damn memory ...

He hated the fear that _**he**_ may end up winning this time.

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Shishou** - master.

**Gensui** - general.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.

**Usagi** - rabbit.

**Moyashi** - beansprout.


	7. Recession

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Seven_** - **_**Recession  
**_

If he had to attend one more meeting with that man, he was going to scream.

Allen slammed the door, more out of frustration than dramatic effect, before shoving his hands into his pockets. He headed down the corridor, ignoring the glances that he'd earned from the few Order members lining the hall. He hated having to meet with those Vatican fools enough as it was, but having to do so with that man - Secretary Levrier - was enough to send him over the edge of insanity. He was close enough to that edge as it was, and he needed no help from anyone else to jump off of that thin cliff into the muddled ocean below. He could manage that much all on his own, thank you.

"Not now, Tim." Allen snapped, hissing lowly at the small golem's reaction. He'd been bitten again, something he was used to but nonetheless annoyed by.

The golem had begun to eat once more, good and bad news. He'd gained about five pounds in two days - talk about power eating. Timcampy could nearly eat more than Allen now ... _nearly_. His anxiety over the missing Gensui was one thing, but the food hogging was going a bit extreme. The golem seemed to puff, as if agitated, as he floated on forwards beside Allen. Apparently he'd gotten the message that his stand-in master was angry ... he didn't have to like it though.

Allen shrugged around a corner, ignoring the greetings as he pressed between two scientists. He wasn't in the mood to be sociable, he wasn't in the mood to eat, and he most certainly wasn't in the mood to be harassed. As if a sixth sense had grown since he'd arrived at the Order the sixteen-year-old turned mechanically another corner, just missing Kanda as he turned onto the hall. Had Allen not taken the turn he was sure that the confrontation would have ended in either he or the Idiotic man loosing a limb, or a massive amount of blood. Not that venting his frustration wouldn't have been nice, but he'd wait to vent it in another way. A way he was sure would end with a hole in the wall of his room.

Not only was he being treated like the Vatican's damn slave - Lavi was making him crazy. Since he'd found him with that look on his face in the hallway the day before, Allen had been unable to shake the worry building up in his chest. Lavi wasn't someone you found with a look like that - **ever**. Lavi wasn't someone that, even if he was feeling down, would show that face to the outside world. He would smile, laugh it off, and proceed with annoying you to death. That was just how Lavi was - how he was made up. Lavi didn't like showing weakness, Lavi didn't like others knowing things about him, and Lavi most certainly did **not** hug him in the hall, in plain view of everyone and their Grandmother. Lavi was a know-it-all, not a show-it-all.

Allen faltered a moment, stopping short and causing Timcampy to run into the back of his head. He didn't notice, his mind was thinking back to that look he'd seen on Lavi's face. ... He'd looked terrified, as if in the next few seconds something horrifying was going to happen. It didn't though; nothing happened. Lavi had only leaned on him for about 30 seconds, and then had pulled away to walk down the hall towards the library. No one had seen them, but most importantly no one had seen that look other than Allen. Immediately that look had sent him for a loop, knocking him off his game and making him forget what insult he was about to speak when the redhead had turned. ... Most importantly that look had scared him. Allen's brows joined in annoyance, teeth biting down on his lower lip. That look on Lavi's face had been so unnatural - it didn't belong there. A smile belonged on that face - a big, stupid, and totally sure of himself smile. Not that look - not that helpless, frozen, and pained grimace.

Lavi hadn't said anything about that look. He hadn't explained it, and it wasn't because Allen hadn't asked. Allen had asked him many times; in fact they'd gotten into about three yelling matches because Lavi wouldn't answer. He refused that anything was wrong - he'd only been thinking ... Allen wasn't that stupid.

Allen growled, left fist crashing, sideways, into the wall out of frustration. Sometimes he felt like beating that man to an inch of his life, and sometimes that feeling conflicted with an equal desire to simply pull him into his arms and hold him. It drove him crazy, apparently he wasn't allowed to ask what in the hell was wrong with the man he shared his bed with. Oh yes - that clarification, and freedom from worry, was too much to ask for; _of course_. Allen bit down on his lip harsher, fist clenching tighter. He couldn't feel his fingers, they were numb, but at the moment he didn't care. He wasn't allowed to keep anything from Lavi, but apparently Lavi didn't have to tell him anything. Now most of the time, Allen didn't mind speaking his mind ... but some things he just _didn't_ want to talk about. He didn't want to talk about his past, and he didn't want to talk about things concerning his Father. It wasn't that he didn't want Lavi to know - he just didn't want to have to relive them, didn't want to think about them.

.... Shit.

Allen pulled his hand up, kneading his temples roughly. He hadn't thought about this, something he'd beat himself up for later.

Maybe Lavi **had** been thinking ... thinking of something he really didn't want to be thinking of. Thinking of something he didn't want to think of again.

Allen sighed, pushing himself forward. His head was beginning to join the rest of his aching body, stress was taking it's tole today. He reached out, gripping the handle of a familiar door. The sixteen-year-old paused then, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Finally he allowed himself to enter, not taking the time to look about the room until after he'd closed and locked the door behind himself. His eyes shifted upwards, nose taking in the welcoming scent of parchment and sandalwood. That was the first thing he'd noticed, the first thing he always noticed. The smell that only that man had - it faded from his room sometimes, clouded over from dust when the Bookman-to-be was away - but it was always there.

His searched the room, taking note that as of late books had began to cover most - if not all - of it. They were in piles; some stacked and some simply tossed to the side, carelessly, left open. The floor was no longer capable of being seen, and the only clear spaces in the room were the wicker chair positioned in front of the desk in the corner, and the bed. The desk was littered in books, paper, and writing utensils with barely enough room to even write upon it. The bed was surrounded by a moat of stacked publications and it's sheets were messily tangled up and tossed near the bed's head. The next thing that had caught his attention was the fact the curtains were drawn closed, and about fifteen candles were scattered - flickering - across the room as a source of light. Clearly Lavi was working as a Bookman this evening ... but where exactly the gentleman was, was still an unsolved mystery.

"Lavi?"

Allen spoke quietly, stepping over the mountains of books around the doorway. He would never understand how Lavi could live in this mobile library, much less how he managed to take all of it's contents around with him from place to place. Receiving no answer the younger exorcist ventured farther into the mess, dodging and weaving whilst attempting to keep his balance. The last was a very hard thing to manage indeed, something else he would never understand. Lavi was clumsier than your average person, and how he had managed to not break his neck in all of this was unimaginable.

"La- ..." His voice caught, fading off as his eyes locked on the man he'd been searching for. He stared, silent, taking in the sight in front of him.

Lavi was sprawled out behind a rather large stack of albums on his back, asleep. His hair was a mess, sticking out and covered in bits of torn paper, left to fall down into his eyes. The man's left hand was holding onto a book's spine, one that was opened and left to fall on top of his chest without a care. Some of the pages were already bent in awkward angles, signaling he'd been in the same position for at least an hour. None of this seemed strange, or out of place; nothing but the clothing he was wearing anyway. His exorcist uniform was nowhere to be seen, and instead he was dressed in his usual white pants and black tunic. Both of these articles of clothing were natural; as were the red hoops in either of his earlobes, the array of black bangles on his right wrist, the two silver rings on his right index and middle fingers, and the black lonely headscarf decorated solemnly with red around his neck. These were natural ... but the black, hooded, cloak that was being worn over his clothing was not.

He only wore that when he was not acting as Lavi. He only wore that when he was acting as Bookman Jr.

Allen hated that blank cloak - Lavi always looked strange with it on. He always looked so washed out, as if he were sick and in dire need of medical attention. Allen's eyes glanced over the sleeping male once again, taking in the details that he knew and loved past the cloak. He always made sure to memorize the clothing Lavi wore - all of them were unique and held thread patterns reminiscent of Ireland. A key factor in why Allen would always, other than the red hair and green eyes, see Lavi as an Irishman. The sixteen-year-old sighed; he'd asked Lavi once where he was from, only to be responded with the line of 'Can't say, really.'

If it was the simple fact that Lavi wasn't allowed to say, or because he didn't know himself, Allen wasn't sure.

Finally his vision rested on Lavi's face, taking note of his lover's slightly parted lips and crooked eye patch. A small smile crept up despite the cloak, Lavi always looked peaceful when asleep. Maybe that was why he felt at ease when he found him asleep - the worry of the man possibly being in pain, or stressed was forgotten and he was always left with a light heart. Lavi was fine, relaxed, and sleeping soundly - that was enough.

Lavi rolled, hand abandoning the book that had been resting on his chest, before curling into a small ball. His head bumped into the stack of books, rattling it lightly but otherwise leaving it undisturbed.

Chuckling Allen moved forward, stepping over carefully before reaching his lover and settling down beside him silently. He paused, allowing the eighteen-year-old to settle back into slumber before reaching over to lift the man's head. He'd noticed that the redhead's neck had been turned at an awkward angle, one that he was sure would cause him to wake up complaining. The younger exorcist scooted over, pushing a leg underneath the mass of rusty orange hair to work as a pillow. He stared down, brushing a few stray strands from the sleeping boy's lips. Lavi looked like a child - blissfully unaware of all going on around him and lost in a dream. Hopefully it wasn't a nightmare - Lavi had awoke from a nightmare before and had been covered in sweat, barely able to breathe. Allen had been unable to coax the dream's contents from the man but had concluded it had been a memory ... Lavi's dreams were always memories, or so he'd been told.

That was the only time that the eighteen-year-old's face had been even close to that look from the day before. Lavi had been startled when he'd woken from the dream, but unlike the other day hadn't been shaking - hadn't had such a look of heartbreaking terror. No, that look from when he'd had the nightmare had been nothing compared to the one the other day. Lavi hadn't looked like himself at all - he'd looked totally lost and confused. Lavi was never confused - **never**.

Allen's brows pressed into a hard line, head lowering so he could press his lips to his partner's forehead. If he ever saw that look again, he honestly didn't know if he could stand it. He was sure that he hadn't felt that scared, that worried, since the battle in the ark. For a moment he'd felt as if he'd lost Lavi and was incapable of getting him back - he'd been worried that he'd never see that stupid grin again. He'd been terrified, infuriated, and yet had been able to do absolutely _nothing_.

That look that he'd seen on Lavi's face the other day ... it made him feel the same way. Like he'd lost his Lavi for a moment, and had no way of getting him back.

---

_"Why aren't you listening to me, Allen?"_

_Allen watched utterly in shock as the female Noah rose, pulling the large sword from her body unscathed. He paid no attention to the redheaded male approaching him, or the invoked hammer that was being raised. He had been unable to break through to the Bookman with his voice. He had been unable to use his weapon's edge, he'd have hurt Lavi. His last hope had been that sword piercing Road, tearing her to pieces for what she was doing. That had been his only shot at getting Lavi back - and that had failed._

_"No matter how much even you try Allen, people's hearts can't be helped. Give it up already!"_

_A scream ripped from Allen's lips, the large salamander shaped funnel of flames crashing over him. Lavi had unleashed another Hi-Ban, and it had engulfed him greedily. **He deserved this for failing.**_

_"Allen-kun!" Linali screamed, fists beating against the walls of the box holding her captive. "Lavi-kun, stop it! Stop your flames!"_

_Allen ignored the small girl's screaming, his mind was elsewhere. He was trying to understand something - trying to figure out why he wasn't being burned. The flames surrounding him weren't hot._

_"Lavi-kun! I'm begging you, Lavi-kun!" Linali's voice fell on deaf ears, finally drifting off as she spotted the candles hovering in front of her. She stared, speechless a moment. They were melting - the flames were melting the candles._

_The flames weren't burning ... Allen's head snapped up, eyes wide as they took in the man holding the hammer-shaped Innocence._

_Lavi was frozen, body beginning to move mechanically. "What the ... my body is ..." The man's voice was strained, holding fear as it went on. "My body is moving by itself ... what is this?!" The small hammer was turning, the large black cross on it's top piercing the ground roughly._

_Allen stared, eyes growing. No - Lavi was not doing what he thought he was doing._

_"It's cause of my inexperience, I'll take the money for settling this fight for sure!" Lavi yelled, gaining the attention of a shocked Road as he clung to the small hammer. "Without the condition of fire! Hi-Ban!"_

_"Lavi!" Allen screamed, eyes large as the wall of flames engulfed the redheaded exorcist. His chest was heavy, his lungs wouldn't move - he couldn't breathe. His voice didn't sound right, it sounded desperate and pained; was that even his voice calling that man's name? It couldn't be ... He sounded so helpless, so much like a damn broken record. Linali's scream in the background wasn't registering, he didn't hear anything but the whirring of that cyclone of fire. He couldn't take his eyes off of it. _

_He had to do something even if he failed - he refused to let that man die.  
_

_"Crown Clown!" Allen reached out, grasping the large sword as it slipped into his palm roughly. His arm moved, instinct taking over to slice open the large salamander that had swallowed him. He dodged, landing on the box holding Linali for a split second; he hadn't heard the top of it crack and shatter - his mind was elsewhere. His mind was in that fire, desperately yelling at that idiot for being so damn selfish. He jumped, blade swinging to break through the flames before his hand followed, searching. If that damn idiot ..._

_"DAMN IT! I WON'T LET YOU DIE, LAVI!" His voice was cracking, a mix of desperation and anger. "LAVI!" _

_Linali stared, eyes filled with tears as the barrier holding her captive was lifted. "Lavi-kun ... Allen-kun ... ?" She nearly screamed when the two broke from the frozen flames, Allen pulling Lavi, sputtering and coughing before both fell backwards, hands at their windpipes._

_"It hurts to breathe!" Allen coughed, rolling onto his side shakily. That stupid damn idiot._

_"Ah ... I'm alive."_

_Allen growled, "What, you're complaining?!"_

_"You over did it there, Allen."_

_Allen nearly reached over to choke him, "Right back at you, Idiot!"_

_"I don't really get it ..." Lavi's voice was soft, almost nostalgic. "When I came to, everything was on fire ..."_

_Allen stared, eyes softening slowly at the man's words. Relief was starting to set it gradually, realization kicking in. Lavi was alive.  
_

_"Jijii would probably be mad though ... but I feel really good right now, somehow."_

_---_

A familiar smell was taunting his nose - sweat and honey. It was an awkward combination, clearly not supposed to be mixed, but it smelled wonderful. He knew this scent well, and he knew only one person on the planet had it. Allen.

Lavi opened his eyes, still partially asleep as he looked around at the candle-lit room. Apparently he'd been out longer than he'd wanted, but then again it had been the first sleep he'd had in about two days. He'd been up into the wee hours working, writing things that he needed to have done before Bookman returned. He'd also been pouring through his own history books in search of the answers that were eluding him as far as that egg was concerned. However, the egg and Bookman were the farthest things from his mind now - his attention was on the two gray eyes searching his face. Those and the worry that was clearly taking them over; his heart jerked softly, voice cracking. "You okay?"

"Just thinking ..."

Lavi winced, brows pressing together in concern. Allen's voice was off, as if he were holding back tears. The redhead lifted his hand, tilting the boy's chin down so he could see better. His eye grew, shocked, before pressing his finger to his lover's cheek. Allen _was_ close to crying, the only thing that was holding the tears back were his constantly blinking eyes. Lavi swallowed, concern growing more dominant. "Allen, what's wrong?"

"Promise me something ..." Allen stared, eyes frustrated. "Think about others feeling's once in a while before you do something reckless ..." His voice cracked, "Selfish Usagi."

Lavi stared, confused, as he sat up and turned to face the younger boy. His hands reached out, cupping either side of the British boy's cheeks. What was Allen talking about? "Did something happen?"

"Just promise, damn it!"

The redhead sighed, "Fine, fine. I promise, but I still don't get what in the hell you- ..." Lavi's voice trailed off, attention falling onto the mass of white hair that had launched into his chest. "Allen ..." He was more worried now than he'd been earlier. Lavi wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, pulling him into his lap. He still wasn't good at this whole comforting thing, but it wasn't as awkward as it had been the first time Allen had come to him upset. He was still scared, still slightly clueless, but still had the same desire to make Allen laugh. It didn't feel right when Allen was upset, not to mention it pissed him off. If it was someone's fault he had the urge to beat them senseless ... "What's wrong?"

"I thought ... I might be losing you again ..." Allen's voice was a ghost of it's former self, muffled by the black fabric he was hiding in.

Lavi shuttered, body going cold as the words sunk in. He couldn't stand that tone of voice - couldn't stand the fact Allen was worried about something like that. He couldn't stand that Allen had been handed a piece of this weight - this fear - smothering him. His lips pressed against the boy's forehead, arms tightening. The Bookman remained silent a moment, allowing the frustration to vanish before speaking. "Allen ... I'm not going anywhere."

**_Why did he sound like he was trying to convince himself again?_**

Allen gripped the black tunic, taking in the man's scent. He calmed slightly, relief rushing over him. He felt something strange then, something strange that gradually grew and had him laughing. "Lavi!" He yelled between laughs.

Lavi grinned, fingers skirting over the sixteen-year-old's sides faster. Tickling him had been a good idea after all - that tone was gone. "Hm?"

Allen growled, attempting to crawl away. "Damn it, Lavi!" He took a deep breath, his laughter contradicting his tone. "Stop it! I get it!" He took another sharp breath, "You're the same idiot!"

Lavi laughed, pining the boy on the ground before ceasing his attack. Good - he'd gotten all the weight back onto his own shoulders, right where it was supposed to be. He knew Allen far too well - he wanted to help everyone without a thought of his own well-being. That's why he refused to let him know when things were bothering him - Allen would over do it and end up making himself sick. Lavi pressed his nose against his lover's, "See? I'm not going anywhere."

Allen sighed, catching his breath, before smiling. "Thank you."

"No need for it." The redhead returned the smile, fingers claiming the gloved pair pinned against the ground. He took a deep breath, sighing contently before resting his forehead against the others. "How was your day?"

"Other than the horrible parts?" Allen stared, tone agitated suddenly.

Lavi laughed, "No, the horrible parts included."

"Slow and horrible."

"Oh so descriptive, aren't we?" Lavi chuckled, closing the space between their lips before the younger male could speak. He felt his shoulders relax, hand returning the soft squeeze it had received. He always loved this feeling - loved being held down out of the insanity of his wandering mind. It felt as if time had stopped, everywhere it was moving but in his room - it was as if Miranda had claimed it, locking he and Allen away from the rest of the world. His lips pulled away, head falling to rest against the crook of the white haired boy's neck. "Shall I buy you dinner in an attempt to make up for your day?" He paused thinking something over before smirking, "Or should I try something else?"

"Neither, thank you." Allen glowered, cheeks tinted a soft pink. If his hands were free - he'd have punched the man _and_ his innuendo.

"Mmhmm." Lavi wasn't paying any attention, his lips were already working their way around - planting soft kisses along the sixteen-year-old's neck.

"Lavi." Allen drug the name out, groaning. "I'm tired, behave." He spoke to the wandering right hand, already busying itself with unbuttoning his uniform.

Oh no, not again. Lavi paused long enough to stare at Allen, almost in disbelief. "You, Allen Walker, do realize that we - you and I - haven't had sex, you know intercourse, in nearly two weeks - aka **_fourteen days_**?"

That was just pathetic. "You keep count?" Allen stared, face blank.

"You clearly underestimate how seductive you are."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Allen stared, voice monotone.

Lavi nodded, lifting a finger in a matter-of-fact fashion. "I am merely a man, smitten with a small white-headed vixen that enjoys seducing me and then leaving me hanging." He nodded again, "Clearly you can't even begin to understand my torment."

Allen glowered, "You're pathetic, Usagi."

Lavi grinned, "Finally you understand my pain."

"Don't count on it." Allen glared, pushing the man's face away with his free hand before standing. "Now please, can we get dinner? I'm hungry."

_  


* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Gensui** - general.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Usagi** - rabbit.


	8. Monotony

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I meant to apologize for how long it took me to update in the last chapter, but I didn't have the time. I've been swamped with school lately, and then I got sick. I should be getting chapters up at least once a week from now on though. Promise!

Thanks for all the reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc guys! Really, they mean a lot. And why yes this is a special chapter where I shall begin with shout-outs.

**Reviewer Shout-Outs**

**ClaymoreDarkAlicia**: I was missing writing the cute smut like the end of the last chapter. Why yes, I am a total cute smut addict ... and I enjoy it very much. And no, I actually don't ever remember Lavi THANKING Allen for saving him, haha. Really I don't remember Lavi ever thanking anyone for anything ... xD And yay, despite it being the 823409842094+ generic EMO LAVI OMG spin-off - I do it with style. That means a lot. :D More Laven shall come, I promise3

**InfinityOnTheRun**: I replied to you via the 'reply to review' button ... but oh well, I'm doing it again. I sadly know that I do drag on without much variation sometimes; normally I take the time to read over my chapters about a million times, change about half a dozen things, add and subtract a few here and there ... then I post. At least I do that when I'm not lazy - which sadly I've been lately because of the swamp of work Dx. But! Expect better quality updates from now on, thankfully I have time. Also, thank you for the critique. I love getting comments like 'I love this' etc, they make me very happy and urge me to keep writing, but it's nice to read a good critique once in a while out of variation. -thumbs up- Thanks! :D

**F.E. Light**: We, meaning you and I, must get together sometime soon in the older part of town for DGM cosplay photos. Our DA's are lacking in the cute Laven fluff, plus we need to discuss important cosplay stuff that only group Presidents can. Like what should be done to initiate our n00bz that we love, and how to discipline them accordingly. Like a corner of death ... but worse. At the next meeting I have to use my measuring tape too. AND why yes, I love you too sweetie. -cuddles- :3

**Aion Laven Walker**: You, I do believe, have been reviewing me since I began and for that I must hug you. Thank you so very much~! -giant hug-

_Okay, that's it for this chapter. (I'll have more later on.)_**  
**

**I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Eight_** - **_**Monotony  
**_

Lavi stared, slightly unsure about the large package that rested in his hands. It was from Bookman, no doubt a rather large book. The thing that was perplexing him however wasn't the fact that it was a book - it was the fact that he'd received it in the mail. Since when did the old man send valuable information through the mail? He didn't - it was a rule of the clan to not allow even a small opening that would permit others to know of the Hidden History. So why had he gone against it? The eighteen-year-old looked about, taking in his surroundings as a precaution. He was in his room alone, but he'd learned to check about when he received new information. He was anxious, not out of worry that someone else would see, but because he was about to learn something. He was gaining something that no one else knew, that no one else would ever be allowed to know. A grin filled his lips, eye shining with excitement as he grabbed the brown parchment wrapped about the package and preceded to tear it off. It was a book after all - about medium sized with a tattered spine, and had a small note written on a torn piece of paper.

**Page 285 - Paragraph 3.**

Short, and to the point. Lavi smiled, placing the piece of torn parchment on the ground beside him before cracking the book's cover open. He flipped through pages, taking in minute details that jumped out from the page. He'd read through the rest of the book later on, but for now he'd take the time to simply read what he was instructed. Normally when he got these tips from Panda, they were worth it ... then again they often made him work over time. Not exactly something he was fond of, however his hunger for knowledge was enough to break past this minor setback. He took a breath, eyes searching the page for the third paragraph before devouring the information greedily.

_"I have come to realize in my time that things are not what they seem. My wife is not my wife, my child is not my child, and I sometimes wonder if I am even myself. I witnessed a foul thing the day before yesterday; I witnessed a man change before my eyes to that of a strange twisted machine before murdering a woman in a back alley near the castle. The man then gathered a glowing item from the woman before turning to leave. I thought for sure this murderer would escape however something strange happened, he began to enter the castle walls and was immediately destroyed. I watched the scene in awe, thinking for sure that God must have taken divine judgment on the twisted man. I have spoken of this scene to no one, and only recorded it here within my journal."_

Clearly this 'divine judgment' the man had been talking about was the egg, and clearly this whole journal had information pertaining to it. Great, now he'd have to thank the old man upon his return for sending him information. Then again, the simple fact he had sent information was strange. Before his departure Bookman had been keeping him away from the egg at all costs ... and now it was almost like he wanted him to figure the damn thing out. Lavi grunted, "Make up your mind Panda ..."

"Lavi?"

Lavi lifted his hand, waving from behind his bed to the searching voice. "Over here, Allen." He was already turning back to the beginning of the journal, starting to read over the details with more care. The bed sank, something the Bookman took note of enough to draw his eyes around. Allen had climbed on top of it and was leaning, trying to read over his shoulder. Lavi stared, closing the book promptly. "You can't read that and you know it."

Allen stared, shrugging softly. "Komui-san sent me to fetch you."

Lavi groaned, head falling back against the bed. "Let me guess, a mission?"

"Probably."

"Can't he get Yuu or Linali to do it?"

Allen shook his head, "They just left again last night, remember?"

Lavi huffed, standing hesitantly. "Figures as much. I like it better when they're here, I have less to bloody do." He dusted himself off, weaving through the stacks of books towards his corner desk. It wasn't that he minded getting out of the Order building - actually it was something he enjoyed ... at least when he didn't have something to read. When he had something to learn though, that was a totally different matter. Knowledge came before the continuous mission cycle, or at least to him it did. He placed the journal on the desk's corner before turning towards his door reluctantly, hands tossing up behind his head. "Any more _wonderful_ meetings with the Vatican?"

Allen joined him, closing his comrade's door softly. "No, I'm sure I'll have plenty when we return though."

"Ah." Lavi walked on, letting the words sink in a moment. At first the insinuation hadn't hit home, then finally he realized it. The male looked over, a renewed joy sparkling in his eyes. "Wait, you're going with me?"

Allen chuckled, "That would be the idea, Lavi. Komui-san ran into me in the cafeteria and told me to go find you, then report back to his office."

Lavi smiled, "Yeah, but this is new. I rarely get stuck with you on missions, Moyashi."

"Allen ..." The sixteen-year-old's brow twitched. "And everyone else is busy. Kanda, and Linali departed again last night with Tiedoll-gensui. Krory, Miranda, and Marie are still out - and the list goes on."

Lavi nodded, waving off the list of exorcists as unimportant at the moment. He, and Allen had a mission _together_. This day was turning out to be full of wonderful, rare, surprises ... Okay, what was the catch. There had to be one. "Just you and me?"

"Probably Link as well." Allen sighed, pushing the door of the Science leader's office open.

Lavi stopped, staring through the open door in a blank daze. **Of course**. There was the catch - Allen, him, and Two Dots. There was always a catch.

"Lavi, please stop standing in the hallway." Komui spoke from behind a stack of papers, the scratch of a pen clearly audible. "Come in and shut the door."

Lavi did as he was told, kicking the door closed sharply. It slammed louder than he'd wanted, but then again his mood had been dampened quite a bit. He _really_ didn't like Howard Link. The redhead ignored the glare he'd received from Allen towards his way of closing the door, crossing the messy room and sinking into a sit on the couch positioned in front of the Department Head's desk. His eyes shot around, as if searching out the blond Inspector. He found him, spotting the man already hovering on Allen's left - he didn't like how close that guy was. He didn't like it at all. Agitation filled his voice, brow shifting annoyed. "So. Where am I off to today, Komui?"

"Ireland." Komui took a glance over his papers once more before standing to round the desk. He came into view slowly, coffee mug in his hand. "We received reports that there were villagers disappearing without just cause in Dublin. Walker will be going with you, as will Inspector Link."

"Akuma?" Allen spoke up.

"More than likely, which probably means there is Innocence in the area. Avoid battle if possible, and if there is indeed Innocence return it and yourself here safely." Komui looked back to Lavi. " ... Lavi, are you listening?"

Lavi stared, eyes blank. He'd been listening, in fact he'd heard every word, but he'd just been paying a bit more attention to Link. He was sure he'd caught the man scooting closer to Allen ... "Yeah - Ireland with Allen and Two Dots." Ireland, eh? He hadn't been there in a while ... years actually. The male stood up, hands folding behind his head once more. "Anything else?" He ignored the strange look he was getting from Allen; he didn't care if he was glaring Link down - if he got any closer to Allen, he was going to give the man a black eye. There was a thing called personal space, and clearly Howard Link was oblivious to it. True, Lavi didn't pay much attention to personal space with _anyone_ ... but this was different.

Komui shook his head, passing the redhead's behavior off as normal. "Be ready to leave in an hour."

"Yeah." Lavi was moving already, pushing between Allen and Link with enough force to knock the file the Inspector was holding onto the floor. The blond's grimace caused him to smirk, nose poking into the air in triumph. However Allen's action sent the eighteen-year-old into a stupor, causing him to nearly walk into Komui's closed door. Was Allen actually _helping_ that man pick his things up? No way. Allen didn't like that guy - so why in the hell was he helping him pick his things up? Lavi reached for the door, yanking it open softly as he caught Allen's eye. He stared, confused at the warning in the boy's glare. His mind kicked in then, piecing together the scene Allen had witnessed. ... Crap. Had he actually just went through a jealous boyfriend phase right in plain view of both Komui Lee and Howard Link? His attention flew to Komui, who was thankfully tucked behind his mountains of paperwork and blissfully unaware of the others in the room. Then, there was Link who was glaring him down with suspicion. Lavi grinned, waving the action off as a joke.

Apparently it worked, because the man reluctantly went back to gathering his things from the floor.

"Lavi." Allen's voice was a low hiss, eyes severe as he pushed past the redhead. "We'll talk about **that** later."

He'd pissed him off. Lavi grinned, following the male out. He tossed his arm over Allen's shoulder playfully before speaking through clenched teeth. "Speak any louder and they'll hear you."

"Oh? Like that charade wasn't enough to fill them in?!"

"It went over their heads ..." Thankfully. Lavi sighed, smiling apologetically.

"I understand your dislike for Link, but that's a bit much!" Allen huffed, voice slowly losing it's edge.

Lavi took note of this, taking the opportunity to shrug the boy around a corner. It was a bit much ... at least for a friend. ... He wasn't a friend though ... right? "Oi, Allen ..."

"What?"

The redhead's voice stopped in its tracks, arm unwinding from his companion's shoulder. "Never mind ..." He smiled, waving the thought from his mind as he rounded another corner. No, he wasn't a friend ... he just had to act like one outside of his room. It was a secret no one else could know, another piece of his own Hidden History that he knew while no one else did. ... Why didn't he feel like it was something he should be proud of? He thought back a moment, remembering the look on Allen's face when Krory and Miranda had entered the cafeteria. He took in a deep breath, eyes focused on the slighter man's hand dangling a mere ten inches away from his own. He watched, scrutinizing this space. Why did it feel like a wall was there?

_**'Lavi' is merely an alias. Avoid cherishing anything while bearing this name.**_

Tch, like hell.

Lavi sped up, searching the corridor a moment. No one was here, and he'd spotted what he was looking for. He reached out, taking hold of Allen's hand abruptly before pulling over to the wall and opening a door.

"Lavi!"

The redhead ignored it, yanking the boy inside before roughly pining him against the closed entryway. It was a broom closet, and a rather cramped one at that, but it would suffice. His fingers searched out his lover's empty hand, finding it and pining it above the boy's head. His forehead pressed against Allen's, lips catching the other pair in a rushed need.

He hated that damn feeling, hated that damn wall between them when they were out in the open. He'd tear it down, smash it into thousands of pieces and set it on fire if he had to. Anything to keep it from being there, to keep it from being rebuilt larger and sturdier than before. He may be walking two paths - but hell if he was going to be unfaithful to either of them. He'd be damned if he'd loose either of them without a fight. Walls weren't keeping him out, weren't going to block him. If it meant him turning bloody and blue to keep the two things beyond those walls, the things he cherished, in reach - so be it.

"What the hell, Lavi?!" Allen spoke when he pulled away to catch his breath, voice mildly agitated.

"You felt really far away for a second ..." He tried to correct the minor shake in his voice, head falling to rest against the crook of his lover's neck.

Allen jerked, slightly taken back from the edge in the man's voice. His annoyance melted away, eyes softening gradually. "I was right beside you."

Lavi nodded slightly, breathing in the boy's scent. Yeah - right beside him. His attention was caught suddenly, eyes shooting upwards to capture Allen's. He could only make out his companion's outline, the closet was dark, but he could feel eyes on him - he knew Allen's face well enough to know exactly where those eyes were. Lavi's grip dropped, arms circling the slighter boy's waist as he sank into a sit. He pulled Allen down into a kneel in his lap, swallowing the lump in his throat. His lips pressed against his lover's left breast, forehead falling to rest against above his heart. ... He understood Allen's fear from yesterday, even if only slightly. He'd felt cut off for a moment, as if he'd been knocked out of the loop.

He knew Allen had been right beside him ... but that wasn't close enough.

Allen sighed, hands falling to cradle the messy head of hair delicately. Why was it Lavi felt so fragile right now? His lips pressed down, locking on the Bookman-to-be's cranium. "I'm right here, just like you always are."

Despite himself a small smile crept up, taking his lips over and filling his body with warmth. The words were comforting, yet painful. Was he always going to be there? "Ah ..." Lavi's voice drug, he was getting sleepy.

"Lavi ... This is no time to sleep."

Lavi didn't respond, already reaching the point of no return. That was until something impacted into his gut, causing him to sputter out in shock before leaning over to hold his throbbing stomach. "Ow! That does hurt you know!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Allen's voice was monotone as he stood, hands dusting himself off lightly before grabbing the door.

Lavi glared, nose twitching in minor agitation. "Just wait Allen, you'll go down in history as abusive."

Allen shrugged, already exiting the closet. "It won't matter if no one reads it."

Lavi simply stared, mouth agape, and for once in his life utterly speechless.

---

_Allen winced, blood spurting from his internal organs and up his throat harshly. He'd been thrown, and had crashed into a wall with enough force to make a large - fracturing - crater. He didn't understand ... What in the world had happened to Tyki Mikk? He felt himself falling towards the ground, pained limbs heavy and unable to move. He'd been injured severely before from the beating he'd taken from Lavi under Road's control, and his injuries had instantly skyrocketed upon meeting blows with the changed Noah. He needed to move, otherwise the approaching Noah would slam him downwards with his fist. He begged his limbs, pleading them silently to move with no avail. Damn it ... Something grabbed onto him then, pulling him close. It was warm ... _

_Lavi landed with his hammer outstretched in front of him, the wilted sixteen-year-old carefully tucked to his side. The Bookman locked eyes with the Noah standing a few feet away, "Tyki Mikk ... what kind of joke ... is that outfit?"_

_"Lavi ..." Allen coughed out the name, weight finally falling to rest against the redhead's shoulder._

_"Hang in there Allen."_

_"The door is ..." The sixteen-year-old gritted his teeth, attempting to move his legs to stand. They shook, not responding._

_Lavi stared, "**It's already ... Getting out of the ark is ...**" His attention jerked upwards, captured by the insane laughter rising slowly from the Noah. Lavi's eyes narrowed, shoulders bracing themselves as the Noah turned to charge._

_**The ark was crumbling - he needed to get his nakama out of here.**_

_**He needed to get Allen out of here.**_

_Lavi winced, grip tightening on the boy in his arms as they were catapulted backwards. He stared, shocked. This man's strength was insane. A wave of fear pressed through him, kicking the eighteen-year-old into action. The hammer in his grasp was turned, cross impacting the ground as his grip tightened. "Extend!" He adjusted Allen, tossing him over his shoulder as he rose upwards._

_**What should he do?**_

_**Even though he and Allen were jumping all over the place ...**_

_"Lavi!" Linali stared, worry filling her features. "Allen-kun!?"_

_**There was no where in the tower to run anymore ...**_

_Lavi hissed, grip tightening on Allen. "Ah, damn it."_

_**But still ...**_

_"You two hold onto me!" The redhead snapped, readying the small hammer to extend once again. His eyes shot upwards, catching sight of the Noah. _

_Damn it all to hell. _

_His grip on Allen released, hands pulling Oodzuchi Kodzuchi round to block the oncoming attack. His teeth gritted, biting into his lip roughly. How much longer could he hold out? He heard the small hammer fracture, grunting in annoyance. "Hi-Ban!" He froze, something tearing through his left side. His body felt heavy ..._

_**No way ... What the ...**_

_Lavi fell to the ground, blood pooling about his feet. His attention jerked back, locking on Allen as the boy attacked and was thrown back like an insect. This was bad, that guy was not at a level when try your best went anymore._

_**What in the hell should he do?**_

---

Lavi sighed, nose buried into the journal he'd received earlier that morning. Despite himself he'd been thinking back, mind replaying events like a movie. He'd been weak then as well, unable to get anyone to safety or prevent them from getting hurt. Allen's words before he'd left the closet had struck something in him, made him think more than he should have. Allen had meant it as a joke he was sure ... but he hadn't taken it that way.

**_"It won't matter if no one reads it."_**

No one would read it, no one would know about any of this ... but did that mean it didn't matter? If people didn't know something, did that make it's value drop to nothing?

The Bookman's eyes lifted, searching the train station for his companions. He spotted them both; Allen a few feet away fighting with Timcampy, and Link observing a map for the quickest route to Dublin. His attention fluttered back to Allen, the book within his hands forgotten for the moment. Everyone would be forgotten, all their sacrifices written down in a history the world would never know. The Order, Yuu, Komui, Linali, Link, Allen ... Just because they wouldn't be known, did that mean they didn't matter? That couldn't be right at all ... He'd thought about this before, but never to this degree. Maybe he was just reading too much into it, he would remember them after all ... right?

Just because people didn't know about Allen and him ... it still mattered ... didn't it?

He noticed a small girl and her Mother, walking leisurely down the platform. Both were staring at Allen, watching him as he tugged on the golden golem's cheeks in anger. Both were staring at his hair. Allen didn't seem to notice them ... but then Lavi knew better than that. Allen had always been embarrassed by his arm and his hair, he'd just gotten to the point he didn't bother showing it. He'd graduated from hiding under a hood, even if he still wanted to. Lavi closed the book, watching as a man carrying a briefcase walked by staring Allen down. Did people really have nothing better to do that stare? Honestly. Two small boys ran past, one pausing to stare at the scar on Allen's face in shock. He then ran off after his companion, terror in his eyes.

Man those people were really getting on his nerves today ...

Allen jumped slightly, looking up as something red fell in front of eyes. It took him a moment but finally he recognized it - Lavi's scarf. The man had draped it over his head, hand holding it in place. Allen peeked from beneath it, " ... Lavi?"

"Mah - Have you found it yet, Two Dots?" Lavi ignored Allen's words, walking over to the map Link's nose was pressed to. He glanced it over a moment before putting his hand on a small dot entitled 'London'. "We're here ..." He paused, changing over to Ireland before placing his finger on the dot titled 'Dublin'. "And we need to get there ... so." He went back to London, following a blue line to another dot entitled 'Crewe'. "We take the train to here, then switch over to another ..." His hand traced another blue line, stopping on a dot called 'Chester'. "To there, and then get on another train ..." Once more he followed a blue line, stopping on a dot named 'Holyhead'. "From there we take a ferry to Dun Laoghaire before taking a carriage into Dublin's city limits, genius." He traced over the ocean, following a green line before his finger stopped to rest on the Irish capital. "Easy, see? Nothing that takes you fifteen minutes to find." He'd taken this route before - it wasn't hard to figure out.

Link glared, "I had found it, but was looking for a quicker route."

"There are no quicker routes. It's that or go around your elbow to get to your ass." Lavi returned the glare, smirking when the man ran out of words. He turned on his heel, content at his recent victim's anger. "Now get on the damn train."

Link stared, watching the redhead merrily waltz off towards the boarding platform. ... This was going to be a long trip. "Walker, come on." He turned his attention to Allen, starting after Lavi reluctantly.

Allen nodded, releasing Timcampy before following. Lavi was already trying the inspector's nerves ... this would be an interesting trip at least.

Lavi entered the train, slipping through a door to the private car that had been set aside. He looked about, taking a deep breath before slumping into a seat and kicking his feet up on the opposite seat. He stretched, yawning softly. He hadn't been to Ireland in years, it would be nice to see the familiar terrain. When ever he was there he felt at ease, and in the same instant disgusted. His eyes popped open, head falling to rest in his hand against the window. He loved trains, they were so much more comfortable than carriages ... and don't even get him started on ships. Man he hated those things; loved the ocean, but hated ships with a passion. He always got seasick, or fell over board and almost drown.

"Eh?" Lavi stared, moving the scarf that had been tossed over his head. He wrapped it back around his neck, watching as Allen sank into a sit beside him.

"Thank you." Allen's voice was soft, barely a whisper as he turned his attention out the window as Link settled into the seat in front of him.

"None needed." Lavi smiled softly, fighting back the urge to reach out and entwine his fingers with his lover's. His attention slipped back to the book, hands opening it contently. He'd read about a fourth of it, and by the time they reached Crewe he was sure he'd be close to, if not, done with it. So far he hadn't found out much other than some information about the owner of the journal, he figured that once he'd reached the page he'd looked at first he'd start seeing something. Humans were nosy creatures, and after witnessing what he had the man was bound to take an interest in the castle. He took a breath, glancing the page over casually before finding his place. The redhead leaned back, slumping into the seat before losing himself in the messily written words.

Allen switched his eyes looking to the male sitting beside him instead of the bustling platform outside the window. He always enjoyed watching the man read, his features always relaxed and he looked totally in his element. ... Then again he was a Bookman after all, so that was to be expected. The sixteen-year-old sighed, attention turning back to the blond sitting in front of him. Suddenly he felt a bit out of place, like Lavi - Link had his nose in a book, reading over it carefully while writing notes on a pad on the seat beside him. His eyes looked to Timcampy, watching the small golem dart about the car before fluttering over to rest on Lavi's head. At this Allen stared, slightly shocked.

Lavi looked up, eying the golem warily before closing his book. He knew Timcampy - that golem would record anything and show it to a random bystander as blackmail. "I don't have any food, so don't even bother asking."

Timcampy seemed to puff, as if he were a bird ruffling his feathers, before snuggling down into Lavi's hair and curling into a ball.

Lavi glowered; now he knew his hair stuck out a bit even when he _didn't_ have his headband in place ... but it did not look like a damn nest. "If you do **anything** other than sleep while you're up there, I swear I'll smash you to pieces."

Allen couldn't help but laugh, "As if that will work, Lavi."

Lavi looked to the boy, glaring a moment before cracking a smile. "I'll just have to keep smashing him then."

Allen broke into another fit of laughter, hands slipping down to hold his sides. He'd just had a very funny image involving his lover, an invoked Oodzuchi Kodzuchi, and Timcampy. An image that could only be described as Whack-a-Tim.

Link tore his eyes away from his book, looking up at the sight. His brow twitched, "Walker I understand we have a private car, but could you please keep your voice down."

Allen smiled, "Sorry ..." He watched as the man returned to his book before looking back over to Lavi. ... Lavi was glaring. "Lavi ..." He dropped his voice, trying to keep the man in front of him from hearing.

"Tch." Lavi sent a final glare towards the oblivious Link before turning his eyes out the window. He felt the train lurch before slowly starting to pick up speed, beginning the long journey towards Crewe. So much for finishing the journal - he couldn't open it until Timcampy moved. The man released a sigh, eyes drawing back over to the younger exorcist beside him. His eyes remained, hand once again wishing to reach out and capture the one resting on the seat beside him. It was a good ten inches away, and that was the problem. ... He felt that wall getting back up and piecing itself together again, and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

He hated this the most. More than not being able to show affection in public, more than not being able to snatch Allen back and enforce his ownership ... more than the fear of waking one day and not having that boy.

Allen, and he were right there - alone in a private car except for one person. ... All but that damn Link and his observant eyes. That was the flaw in the plan, had Link not been there he could have enjoyed this mission. It would've been like a vacation from having to hide from the world, a much needed vacation. He could have shared a bed with Allen, he could have pulled him into his arms and let him fall asleep while on the train. Allen always fell asleep on long journeys, it didn't matter the transportation. Give the boy a few minutes to settle down and he was out like a light. Lavi shifted, causing the small golem upon his head to nudge him in protest before settling back down to it's nap. His mind was wandering, memories beginning their replaying in his head slowly but surely. ... Things he really didn't want to see. Things that made him want to lock his fingers with his lover's even more - he needed that anchor to tie him down, keep him from floating off into the past tied with that place.

Lavi jerked softly, attention slipping down as something fell to rest against his shoulder. A smile slipped across his face; Allen had fallen asleep, just like he'd known he would. Once more he fought back the instinct to turn and pull him into his arms before slipping farther down into his seat, legs stretching out. He glanced to the Inspector, eyes rolling at how slow the man was reading. This would have to be close enough for now; Allen falling over onto his shoulder could be considered a coincidence, and therefore was no need for suspicion. Lavi took a breath, head falling to lean against the window. His eyes closed, hand slipping to intertwine itself in the end of his scarf.

His mind was going to wander anyway, he might as well sleep while he had the chance.

_  


* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Gensui** - general.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.

**Usagi** - rabbit.

**Moyashi** - beansprout.

**Oodzuchi Kodzuchi** - "Big Hammer, Little Hammer"

**Hi-Ban** - Fire Seal.

**Nakama** - group, circle of friends, partner, associate(s).


	9. Continuity

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

It's that time again! Why yes, my new chapter is a bit early. Why? I got kicked with inspiration while listening to my iPod - so I'll be taking some writer's liberty in this chapter. Just a little warning.

Thanks for all the reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc guys! Really, they mean a lot. I'll be answering reviews again soon! Random reviews from Chapter(s) 8 - 12 shall be selected and posted at the top of Chapter 13.  
Yes - that would be me condemning you to wait until Chapter 13 to read my responses. Isn't that fun? So, until then good-bye! :3**  
**

**I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Nine_** - **_**Continuity  
**_

What was this melody?

Lavi shifted, eyes remaining closed as he listened intently. He'd fallen asleep, and was slowly drifting in the sea that lingered between the world and his dreams. It was late, the exact time he was unsure. All he'd known before blacking out on the couch was that they'd reached Dublin and had entered a hotel. There hadn't been any available rooms, and they'd been forced to wait while two were prepared ... so he'd sat down. Link had been speaking with the receptionist, and Allen had been using a golem to speak with Komui. At least that was the last thing he'd remembered. Usually Allen would be the first thing he worried himself over upon regaining his mentality ... but that song ...

Where did he know that song from?

He searched, digging through every ounce of information stored in his brain ... but he couldn't find it. Why couldn't he remember where he knew that song from? Fear gripped him suddenly - what if he was losing his edge? No, he couldn't be losing his edge - he wasn't allowed to. He was the successor of Bookman, the prized pupil of the old man, a valuable exorcist for the Order ... he couldn't be losing his edge now. He started searching harder, hoping to have simply overlooked the information. Then again, that in itself was preposterous. He'd never overlooked anything in his life ... but he'd never forgotten something either. Damn it, why couldn't he find it? He knew this piano melody ... but from _**where**_? Damn it!

**He couldn't become useless now.**

"Lavi, are you awake?"

Lavi opened his functioning eye, sweeping it to his right to look at the boy hovering over him tenderly. He stared for a moment before his eyes changed course, looking past the whitehead to the black Grand Piano positioned across the room. It was in the center of a round balcony overlooking a lake surrounded by a sea of stars. A man sat in front of it playing it effortlessly, utterly lost in his own beautiful world and the notes flowing from his fingers.

... Why couldn't he remember where he'd heard this before?

Allen stared, worry overtaking his features. He'd been caught in the act of placing a blanket over the sleeping eighteen-year-old, and had frozen in his tracks upon him waking. That hadn't been what had frightened him though ... it was that look on his face. Lavi's face was twisted, confused and looked almost hurt. His eyes weren't focusing properly, brows pressed together in a hard line. What was he thinking? "Lavi? What's wrong?"

Lavi ignored the question, not hearing it at all. He stood mechanically, pushing past Allen as if he weren't even there. He was completely focused on that melody, losing an annoying battle with his mind. He still couldn't place it, he couldn't even remember the name. The redhead started walking over, crossing the room clumsily as the tempo slowly increased before falling back to it's soft run of chords. He paused in the middle of the balcony, leaving a good two yards between he and the man playing. The man had yet to notice he'd gained a fan, allowing the eighteen-year-old to observe him quietly. He was older - mid-twenties maybe - and seemed to have a quite, sophisticated nature. If his talents spoke anything of his character, he was gentle, possibly over-emotional, and rather dedicated. The Bookman in him was talking, sizing the man up without an effort. No, he wasn't losing his edge ... but he'd lost something. He felt it - this melody and everything that was tied with it.

It was painful. He felt like he should know this, like it was something he could never forget ... but ...

The man ceased playing, head sweeping to look up. He noticed the redhead staring him down, and instantly smiled politely. "Good evening, may I help you?"

Lavi watched, swallowing a lump that had risen in his throat. His accent was English - clearly not a local. "Excuse me but ..." He paused, clearing his throat in an attempt to steady himself. "But could you tell me the name of that piece?"

The man smiled again, standing slowly. "It's John Field's 'Nocturne Number 6' in F Major ... Have you heard it before?"

"I have ..."

The man nodded, "A beautiful piece." He smiled once more, before bowing politely and taking his leave.

Lavi was left alone, staring blankly at the shimmering night sky. ... John Field. He knew that name. The man was a composer from the early Romantic era, credited with the creation of the nocturne form. ... Why didn't he remember that the man had written this? He knew of everything else Field had composed, so how had he simply overlooked this composition's existence? How could he have forgotten something as simple as this? His hand flew to his head, covering his left eye in frustration. How could he have forgotten ... and why was it so painful? Why did he feel like he was supposed to know this? His chest was throbbing ... why did it hurt so damn much to breathe?

"Lavi?!"

Allen's voice knocked him out of his stupor, pulling the male's eyes round suddenly. Lavi searched, reacting to the sheer panic that had been in that voice. His eyes locked with Allen's, growing in shock at the tears spilling over his lover's cheeks. Allen was standing partially hidden in front of the doors leading into the hotel, the blanket still in one hand yet forgotten as it drug the ground. Panic gripped him, forcing the redhead to stumble forward in a rush. He'd forgotten his problem breathing, and why he was having it in the first place, for the moment. Allen was crying, that was all that was registering in his mind as he reached out and pulled the boy into an embrace. He wrapped his arms around the smaller male, hands winding protectively over the mass of white hair as he buried his cheek into it. His chest was starting to hurt again, this time for a different reason. ... This, too, was painful - seeing that look on Allen's face ... keeping this secret. It hurt more than that melody_._ "I'm sorry ..."

Allen whimpered, hands gripping the cloth his face was pressed against. Another wave of tears broke free, "Stupid Lavi!" His voice shook, frustration mixing with his slurred words. What was wrong with that man? Why wasn't he allowed to know?

"Shh ... Please don't cry." Lavi spoke, voice begging, feebly. He was one to talk ... he felt like falling to his knees. He was exhausted; his shoulders felt as if they were going to break, his lungs felt as if they were about to collapse. He felt like he was at the bottom of the ocean, unable to move, with all of the water's weight pressing down on him. He had to get back up; to breathe, to keep all of it from crushing him. That melody played through his mind, tugging on the blank places in his memory, heartlessly. It felt as if he had a third path that he'd forgotten long ago, something far beyond it's unknown walls, calling him. Something precious ... how could he forget something he'd held dear, so easily? ... Could he do that to Allen? Fear shot through him, arms tightening around the male. He couldn't even think of that, of forgetting this boy. He'd sooner offer himself to an Akuma than lose any of Allen ... but what if he had to in the end? His voice shook, "I'm so sorry, Allen ..."

What was he apologizing for? He'd already decided that he wouldn't lose either of his paths - wouldn't chose one over the other ... hadn't he?

---

_"Lavi that tickles!" Allen was laughing, trying to pull away from the redhead washing his toes._

_Lavi chuckled, eyes bright, as he pulled the squirming sixteen-year-old back and into his lap. "Obviously you don't wash your feet often, if it tickles so much that is."_

_"That's not true and you know it!" Allen glared, looking up to catch the emeralds staring down at him. His attention changed, comparing the two eyes slowly. He'd never seen Lavi without his eye patch before, and honestly wondered why the man wore it. His right eye looked fine. It's color was faded and lighter than his right, but otherwise looked normal. His hand reached up, covering the redhead's left eye. "Can you see me?"_

_"Not at all." Lavi reached down, pulling the hand away slowly before placing a kiss on top of it. "That peeper doesn't work, you should know that. Otherwise why would I wear an eye patch, Allen?"  
_

_He could think of a few reasons, most leading to simply because he wanted to."What happened to it?"_

_"I was born with poor sight in that eye to begin with, and then it finally just ousted itself one day. Something to do with the retina, or that's what Jijii thinks." Lavi shrugged, leaning back in the cast iron tub with a content smile._

_"You couldn't save it?" Allen stared, reaching up to touch the man's right cheek softly._

_"The geezer tried, but there wasn't really anything he could do." The redhead grinned, grabbing his lover's hand and pressing his lips against it's palm. "Nothing to worry about though, my working eye is perfectly fine."_

_Allen smiled, "Thank goodness."_

_"Mmhmm." Lavi leaned down, catching the boy's chin to tilt it upwards. He pressed his lips against his companion's, hand releasing the one it had been holding to slip downward around Allen's waist._

_Allen stared, returning the kiss easily whilst allowing himself to be pulled closer. Honestly, they'd just gotten clean and now Lavi wanted to do that kind of thing ... not that he was protesting at the moment. "Hah!" He took a deep breath, cheeks flushing as a set of lips began wandering down his throat. The man's tongue caressed his Adam's Apple, sending a shiver through the sixteen-year-old's body. He slipped his arm around the redhead's neck, lips searching out his earlobe feverishly. That was Lavi's weak spot - his ears - and was a spot he'd desperately searched out for weeks before, finally, finding it. That was always his trump card, all he had to do to discipline his lover was latch onto his ear and then push him off nonchalantly. Lavi claimed it was cruel, but he saw it more as fair. ... Lavi was starting to catch on though, not that he could change his reactions. Allen bit down softly, tugging with enough force to gain a husky growl in his ear. That sent another shiver down his spine - Lavi's voice like that was addictive._

_It knocked him into a blissful, heated, stupor. _

---

He missed that. He missed Lavi telling him things so easily, even if he had to keep them secret. At least he'd been told enough to make him stop worrying.

Allen grimaced, head pounding as he rolled over in his bed. That was another reason he hated crying, his head always hurt afterward. Well that and the obvious reason ... it made him look weak, and over-emotional. Crying, however, was better than remembering such things as _**that**_. Much less while sharing a room with an Inspector hired by the Vatican for the sole purpose of revealing a scandal in his life. ... Even if he did miss that close contact.

The sixteen-year-old stared at the ceiling, silent as he searched it. Last night was still fresh in his mind ... Lavi's face was still fresh in his mind. He'd been unable to coax anything out of the man, but then he hadn't had long to probe. Link had appeared seconds after they'd pulled apart. He'd only been able to ask one simple question, and had received no answer. Lavi had shrugged it off, glared at Link, and then walked off to his own room. ... That was something else that pissed him off - he had to share a room with Link, while Lavi got his own damn room. That hadn't been fair at all, and to be honest had been something that had caught him off guard. Lavi had been so out of it that he'd willingly left him alone with Howard Link. Clearly the man was out of him mind, or had simply been unable to think of anything other than what was troubling him. Allen glared - that pissed him off too. Lavi never told him anything, using the excuse of 'I'm not allowed'.

Wasn't allowed his ass.

Allen glanced over at the clock on the table beside him, sighing. It was late - far too late actually. It was 11:45 AM, he'd overslept and was sure he'd be scolded for it later on. Grumbling he pushed up, hand falling back to support his weight. He searched the room, taking it in a moment. He didn't remember even coming in here, much less which room number it was. He'd been in a daze, angry and worried, and had paid little - to no - attention to anything but the distress he'd seen in the redhead. His eyes slunk over, searching the bed for the blond inspector. He didn't find him, something odd. ... Then again it wasn't something to complain about. He pulled himself off the bed, edging towards the door slowly. Maybe, just maybe, he could slip over to Lavi's room without being noticed and then demand an answer to his questions ...

"About time you woke up, Walker!"

Allen jumped, screaming, before falling backwards to land on the floor. Link had popped out of the bathroom, glaring him down with a suspicious edge in his eye. Allen stared, trying to calm his heart. ... He wanted to kill that man, "You scared me damn it!" Scared was an understatement - you just didn't hide in a bathroom and wait till someone came by to pop out for god sakes!

Link looked on blankly, "Aren't you over-reacting a bit?"

Over-reacting? Oh he'd show him over-reacting alrig- ... Someone was banging on the door.

"Damn it, Link, open up! What in the hell are you doing in there?!"

Allen recognized the voice immediately, and immediately he wanted to burst into a fit of laughter. Lavi sounded normal - jealous and as if he was out for blood - but normal. Now _that_ was over-reacting, fitting, but over-reacting nonetheless.

"Oi! Open this damn door now, or I'll-..." Lavi was cut off, falling forward a bit before catching his balance on the door's frame. His attention shot to Allen instantly, eye doubling in size when he noticed him on the ground. "Allen?! Are you alright?!"

"Why wouldn't he be?" Link stated, eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

"Why wouldn't he be?!" Lavi glared, yelling in agitation; was this guy for real?! "He woke me up screaming bloody murder, he's on the damn ground - and you're asking me 'Why wouldn't he be'?!"

"Lavi! I'm fine." Allen spoke before the inspector could say anything in response, sighing softly. "He just startled me coming out of the bathroom is all ..." He took in the redhead, noting that he wasn't lying - he'd clearly just rolled out of bed. Lavi was in naught but his trousers, hair a mess, and eye patch crooked. Allen sighed, this time relieved. He'd been scared that Lavi was still in the mood he'd been in last night ... he'd been scared he'd see that pained face staring back at him.

Lavi paused, eyes still accusing the blond man. "Why in the bloody hell I left _you_ alone with Allen, I will never understand! I'm moving in here tonight!"

"And where will you sleep? The floor?" Link glared, clearly not liking the insinuation in the man's voice.

"Hah! I'll sit my ass right in that chair and watch you all damn night if I have to!" Lavi hissed, tried temper slowly rising.

Allen groaned, drowning out the lines being tossed back and forth above him. ... This was insane. His head had been killing him already, and all this yelling wasn't doing it any good. He winced, Lavi's voice ringing out louder than it had been previously. His hand slipped over his eyes, kneading his temples roughly. Today was going to be long, and probably filled with this ... He was going to go crazy. "Alright, already!" Allen yelled, pushing himself off the floor in agitation.

Both men froze, attention drawn to the sixteen-year-old. Lavi had caught the Inspector by his collar, fist pulled back as if he were about to throw a punch. Link equally had his fist drawn back, looking as if he'd already - barely - dodged a swing or two.

"If we get lucky we won't have to get a room tonight, so can we _please_ focus on getting the Innocence and returning to the Order!" Allen hissed, slightly ashamed that he was left being the voice of reason.

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Allen went silent, the words that had been forming on his lips left hanging. His hand fell, eyes changing course to look at the floor sheepishly. "But first, can we get lunch ... I'm hungry."

Link glowered, releasing Lavi reluctantly. He didn't have time for this. "Fine, Walker - you have a point."

Lavi stared to say something else, however was silenced by a good knee to the gut. "Ow! Damn it, Allen!"

Link watched the man double over in pain, satisfaction plastering itself on his face like black paint. He shoved past the redhead, and through the open door without pausing. "I'll see if they have a restaurant here."

"Stupid son of a bitch." Lavi hissed through clenched teeth, disgust playing on his features. He turned his attention to Allen, "You're sure he didn't do anything? No funny moves? One word and I'll kill him."

"I'm sure, he just startled me when I woke up is all." Allen sighed, fatigue already setting in. The day had just began and he was already wishing to crawl back into his bed, pull the covers up and hide away from the world. ... He didn't want to do it alone though - he wanted to take Lavi with him. He suddenly was homesick - wanting to be in that messy room filled with books, locked away as time and space flew past without a thought.

"Alright, I'm going to go get dressed then. I'll meet you back here in a second."

Allen's attention was caught, eyes growing as he dove out to catch the man's arm. He pulled it to his chest, clinging to it in a feeble attempt to keep the redhead in the room. His eyes were met with a confused emerald. "Lavi ..." His voice filled with concern, "Are you alright?"

" ... Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Lavi spoke finally; almost uncertain, but smiled reassuringly.

Lies. Allen's face hardened, eyes narrowing. "I'm not a fool, and you aren't getting off that easy. _Tell me_ what was wrong last night." He was not in the mood for the man to play dumb; his grip tightened, knees locking in place.

Lavi remained silent, brows knitting together. He'd gotten the message - he couldn't leave till he explained. "Something caught me off guard is all, threw me off ... I can't talk about it, Allen."

Something about the way he'd said those words didn't sit right. He'd sounded unsure - as if he wasn't completely certain that he had told the truth. That was strange, Lavi was never unsure. He always did or did not know something. "Lavi ... _Please_." Allen drug the last word out - he needed to know. It was driving him crazy, he felt so useless. It wasn't fair that Lavi kept this side of himself secret. He understood not wanting to talk about something, and he understood not being able to talk about something ... but this was different. Lavi acted like he, himself, didn't even know if he could or could not talk about it. If he did or did not want to talk about it, even. It wasn't fair - he wanted to share the burdens on the man's shoulders, wanted to reassure him that he wasn't alone. That's what it meant to love someone ... didn't it?

... Suddenly he felt so cut off from the male he was clinging to. He felt like there was an ocean there, driving them apart. It didn't matter how much he reached out, how much he screamed the redhead's name, ... it was just too far.

Lavi looked away, trying to avoid the eyes searching him. "Allen, please ... I _**can't**_ talk about it ... I ..." He started to pull, trying to escape.

Allen bit his lip, swallowing hard. Those last words had sounded so fragile ... Lavi didn't know, he didn't understand himself. He'd gotten the message, "Alright ... but when you figure it out, _please_ ... "

Let me support you. Let me show you that you aren't alone._ **... Let me love you, damn it.**  
_

He hadn't been able to say it, the words had fallen short; Something had clicked in his mind. Link was coming up the stairs, he could hear the Inspector's footsteps slowly dragging closer. He didn't care, he wasn't finished here. That look on Lavi's face was starting to piss him off; it felt so demeaning, as if he was being pitied. Allen's jaw set, eyes regaining their edge as he released the arm in his grasp. He was going to make Lavi understand, and if this was what it took - so be it.

Lavi took a sharp gasp, breath knocked out of him as he slammed into a wall. He'd been punched with Allen's left fist, and the blow's impact alone had sent him flying into the hallway. He coughed, doubling over in an attempt to breathe.

Allen glared, eyes severe. "Damn it, Lavi! Do you really think I'm so weak that I can't handle it?!" His voice was venomous, his pleading masked by his growing rage. "Stop trying to protect me from everything!" ... _You'll kill yourself at this rate._ He'd wanted to add this, but then he'd feared it. ... What if that was the idea?Allen hissed, teeth clenching. Had he made that man understand yet? He had feet of his own, he didn't need to be carried all the time. ... Did Lavi really think he wasn't strong enough to carry _him_ once and a while?

"Stop hiding things from me ... I can't stand it!" Despite himself his voice cracked, eyes slipping to the ground. He didn't want to cry right now, but he was so frustrated ... Why couldn't that idiot confide in him? Allen clenched his fist, trying to quell the shaking that was knocking him off balance. His heart was aching, breathing being forced. This was all so painful. "... Stop pushing me away, you aren't some emotionless doll!" Allen swallowed, head snapping up. "... You're human, damn it!"

**Had he gotten through that thick skull yet?**

---

_"I never thought of you guys as comrades, not even once."  
"I am ... the next successor of Bookman."_

_**I'm nothing else but that.**_

_Those words had been painful. That last statement had hurt him more than anything. More than the beating **he** was giving Allen, more than the constant screams that echoed in this place ... more than all the memories that were holding him to the ground. Those words scared him, terrified him to be exact. That pissed him off in more ways that one. Bookman's Successor - that's all. An emotionless shell that felt nothing for the world, it's only purpose: recording history. Nothing else but that. ... Was **he** really going to take over? That empty shell? Was **he** going to erase everything he could get his hands on? ... Was he actually going to let **him**? ... No.  
_

_He wouldn't allow it. Everything there was far too precious to lose._

_"My body is moving by itself - what is this?"  
"Lavi ... ?! It can't be!"_

_"It's exactly that you bastard ..." His voice was weak, something he couldn't worry about right now. He needed to stand up - needed to get a move on. He needed to stop **him**. "You've gone wild you dumb ass ... Ah - this is the worst."_

_"You ... You're conscious?!"_

_Lavi smirked - he liked that surprised tone. "Conscious?" He stumbled, hand clinging to the knife he'd plunged into his chest. "Why would you say that?" He chuckled at the sharp intake of breath to his right, obviously **he'd** noticed._

_"That was dangerous. The death of my heart would make me lose consciousness, right?" Lavi smiled, reveling in the stupor playing on **his** face. "At that moment ... If I didn't do this, I wouldn't have been able to retain my consciousness."_

_"It's 'cause of my inexperience ... I'll take the money for settling this fight for sure!"  
"Without the condition of fire!"_

_Good - his body was responding. This was all he could do to keep **him** from his nakama - to keep **him** from Allen. He hadn't come this far to only lose everything in the end ... he was too damn stubborn for that. Lavi took a breath, eyes taking in every detail._

_"LAAVII!"_

_Lavi smirked, he'd found what he was looking for. He rushed, knife ripping from his chest before driving down into the corpse that had been holding that, precious, card. ... Sorry, Allen. "Your world ... How's an attack straight from within your dream?"_

_"You knew I was disguised as this." Road's voice echoed, weak._

_"You are ... It seems as though you like Allen, so ..." Lavi chuckled._

_"Is this your dying will? You won't succeed as Bookman, you know ..."_

_Heh. Lavi grinned again, "Who was being cornered up till now ... ?"_

_**This was the best choice he could make right now.**_

_He felt himself slipping away; despite the situation, though, he felt lighter. "I'm sorry ..." ... He couldn't erase the smile on his face. "Good-bye."_

_**That Hellfire would burn Noah - and his dark side - to nothing.**_

_"Why is it 'Lavi', the 49th 'me' ..." **His** voice sounded confused, almost hurt. "You're supposed to be me. Before 'Lavi', there were 48 others. Why weren't you the same as them?" **He** stared. "Why did you slowly deviate from all the prior 'me'?"_

_"Why was being the 49th the hardest?" A child's voice spoke, taking the place of **his** voice. "Why ... Why did you come to despise becoming a Bookman, Lavi?!"_

_The child was in terror, confused, and crying. "You chose to fight for these temporary friends?!" The child didn't understand. Why? "Humans create nothing but wars! They're a feeble species!"_

_Why didn't Lavi comprehend this? "You know it's true!" The child was begging, tempo rising to a yell. "I shouldn't even have to explain! I have the responsibility as a member of the Bookman order!"_

_Lavi stared, unable to move from the pile he'd collapsed into on the ground. He did ... "I do ... kind of understand."_

_The child froze, eyes large._

_"I ... was disappointed in humans." Lavi felt himself slipping away, fading from this place. "In the human world they were always arguing, I thought I was different from them." ... Had he been that different from all of them? He had something he needed to know - something that had been plaguing his mind for a while. "Tell me ... do you know ... the Bookman - Why do they exist?"_

**_Why is it that humans fail to bring an end to the war?_**

_The child stared, watching the man vanishing in front of him. "... Why ... ask 'me'?" The child wiped at his tears, confused. "I have no idea."_

_Lavi chuckled, "I'm supposed to be you. All 48, and you, the 49th, are but a single **me**. ... **You're** the one asking."_

_The child stared, unable to say anything in response._

_"You're the one who started to change. You're the one who should go." Lavi's voice was weak, fading away into silence.  
_

_**You're the one who really wanted to know the answer.**_

_The child started to cry again. This was painful ... he felt so alone. Why had Lavi been smiling? Why had he been so sure of himself? ... What had Lavi found that **he** hadn't?_

_"LAVI!"_

_The child looked up a moment, confused at the strangely accented voice that had caught his attention.  
_

_"LAAVVII!"_

_Something hit his leg, pulling the little boy's eyes down softly. The card that Lavi had treasured lay at his feet, floating as if an answer to all of the child's questions. He felt tears well up, "You were also me ..." He understood now ... so that's what it was ...  
_

_**That was what Lavi had found.**_

---

**"Damn it, Lavi! Do you really think I'm so weak that I can't handle it?!"  
**

No - Allen wasn't weak. Allen was the strongest person he knew, the strongest person he'd ever known.

Lavi stared, unable to tear his eyes away from the rain. How long had he been standing here, simply watching it as it covered the cobblestone streets? He'd lost track of time, lost track of everything but his wandering mind. He hadn't known what to say, what to do when Allen had sent him flying. He'd just sat there, silently staring at the ground and taking every word that had been thrown at him. ... In retrospect, maybe that hadn't been the best idea but ... he'd been caught completely off guard. The redhead chuckled slightly, brows knitting together tighter. Allen had a knack for doing that - for dumbfounding him with awe. He followed his heart, did what it told him to even if it got him in trouble. ... Even if it almost killed him.

... What was that like, doing something without thinking it through and analyzing it countless times?

Lavi went silent, watching as the water poured from a roof and slowly flowed into a patch of flowers. He'd never been able to do that - he always thought things through. He'd never been able to act impulsively without thinking of everything that could come out of his action. He considered his emotions, and his fate. He considered the effect it would have on others; how they would react, what they would say, even right down to how they would move. ... He always knew exactly what was coming. He always knew exactly what was going to happen. Humans were a predictable species ... a species he knew inside and out without having to put much thought into it at all. .. He was always right, he never got anything wrong.

If it was too much of a risk he wouldn't do it - wouldn't say it - and that was just how he was.

... But not Allen.

**"Stop trying to protect me from everything!"**

... He couldn't help himself. Allen was rash, he would end up killing himself ... and if that happened ...

Lavi bit his lip, swallowing hard. He hadn't been able to finish the train of thought, too scared to even consider the event possible. It was something he wouldn't allow ... but he couldn't help thinking the scenario over repetitively. He knew the scenario by heart already. Linali would fall in grief, and would probably lose all usefulness in battle. Komui would blame himself for everything, including his sister's depression. Yuu wouldn't say anything, but he'd get pissed off and probably destroy half of his forest 'training'. Timcampy would eat himself silly, and probably live out his days resting on Allen's tomb. Krory and Miranda would both blame themselves; they were the oldest, in their mind it was their job to look after the 'children' and they had failed. Bookman would write it down, saying nothing more than 'The Order no longer concerns us'. And he, Lavi, would lose himself. Lavi would die, and turn into that empty shell that would simply walk away without batting an eye. Bookman Junior would be the only one left in his torn body ... the only one left to write about it without a concern for who lived or died. It would just be another battle.

That empty shell would be left to search for the answer that he'd found, and that had been heartlessly snatched away from him.

Lavi stared, watching a cat run from the streets before shaking itself dry on someone's front stoop. It meowed, pawing at the door. It wanted to enter, was begging for the warmth of the family's fire. ... He knew what that was like - being soaked to the bone, freezing and wanted to be allowed in. ... Wanting to be pulled into the warmth that always lingered just out of his reach. The door opened, the light of the small cottage spilling out to illuminated the damp streets softly. It was friendly, loving as a pair of hands reached out to pick up the cat. A small boy smiled, nuzzling the animal before vanishing back into his home. The redhead watched the light vanish, eyes searching the ground as if it were going to reappear. ... But it didn't.

... He'd always wondered what that would feel like - to be held close and surrounded by warmth.

... Then he'd met Allen.

**"Stop hiding things from me ... I can't stand it!"**

That had hurt the most. He wanted to tell that boy everything ... so why couldn't he bring himself to do it?

Lavi stared, remembering the tremors that he'd picked out easily in the sixteen-year-old's voice. He hated hearing Allen's voice like that - hated hearing the tears the boy was trying so hard to hold back. To be honest, he'd had no idea he hurt Allen that much. It wasn't something he'd premeditated, and it most certainly wasn't something he ever wanted to happen again. The redhead took a breath, the cold air burning his lungs. His hands were frozen, almost numb to be honest. He still had no idea how long he'd been out here ... to be honest he didn't care. He wanted to tell Allen so much - too much. ... He wanted to tell him everything he knew, everything he'd ever known.

He wasn't allowed to do that. ... But then he wasn't allowed to care for something like this either.

What would Panda say if he found out? He always thought over that scenario, always played it over and over ... but he never got an outcome he liked. The old man would be disappointed, and would abandon him. He'd be just another failure - another stupid human written down in history. He'd be left alone in the cold - forced to forget everything he'd ever known. Forced to give up on something he held precious. ... Forced to lose the man he respected the most. What good would he be then? What could he share with Allen if he remembered nothing? ... He'd be just as useless as a book that had been written in invisible ink.

... Then again wasn't he just as useless now? He couldn't tell Allen anything now, either.

... He'd still end up hurting Allen.

**" ... Stop pushing me away, you aren't some emotionless doll!"**

No - Lavi wasn't ... at least not entirely. That, however, was what he used to be.

Lavi shivered, the wind sharp against his face. He drew his scarf closer, lungs still focusing on raggedly breathing. Before he'd come to the Order - No - before he'd met Allen ... that was all he was. That was all he'd ever been, even before the Bookmen had taken him in. Before Panda had wanted to make him more than just a useless doll without a purpose. He would still be a doll, empty, but no longer useless and without a purpose. Knowledge - he'd always wanted to know everything. Always, secretly, wanted to shove it in people's faces that he knew things they did not. He'd always been cocky, even as a useless kid ... he'd never had the care to actually do what he wanted though. His mind had been wasting away before the Bookmen - he'd always been lazy. ... Now it was only a bad habit.

Pushing away was all he knew. What else could he do?

He wasn't allowed to care about anything - wasn't allowed to be biased. He was leading a life that was telling him to push everything away, lock himself from everyone and everything. ... He hated it. He hated having to push Allen away, having to keep secrets. He hated having to hide how much he cared about that boy ... but he hated being pushed away more. It was illogical, and he knew that but ... he expected everyone to tell him everything, while he shared nothing. It was law - he wasn't allowed to be out of the loop, but they were supposed to be. He knew it wasn't fair, and he hated it too ... but he couldn't help it. He'd been taught this his whole life, and he didn't know how to stop it. ... How was he supposed to change something like that?

... Was it even possible for him to change that? Could he take the risk?

... No ... Not unless it was for Allen.

**" ... You're human, damn it!"**

Was he? ... Or better yet, was he allowed to be?

Lavi pulled from the wall, trying to steady himself as he walked from the alley. These had been the words that had struck him hardest, had knocked some sense into his stubborn ass. These were the words that had made him flee. He didn't know if he was human or not, or if he was even allowed to be human ... but Allen was. That meant he had to be, had to make himself human. If Allen was a butterfly - he'd make himself a butterfly. So, if Allen was human ... he'd have to make himself that way too. The redhead shoved his hands into his pockets, feet dragging slowly in no general direction. Could he even accomplish that much? He didn't know - he had to try though. The melody slipped back, taunting him lowly. ... If he was supposed to know all, why did his memory have black spots? Was he allowed to forget things? ... Was he even allowed to be this afraid? He wanted to be human - wanted to stop putting such stress on Allen ... He wanted to be able to love that boy freely.

Wasn't love a human emotion though? ... Could he have such a thing in him?

It was illogical ... he wasn't supposed to have any of those things. He couldn't be human ... but that was the only word that could explain how he felt. Just because he was a Bookman, did that really mean he couldn't be human? He didn't know ... and that scared him. Just like not knowing why humans couldn't stop the war - why the Bookman even existed. He was supposed to be the one with the answers ... So why in the hell did he have so many questions? He felt so confused ... This was painful. Was being an empty shell supposed to be this painful? He didn't know. Was an empty shell supposed to feel alone, even if it was? ... He didn't know ... and to be honest - he'd never known.

... Was it possible that he'd started becoming human?

... Maybe ... But only if Allen had kick-started the transformation.

**_Now who's the one crying, Lavi?_**

**_Now who's the one with no answers?_**

Lavi froze, eyes glued on the crying sky. He was ... No ... _They both were._

Everything felt so out of place. He felt so damn confused ... he didn't know what to do right now, didn't remember where to go.

Which path was he supposed to be traveling again?

"Lavi!"

The redhead snapped, head jerking around to his left in shock. He knew this voice - who's was it? What was this song?

_What was he looking for?_

"Lavi!"

Everything suddenly clicked - he knew that beautiful voice, and he knew this melody. Lavi took in his surroundings, familiar things pulling his mind from it's haze. He was in front of the hotel - and that man was playing on his piano again. He was playing that same melody ... that melody that had started everything. His eyes rested on the balcony above him, soaking the tune up greedily. It was something from long ago - something he still didn't remember. He reached out, catching the hand that was flying towards his body. His knew this face - it was a face from his present ... a face sure to be in his future. The confusion melted away, mind clearing totally.

Lavi reached out, free hand grasping Allen's neck tenderly before pulling him closer. "I'm sorry..." For everything.

Allen leaned into the man's touch, eyes closed in relief. He was soaked, and crying again; For once he was thankful for the rain. He'd been looking all over for this man, "I was worried sick ..."

He didn't recall why he'd forgotten this tune ... but then did that matter? Lavi leaned in, lips catching those of his lover's delicately. There was the answer to all his questions, right in front of him again. He understood everything ... this was what it was ...

**_This was what he'd been looking for._**

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Nakama** - group, circle of friends, partner, associate(s).

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.


	10. Concurrence

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

Once again, I'll be kick starting this chapter with something that resides only in the worlds of this Fan Fiction.

Thanks for all the reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc guys! Really, they mean a lot. I'll be answering reviews again soon! Random reviews from Chapter(s) 8 - 12 shall be selected and posted at the top of Chapter 13.  
Yes - that would be me condemning you to wait until Chapter 13 to read my responses. Isn't that fun? So, until then good-bye! :3

Oh! And have a Happy Thanksgiving!**  
**

**I'm going to rate this accordingly - no M ... yet. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Ten_** - **_**Concurrence**_

_"Lavi-kun?"_

_"Eh?" Lavi turned his attention the soft voice, eyes wandering to meet those of Linali. He stared a moment, taking in the girl's expression. She looked distressed ... or annoyed. Which, he wasn't quite sure, but he knew for a fact he was not the one at fault if it was the latter. For once in his life, he had behaved, and had been sitting in the library engulfed in a rather large classic. His eyebrow lifted, quizzical. "Is everything alright Linali?" Despite his best efforts, his voice was stale - as if he really didn't care to know._

_Linali seemed to over look his tone, sinking into a sit beside the male on the couch. She stared, worry evident within her eyes. "Um ..." The girl paused, as if thinking over her words before continuing. " ... Aren't you going to join the rest of us this afternoon?"_

_Join them? Where? Lavi stared, facial expression giving away his confusion. At this the sixteen-year-old's face seemed to fall, something that he took note of. Instantly he pulled his lips into a large, ignorant, smile. "What are you talking about exactly?" Faking interest, and feigning dumb was better than getting knocked in the head. Linali had been known to lash out when she was stressed; now it wasn't something that happened often ... but it had happened enough for everyone - even Yuu - to become wary._

_Linali sighed, "Did you really forget about the Thanksgiving feast Onii-san is having?"_

_Oh - that. No, he hadn't forgotten ... he just wasn't planning on attending. He wasn't their comrade - he didn't belong with those people of the Black Order ... not really. The false smile remained in place, shoulders shrugging. "I'll try and make it ... I'm kinda loaded down with work though." This, actually, had been the truth ... at least the last part. He did have a lot of work he had to do - things that the old man demanded him to have done before December. He was really running out of time; he was getting to the point where he had to just sit down and do it, even if he'd rather sleep._

_Linali stared, eyes softening slightly. "Please try ... Onii-san gets really excited about a lot of things, but really it's for all of the people of the Order." She smiled, thoughtfully. " ... Everyone thinks he just likes goofing off, but really he just wants to make everyone's life a bit easier. He recognizes so many holidays so he can give everyone a bit of time to relax and celebrate ..."  
_

_Lavi stared, eyes growing in size at the girl's words. He'd been shocked by her small outburst; Linali wasn't one to go on about her elder brother in that manner. She usually complained about his laziness but now ... she sounded almost proud. "Ah ... I'll try." Komui - he hadn't totally disliked the man when he'd met him a year ago ... but he had thought he was lazy, and he hadn't trusted him at all. But he never trusted anyone other than himself ... he never had._

_"Please try hard? It'll mean a lot to everyone, you're our friend after all." Linali smiled, standing silently and turning on her heel without waiting for a response._

_The redhead watched her leave, eyes still locked on the door even after she'd vanished behind it. Friend? Hardly ... but he had to admit, the people here were kind. The people in the Order weren't as stupid as human's he'd studied before. His eyes shifted, back to the open book in his lap. He glanced over the top paragraph, something he'd skipped because he'd thought it was cheesy. A woman had spent her day cooking for her husband; he'd been returning home from a two month trip and she'd planned a celebration. She'd even gone to the extent of gathering many of his friends, and co-workers together to celebrate ... and he'd called and said he wouldn't be home that night. She'd passed it off as nothing, and had retained her kindness towards the man - she'd thought he was working, when in reality he was sleeping with another woman. ... That was something he'd never have been able to do. Not that he would cook something for a man - but the whole wasting a day on someone's behalf. He wasn't that kind ... Not like the people here. Not to mention, if he **had** wasted the day and the person he'd wasted it for didn't return ... he'd have been pissed off. He couldn't have just smiled, and thought the best. He'd have known the situation as soon as it started. He had no faith in others._

_The only thing he could put above himself was History. It was something he knew, something he could depend on, something he could trust. ... Something that never changed.  
_

---

**_Humans don't register on your scale._**

_**Or have you forgotten that Lavi?  
**_

Now wasn't the time to be reminiscing; much less about such things as that. That had been the November before Allen had joined the order, he'd been worse off then. He'd been more condescending towards humans, less social than when the boy had joined and he'd met him for the first time. After meeting Allen ... he'd wanted honestly, deep within his heart, to become friends. It wasn't something that had registered in his mind at the time, nor was it something he would've ever - willingly - admitted ... but that's when he'd began asking himself so many questions. 'Lavi' had started acting up. He hadn't known why he felt so thin, why his chest would weigh him down. Without knowing it he'd began to care for the people of the Order. He wasn't supposed to ... but he hadn't understood it in the first place. He'd never cared for something before ... and he'd certainly never loved something before. Even now, after the battles in the ark, he had made only a tiny dent in this unknown.

He hated it when he didn't understand things ... and human emotions were things he didn't understand. He knew them well enough; he knew what to expect when someone felt something, and he knew how he should react towards it. ... But he didn't understand them when he felt them. They were new, even now. Now, he'd gained knowledge on them ... but he still felt uncomfortable and uncertain. He still had trouble recognizing them - still had trouble acting on them. He wasn't supposed to have them, he wasn't supposed to be human ... so why did he fight so hard to embrace these illegal emotions? He didn't understand this second path of his sometimes, much less why he bothered with it, when it caused his first such trouble.

No, that wasn't right. He knew exactly why he put up with this unknown path. It was the same reason that he was searching around the depot in a panic currently. Allen - the one thing that his first path did not have. ... And it was the one thing he needed most.

"Allen!?" Lavi's voice was hoarse, strained as he called out the same name for the twenty-first time. He'd almost forgotten he'd been worried, his mind had been spinning far too much. He was still trying to analyze all the information that he'd gained in the last two days. How long until his mind would be able to quiet down, if even a bit? He didn't know, but then he'd been in this situation before. It was the mess before the calm - the calm that would usher in a violent storm. ... That made him uneasy. He rounded a corner, functioning eye searching about in a panic over the multiple faces. They'd been attacked in the carriage on the way to the train station - a fine time for the Akuma to suddenly show themselves. He had been separated from Allen, and Link in the crossfire. **That** was something he wouldn't forgive himself for - letting Allen get stuck, alone, with that suspicious Inspector. Once more the Bookman-to-be cleared his throat, took in a deep breath and yelled. "Allen Walker?!"

That wasn't the first time he'd ever said Allen's full name out loud, it was strange. His lips tingled, as if it were something delicious that had been tasted for the first time. He didn't quite understand his reaction; it was just a surname. Why would he have such a reaction, now, of all times? And over such a common surname at that? Hell, even if it wasn't common! Why would he make such a big deal about it? It was just Allen's surname, something he'd known for a while. So why had he ...? He pushed the thoughts back; it was better to think them over later than in the current situation. He needed his mind right now; he needed it to analyze this battle, and he needed it to find Allen. A barrage of gunshots sent the man into action; he leaped back, hand spinning the small invoked hammer. "Oodzuchi Kodzuchi - Man! Man! Man! Man!" His arms yanked the hammer's growing head round, smashing it into the the two Level One's tailing him without mercy. He ignored the bystanders, looking over the few piles of ashes from the Akuma blood virus. He couldn't do anything about it - this was war, there would be innocent casualties. ... Every time he told himself that he felt guilt well up. Allen wouldn't have thought this way - he'd have gotten shot trying to save them. That's where he and Allen were different ... he was a cruel, cold, man at heart. Allen, though, was a blessing; he was the single shining light that could illuminate everything he came in contact with. He saw kindness in all.

Actually ... he and Allen were very different, in more ways than one ...

Lavi spun on his heel, parrying an attack from behind with his Innocence's handle. A Level Two - still small fry. He could handle up to a Level Three on his own ... even if the Level Three would take him longer. More than one Level Three though, that would be pushing it. Despite he was the one at a loss, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Maybe Link wasn't so bad in these situations, he could fight fine, and with that annoying Inspector there he wouldn't have to worry about Allen being alone. Allen was capable, but he was still reckless and had his limits. He was human, and despite everything 'a limit' was the one thing they had in common. Having a limit to what he could do pissed him off, he hated dragging and eventually becoming useless ... but he hated not sharing something in common with Allen more. As long as he had a limit, he still had a tie - even if it was small - to humanity. It was amusing - a few years ago he wouldn't have even acknowledged something so minuscule.

_**You shouldn't be acknowledging it now, dumbass.  
**_

"Shin!" He shot up, dodging shots from another Level Two that had appeared - if only just barely. The first Akuma was on his heels again already, forcing the redhead to give up his footing and yank his hammer round in midair. He head a crack - a comforting sound after he placed it. It had come from the Akuma, the creature's front armor had been shattered. Lavi smirked, knocking the other Level Two back abruptly before jumping to the side. He regained his footing, hoisting the large hammer into the air. "Hi Ban: Gouka Kaijin!" The stripped hammer's head was slammed into the ground, it's master yanking it back up instantaneously to parry another attack. A large salamander rose, opening it's flaming mouth with a hiss before crashing into the first Akuma. The smell of burning flesh and metal was comforting - it was a smell he knew well. It was something that reminded him he was still in a war, he still had a bit of normalcy in his life. He was always surrounded by war - maybe this was the first time he'd actually battled in it - but it was the same. War was always the same, another comforting part of his first path. He hated it when things changed, he was like that about everything ... but he longed for change. It didn't make sense really, even when he thought it over. Why did he want something to happen that he hated so much? He wanted the need for wars to be gone, but at the same time he would lose his purpose. History was brought about by war and rebirth.

That was the key lesson that the old man had taught him. Nothing was ever permanent - everything had a time when it would end. It was a cycle needed for life ... So why did he hate that cycle so damn much?

"God damn it Walker, watch where you're aiming!"

Lavi's head lurched round, body continuing it's swing of the large hammer. He never thought he'd be so happy to hear that voice.

"Watch where you're moving instead!"

Despite himself Lavi laughed, driving the large spike atop his hammer into the Level Two to finish it off. Allen was always so damn _cute_ when he was angry. Cute wasn't exactly a word that Allen liked, but it was the only word he could find to describe the boy when he was annoyed, fuming, and spitting out profanity. The Bookman-to-be latched on to Oodzuchi Kodzuchi's handle, listening intently for a moment. "Shin!" He'd located where the two were, noisily, resting for the time being. "Oi, Allen!" He called out in a sing-song manner, a large grin plastered across his face as he sank into a sit. Everyone always laughed at him when he used his hammer for transportation - apparently he rode on the thing like a witch on a broom. Honestly, did they expect him to stand all the time? He liked standing fine, but if he was traveling he wanted to sit his ass down. He spotted a mass of white hair, yanking him from his thoughts and illuminating his left eye with joy. "Allen!" He drew the name out cheerfully.

Allen's head jerked round, eyes locking above him. At first they'd been overjoyed ... then they'd exploded in terror. "Lavi!" He could only get out the man's name, the rest of his words lost when he was knocked to the ground.

Lavi had crashed right into the boy, knocking him to the ground before latching onto him in a friendly embrace. He laughed the glare he was receiving off, ruffling his comrade's hair lightly. "You look lively, as per usual."

Allen grimaced, knocking at the hand on his head roughly. "Learn to control that damn thing, idiot Usagi! It's dangerous!"

Link watched, lips parted as if he were about to back up Allen's suggestion however lost the will to speak. Lavi's face ... Dear God, get him away from that idiot.

Lavi stared, over-exaggerated horror plastered on his features. He was holding the un-invoked red-striped hammer near his face, petting it lovingly as if it had just heard something foul. "It wouldn't hurt a fly!"

Allen glared, "You're right. **It** wouldn't but _**you**_ would!"

The redhead paused, thinking the words over carefully. He smirked - Allen knew him very well indeed. "Touche."

"Ugh." Allen hissed, pushing the eighteen-year-old off before standing abruptly.

Lavi watched, chuckling in contentment. Finally his day had started off right - he'd annoyed Allen. Not that he hadn't earlier this morning, not to mention really pissed off Link, but Allen hadn't acted accordingly this morning. He'd still been half asleep, and had ignored his provocation completely. That, to be honest, had annoyed _him_ a bit. He liked starting his day with annoying Allen, and then follow it by sweeping the boy off of his feet later on in the afternoon. Allen held a grudge, even if he wouldn't admit it, and making him angry was fun - but making him sputter and forget why he'd even been angry in the first place was even more enjoyable. Plus, he got rewards for the latter. The first? ... Eh, not so much. He'd gotten socked a few times - gotten a few near concussions from being knocked down stairs - but nothing satisfied him more than seeing Allen's face beet red. He grinned, jumping up and rocking back on the balls of his feet. "Still have the Innocence ... right?"

"Yes." Link returned the glare he'd received - he didn't like that tone that Lavi had taken. "Unlike yourself, I can mange to **not** lose something important."

Was that no good piece of horse shit, actually _lecturing_ him? Lavi froze, eyes cold. He didn't like what those words brought up, what they activated in his memory. They reminded him of when he'd lost Allen ... when he'd been sure that Allen was dead. He still beat himself up over that, still lectured himself about how he couldn't - and wouldn't - ever let it happen again. He could lecture himself all he wanted, but Link doing it was another matter. "Funny. Then, what happened to that thing between your le - Ow!"

Allen had knocked the Bookman-to-be over the head, glaring a warning - If he even dared to finish that sentence there would be trouble. "I will not sit through you two bickering all the way home." His voice was low, ice cold.

Lavi growled, rubbing his cranium soothingly whilst trying to hold back a smile. ... He loved it when Allen was mad - So. Damn. _Cute_. He drew his attention away, towards the Inspector, trying to quell the laughter rising within his throat. This had been a bad move. This, too, had almost made him burst into laughter. Link was fuming, face beet red in either anger or embarrassment. The saying 'If looks could kill.' came to mind, making the redhead bite his lips. Apparently the man had gotten the message - Allen had waited too long to shut him up. Satisfaction fell over the Bookman - Good. Served that meddling guy right.

Link glared, obviously unable to come up with a retort that could satisfy his bruised ego, before shoving past the two teenagers. "Let's go, Walker. We'll miss the next train."

Allen sighed, watching the man for a moment before turning to give Lavi a hard glare.

Lavi grinned, shrugging before tossing his hands behind his head lightly. "Go on, yell at me." He said it sarcastically, as if it were the worst possible punishment. Allen knew, just as well as he did, that being yelled at would only entertain him.

The white head stared a moment before bursting into a soft fit of laughter.

Lavi stared, shocked a moment. He lifted a brow, head tilting. "Did I miss something?"

Allen smiled, eyes warm. Lavi had a talent for looking like an innocent puppy without even trying. "No." He turned on his heel, starting after the angry blond man.

Lavi remained in place a moment, thinking over what he'd just witnessed. He sighed, smiling softly. Allen had just thought he was cute - great. He laughed, starting after his lover with a small skip. Allen was in a good mood today, he was very thankful for that. He'd been worried to be honest. Worried that he'd pushed his luck and knocked himself right out of Allen's life with the stunts he'd pulled over the last two days. If it meant Allen was happy, then fine - he could live with being cute.

---

_"Operate the Ark, Allen! Weave your hopes into the music!"_

_Allen jumped, ear nearly splitting once more as the rough voice of Cross Marian screamed through his communicator. He didn't understand at all. "My wishes?!"_

_"Hurry up!"_

_**Wish.**_

_Allen stared, watching the strange face staring back at him. "My ... wish?" He didn't understand. What was his Master talking about? What was that thing talking to him? "The download ... The ark ..."_

_**"Don't you ever think about it?"**_

_Allen froze, the words of Komui slipping back into his mind._

_**"First, I'll say 'Welcome Back', and give everyone a pat on the shoulder ..."**_

_**"Then, I'll wrap my arms around Linali and hug her as tight as I can!"**_

_Allen stared at the keys on the piano, fingers tracing over them delicately._

_**"As for Allen-kun, well, I'll just have to make sure there's a ton of food ... for him to eat."**_

_Of course. Allen's breath caught, lips setting in a hard line._

_**"Right about then, I daresay Lavi will just end up falling asleep. I'll have to make sure there's a blanket for him."**_

_**"And the older ones will want to have some wine and make a toast."**_

_Allen shuttered, fingers dancing over the keys to bring out the melody. It was painful thinking of Komui's words ... as was this melody playing in his head._

_**"We'll throw a huge party, and then all go to sleep."**_

_**"It'll be great."**_

_His breath caught once more, heart aching. Allen's fingers gained tempo, evening out their once sluggish pace._

_**"Oh, but Kanda will be late ... He'll probably wander in and throw a sour look around the room."**_

_Allen gritted his teeth, faces flashing through his mind. An idiot Swordsman. A kind Baron. A lazy Bookman. A crying Dancer._

_**Bring back my Nakama.**_

_"Don't disappear Ark!" His voice screamed out, almost a ghost of it's former self. He needed them back - he needed his comrades at his side. His hands banged, fingers looping the melody instinctively. _

_"Allen-kun? Are you alright?" Linali's voice broke through, calling from the earring on his left lobe.  
_

_He ignored the soft voice calling him, form doubled over on the musical instrument. His eyes were stinging ... Damn it._

_"Allen ... we're all coming in there, okay, so if you could send us the door ..." Cross' voice broke in, he sounded amused.__ "Wish for it, it will open."_

_Allen stared, his Master's words failing to surprise him anymore. He pressed a black key, a shiver coursing through his spine at the soft 'ding' it made. ... He didn't understand this at all. His attention was caught when the small girl came dancing through the door, looking about. He smiled softly, "Linali ... I'm so glad you're safe."_

_Linali froze, staring a moment before walking over. "Allen-kun ... ?" She looked up, hands clasped together near her throat. "The Ark stopped breaking down! We heard the sound of a piano ... Allen-kun, was that you?"_

_"Yeah ..." Allen's smile faltered, eyes catching sight of long, unruly, red hair. He glared his Master down - something was up. That man knew something and he was going to find out what._

_"I know what it is you want to say." Cross spoke nonchalantly, taking a drag of his cigarette. "Stop making that face at me."_

_"Why ... " Allen glared, voice darkening considerably. "That musical score ..."_

**_"DINNERTIIMMMMEEE!"_**

_Allen fell over, eyes large in shock. He sat up, searching around frantically. His heart had just skipped a beat, and then kicked into over drive. ... Please let it be him. "What ... the ... ?"_

**_"La-Lavi-san, it's not like he's a dog or something ..."_**

**_"Just you wait and see Chaoji ... If Allen's hungry, he'll come running in an instant! DIIIINNNERRTIIIIMMMME!"_**

_Linali stared, eyes frantically searching out the voices. "That voice!"_

_Allen equally recognized that voice - he'd know that voice anywhere. He felt tears well up within his eyes, teeth catching his lips between them in an attempt to silence himself. Thank God.  
_

**_"STEAK! PASTA! MITARASHI DANNNNGOOO!"_**

_"Somebody must be calling from somewhere in the Ark." Cross hissed, eyebrow twitching in annoyance._

_Thank God. Allen shuttered, a wave of relief spreading through his worn body. His fist clenched, gripping the tattered cloth of his trousers. He didn't want to cry now - but this joy was enough to smother him.  
_

_**"IT'S DINNERTIME ALLEN!"**_

_Allen chuckled, burning eyes jerking up to stare at the screen that had appeared in front of him. Lavi was nearly taking up the whole thing - hands cupped around his mouth in order to project his voice. ... Idiot, Lavi.  
_

_**"DIIIIINNNNNNERRRTIIIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEEE!"**_

_"Lavi ... Chaoji ..." Linali stared, hands over her mouth._

_At least he wasn't the only one overjoyed, Linali had sounded near tears. Allen looked over, smiling softly at the small girl before returning his attention to the men on screen. "They're alive ..." Thank God._

_**"BEEF RIBS!"**  
_

_"Huh ... Looks like the town came back too." Cross simply shrugged it all off, sinking into a sit on a chair. "Well I guess they were just getting sucked into the gap between dimensions, it's not like they were actually killed or anything ..."_

_Allen froze, tearing his eyes away from the monitor in anger. His hissed, voice once more taking on a dark tone. " ... Master. You're the one who said 'They're dead', didn't you?"  
_

_Cross simply stared, as if confused. "Huh? Well, it's basically the same thing, isn't it, if they can't come back ..."_

_Allen glared, hissing. No! That wasn't the same thing at all! "You said they were definitely dead!"_

_**"MITARASHI! MITARASHI! MITARASHI! MITARASHI!"**  
_

_Allen tore his attention away from his Master, he knew better than to argue. He would get absolutely nowhere arguing with that man, and to be honest? He was a bit more concerned with the Bookman screaming out a lunch menu in an attempt to call him. To be honest, it was a bit condescending ... He'd have to remember to knock the male in the head when he got the chance. "Lavi! We're here! We're all here! Can you hear me at all, Lavi?!" He paused, waiting for a response. ... Nothing. Allen jerked his head around, glaring at his Master once more. "... Master can't they hear our voices from in here?" He waited for a response, watching the man slipping into relaxation. Another hiss escaped. Of all times! "Stop making yourself at home and answer me already!"_

_**"Ah!"**_

_**"What is it Lavi?"**_

_**"Wait a minute ... if we're okay .. maybe that means Yuu and Kro-chan are!"**_

_**"YUU, ARE YOU - !"**_

_**"Well isn't this a pretty little picture, little Usagi brat."**_

_Allen's head jerked to the screen, eyes large. Kanda had joined Lavi, and Chaoji with a large black object in tow across his back. Once more he felt relief spread over his body, teeth biting down on his lips. Kanda was fine too ...  
_

_**"YUU! ... And is that ... Kro-chan you're carrying there?!"**_

_**"Found him on the way ... more importantly what exactly is going on?"**_

_**"Well I don't really know either ... OI GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE MOYASHI!"**_

_"Who are you calling Moyashi, idiot Lavi?!" Allen hissed, masking the joy in his voice. He was trying with all his might to hold in laughter, but failing terribly. He felt at ease suddenly, heart over-whelmed. They were alive.  
_

_**Those idiots were alive.  
**_

_---_

It was strange how nearly losing something made you treasure it even more.

Allen smiled softly, eyes locked on the ground as he stepped from the gondola. It had been a long - rough - day. Not only had he been woken up at 6 AM by his growling stomach, but he'd had to listen to Lavi and Link bicker the whole ride home. Why? All because of Lavi's snide little comment before they'd left Dublin. The only moments of peace he had received were when he'd fallen asleep on the gondola ride to the Order. How he'd managed this exactly, he still was unsure. The last thing he remembered was Lavi chucking a pen at the blond Inspector, and then he'd blacked out. He hadn't even gotten to see Link's response ... and to be honest he was a bit angry at himself for that. Lavi was noisy when he fought with that man, but it was at least entertaining enough.

"Ladies first, Two Dots."

"Shut your damn mouth, Lavi!"

Allen chuckled, stride pausing as he turned to look at the two. Link was on the ground, glaring up at the redhead. Apparently Lavi had pushed the man out of the gondola and jumped, nearly landing on the Inspector's face. Allen shook his head, eyes catching his lover's wandering emerald. He sighed softly, relief spreading throughout his body. Lavi looked at ease, and to be in rather good spirits. This was a good sign - it meant that the past two days hadn't effected the Bookman negatively. ... To be honest, he'd been worried sick about that. He hadn't known exactly what to expect from the eighteen-year-old based on what had happened yesterday. Allen glanced to the left, eying a pebble on the ground. Neither of them had spoken of the incident in the hall, but then he hadn't been in the wrong there. ... Then again neither had Lavi. They both couldn't help how they reacted ... Lavi pulled away from others, and he - Allen - he drew himself closer out of worry and desperation.

"Come on, Allen. I'm sure you're hungry, eh?" Lavi grinned, tossing an arm around the boy's shoulders.

Allen smiled, nodding. For once he'd had the chance to answer before his stomach. "Ah, we'll have to apologize to Komui-san in the morning for missing Dinner."

It was nearly 11 PM. They'd returned home behind schedule, something that Allen was sure would've troubled Linali if she'd known of it. They were supposed to return home the day before, but all hadn't exactly worked out as planned. It had been unavoidable, and to be honest as much time as he could put between he and the Vatican was progress. Allen mentally groaned, starting forward up the long path slowly. He regretted missing the large celebration that Komui had thrown for Thanksgiving ... but he did not regret putting off his report to the Vatican until the morning. He headed up the winding stairs, eyes searching about lazy. ... He wondered what kind of food they'd had for dinner, and more importantly what kinds of leftovers there were. He knew about Thanksgiving very well ... but he'd never celebrated it, much less any other Holidays. He'd never had anyone to really celebrate with. His Master certainly had, had no interest what-so-ever - he'd only seen Holidays as an excuse to get drunk ... Allen swallowed hard, eyes glancing to the golden golem that was snoozing amidst the mass of rusty orange hair on his left. ... Neither of them had gotten over it still. Then again ... he still hadn't gotten over losing Mana.

_**GRRROOOOOOARRRR.**_

Lavi broke into a fit of laughter, causing Timcampy to shift on his head - annoyed. The Bookman-to-be pushed open the door leading into the hall, "Jeez, Allen!"

Allen glared, pushing past the man instinctively. If Lavi got wind of his red face, he wouldn't hear the end of it. "Shut up, stupid Usagi."

"I suppose you'll be heading to the kitchen Walker?" Link joined in stride on Allen's right, something that gained him a glare from the redhead on Allen's left.

"Yes ..." His stomach had given him away terribly, something he often regretted. He loved food, and loved eating it more ... but having such a large appetite was annoying sometimes. Allen sighed once more, rounding the corner with his two companions. Honestly, he'd been looking forward to simply retiring to Lavi's room and going to sleep ... he was exhausted. If he didn't eat though, he wouldn't be able to sleep. It was annoying how he couldn't even do the simplest thing, he couldn't even go to bed hungry. A familiar door on the left of the hallway caught his attention, pulling his eyes over instantaneously. ... He'd missed that room. He'd missed it's smell, it's atmosphere - even the mountains of books covering it. Allen's eyes shimmied over, catching a curious emerald. At this he smiled - apparently Lavi was thinking the same thing. The man had a sparkle in his eye, and the smile on his face was a bit larger than normal. Despite himself he chuckled - honestly if Lavi was anymore obvious it would slap him in the face.

"Hey, Two Dots? When are you going to give that Innocence to Komui?" Lavi glanced over, pushing Allen around a corner. Now maybe?

"As soon as Walker goes back to his room." Link's voice drug - he sounded tired.

Allen felt the man on his left sigh, and despite himself he felt like doing it as well. He'd been hoping, and apparently so had Lavi, that the man would leave and allow them a bit of time alone. No such luck - and in this game he couldn't cheat to win. He glanced over to Lavi, thinking a moment. "Lavi? Have you heard from Bookman?"

"Yeah, he's supposed to be coming back sometime next week." Lavi yawned.

"Ah." Allen nodded. Lavi hadn't said anything, but he knew that the male had been worried about the old man. It was refreshing to know that soon he'd be returning, and apparently was doing quite well. He wondered ... "Did Bookman find anything?"

Lavi looked down, eye narrowing a moment. "You know I can't say, Allen."

Yeah - he knew, but he figured he'd try anyway. "Worth a shot."

Lavi laughed, ignoring the scoffing sound from the blond man. He shot a glare over, before pushing the cafeteria door open.

"Welcome Home!"

Allen froze in the open door, mouth ajar ... he'd lost his words at the large chorus that echoed from the room. His eyes grew large, searching over the vast tables covered in orange, brown, and red. They were all covered in food, partially hidden by all the bodies cramped into the same space. A large banner was hanging, reading 'Welcome Home!' in large festive letters. He glanced to the smiling faces, over-looking the champagne being held in the Order member's hands. He felt his heart jerk, tears welling up. ... But it was so late.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Komui squealed, throwing his arms out enthusiastically.

Linali shook her head, "Onii-chan - Thanksgiving is over already ... Honestly."

"Yuu! Linali!" Lavi called out cheerfully, hand waving furiously. He caught sight of two others then, "Kro-chan! Miranda!" Finally the redhead pulled away, skipping over to the four exorcists excitedly. "I thought we missed dinner!"

Allen watched, still frozen in the door as Komui stepped forwards. The man was smiling - something that warmed his heart. Finally the sixteen-year-old echoed Lavi's words, "Yes, I thought we had missed it ... Komui-san?"

"You did miss Thanksgiving dinner ... but we all thought we'd wait up until you all returned and have a 'Welcome Home' party." Komui smiled once more, reaching to pat the boy on the shoulder. "Welcome home."

Allen remained silent, unable to speak from shock. A welcoming party? They had gone through all this trouble just to welcome them home ... all because they'd missed dinner's celebration. He watched as Link pulled Komui off, already filling the man in on the events of the past two days. Allen was left alone, standing in the doorway watching the people in the crowded room. They had all been knocked alive, chatting excitedly with one another. Some were clanging glasses together, while others were laughing and poking at the food lining the tables. His attention flew to his comrades finally, watching as Linali giggled at something Johnny had said. Lavi was bothering Kanda, and had the Japanese man in a head lock - giving him a noogie. Kanda looked as if he were going to murder the Bookman-to-be, fighting with all his might to free himself. Krory was simply watching, amused, and Miranda was laughing softly - trying to mask her worry for Lavi's health. He felt something land on his shoulder, tearing his attention away from the group in front of him abruptly.

Timcampy had fluttered over, and snuggled up against his cheek. The golem looked as if he'd been searching the room again, desperately seeking out a Master he would never find.

Allen smiled softly, patting the golden machine lightly. ... Yeah, despite everything, he missed him to. That wasn't the cause of his heart aching at the moment however ... it was times like this, when he saw everyone smiling and celebrating, that he missed Mana the most. For a moment he felt vulnerable, alone, as if he wasn't supposed to be in this happy setting. His eyes flickered up once more, searching for a head of messy red hair. ... That was strange, where had Lavi gone?

"You know if you don't hurry, you won't get any food."

An arm slipped around his shoulder, pulling him close lovingly. Allen felt a shiver run down his spine, warming his bones and pushing his sudden depression away. He had Lavi, even if he didn't have Mana or his Master. He leaned into the embrace, basking in it. He was thankful for that - he still had Lavi. He still had a reason to smile, he still had someone that cared for him. "I'll get some in a moment, everyone ate earlier anyway .. so they shouldn't eat much."

"Touche." Lavi smiled, yawning softly before taking a sip from the small glass in his hands.

Allen chuckled, watching Timcampy flutter over and once again nestle into his lover's hair. He wanted to kiss that man, wanted to hold his hand and tell him how much he meant to him. ... He needed to tell Lavi how much he needed him. He leaned his head over, nudging the male's shoulder lightly before pulling away. This had been all he could do for the time being, the only way to say it without giving their secret away; Welcome Home - I love you. Allen's eyes grew suddenly, cheeks burning a light pink. He'd felt the arm around his neck pull him a bit closer, something that knocked his heart into second gear. He felt tears well up once more, joy spilling over in the form of a small smile. Lavi had said nothing, but he'd heard the man's reply loud and clear.

**Welcome home, darling. I love you, too.**

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Oodzuchi Kodzuchi** - "Big Hammer, Little Hammer"

**Onii-san** - older brother

**Shin** - extend

**Man** - grow

**Hi Ban: Gouka Kaijin** - Fire Seal: Conflagration of Ash

**Usagi** - rabbit.

**Moyashi** - beansprout.

**Nakama** - group, circle of friends, partner, associate(s)

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.


	11. Fidelity

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

Well, just a heads up guys - from now on this shall be rated M. (Yes - I went there.)

Thanks for all the reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc guys! Really, they mean a lot. I'll be answering reviews again soon! Random reviews from Chapter(s) 8 - 12 shall be selected and posted at the top of Chapter 13.  
Yes - that would be me condemning you to wait until Chapter 13 to read my responses. Isn't that fun? So, until then good-bye! :3

**I'm going to rate this accordingly and as such, from now on, it shall be rated M. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Eleven_** - **_**Fidelity**_

It was raining again, something so common for London throughout the year that it was annoying. That's why he hated London. Lavi sat at a table in the corner of the library, simply watching the small droplets of water splash down and cover the window pane. He'd been in here for about two hours, watching the rain and lost in his own thoughts. It sounded like a lullaby, trying to woo the inhabitants of the large building to sleep. He hated the rain, it always put him in a sour mood. It always had, and to be honest he never knew why. Maybe it was normal, after all eight out of ten humans had a sink in morale when it rained ... for some reason that didn't satisfy him though. He released a breath he'd been holding for the past minute, eyes falling to the twelve books in front of him. Two of them were opened, one stacked atop the other, while the others were in untidy piles to his left and right. At first he'd come here to look through another book he'd received via post from Bookman, something he still didn't quite understand. The man breaking the rules, however, wasn't troubling his mind much. Panda would have his reasons, even if they weren't obvious quite yet. He would either figure it out, or be told sooner or later. That's how their relationship worked, how it always had worked. He'd managed to locate new information on the Anti-Akuma egg that he'd found thanks to the new book, and in short he was pretty sure he'd figured out the reasoning behind it's operation.

To be honest it was simple, and he was slightly ashamed that he hadn't thought of the possibility before.

Simple. Maybe that's why he'd overlooked it ... or maybe he'd just been hoping for something more interesting behind the weapon's function. The key to the item's destructive force lay between it's outer and inner shell; he was sure there was a thin layer of copper present throughout. That would also explain the indentations at the top of the egg's interior. The copper worked as a conductor, and the Innocence placed in it's hollow stomach was the battery - or maybe the better word was electrical current. When the Innocence invoked it caused the copper to heat, and vibrate - then ta-da you had instant sound amplification. The Innocence released it's eerie tune, the egg amplified it's sound waves and then they escaped through tiny holes hidden within the various gems. It was a simple enough process, so simple that when he'd told Komui and Reever of his thoughts they'd mentally beaten themselves for not noticing it. Then again he had a pretty good idea as to why they hadn't noticed - the whole Order was in an uproar lately. Stress was present everywhere; it was to the point that you could almost see it rising off of people in smoke-like waves. When humans were stressed it was easy to overlook things, he knew this well.

Lavi shifted, turning a page lazily. He was re-reading the journal he'd received, the last twenty pages still didn't make sense. The man who was writing it had began investigating the castle, and had been documenting his findings. He'd been leading up to something, and then it just cut off. It's like there were missing pages ... or something had put a stop to his investigating. Maybe he was just looking too much into it, it was a possibility that the man had simply died. ... For some reason he didn't buy it though. He didn't buy it at all. The redhead groaned, slamming the book shut in annoyance. His eyes slipped over, scrutinizing the rain outside the window a final time. His eyes grew cold, glaring down the dark clouds hovering in the sky. Man, he really hated the rain. The soft tune it made as it hit the window reminded him of what had steered him off track, torn him away from why he'd come here to begin with. The real reason he had been sitting here for two hours and fifteen minutes.

He'd remembered something, even if it was small, about that melody. The piano that had played it in his memory had been slightly off-key, as if it was old and in need of tuning.

What good this information was, he didn't know ... but it eased his mind slightly. Maybe it was common to forget things; no not forget, simply push them into cold storage. You were able to recall them slowly when you needed to ... maybe that was the key to all of the knowledge possessed by the Bookmen. After learning so much you had to have a way to store information, and have room for more ... right? He reached over, closing the other book which he'd had open. A flurry of dust flew out, sailing up his nose and forcing out a sharp sneeze. Lavi lamented, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand in a soothing manner. He hated sneezing, it always made him feel colder than normal. It was strange. His eyes tore themselves away from the tabletop, catching the clock ticking away above a bookshelf. Four twenty-three PM. It wasn't as late as he'd thought, he'd been guessing around six, then again the dark glow over the land was something that could throw off anyone. Lavi pushed himself up, gathering the books he'd brought with him in his arms slowly. He counted them over in his head, re-counting a few times to insure that he'd claimed all of his possessions. If he left something here he'd never hear the end of it from Bookman, he was returning in two days. ... In retrospect he was thankful for that, he could ask the old man a few questions that had been plaguing his mind. He knew he'd get answers eventually, he just had to keep pushing for them.

The eighteen-year-old pushed the chair he'd been perched upon beneath the table, turning on his heel lightly before heading towards the large double doors across the room. He was tired, more so than usual, and his back was aching. Actually, all of his muscles were agitating him a bit. They felt drawn tight, tensed, as if they were bracing for something that had been coming for a while. He reached out, hand grasping the rusty door handle before pulling it open roughly. The hinges squeaked, something he'd gotten used to over the few years he'd been at the Order. It was intriguing, the end of his third year of being an exorcist was closing in. ... How much longer would he be here? How much longer was this war between man and machine going to last? He closed the door behind him mechanically, taking a moment to look back and forth down the hall before heading to his right. He would put his things back in his room, and then probably sit down and write. He had a few things to finish before the old man came back, and he was on his last few days of completing them. Mostly they were reports; everything he'd seen, everything he remembered, everything he'd heard minus the parts of bias. ... Minus the parts of he and Allen.

Actually ... he wondered if Allen had gotten back yet.

After his meeting with the Vatican he was supposed to accompany Linali to the other side of town to meet with Miranda and Krory. They'd left later on after the party the night before on a mission, and were to return around one this afternoon. Allen and Linali were to pick them up, and escort them back. Apparently while Allen, Link, and he had been gone there had been a few attacks on returning exorcists. The Akuma had stumbled upon Linali and Yuu when they were returning, had attacked them, and Komui was planning to keep something like that from happening again. Apparently it had been pretty bad before the two of them had received back-up. Komui was a smart man, maybe he had his times that made you ponder, but in the end he was reliable. Lavi's expression changed a moment, slipping to minor worry before once again returning to it's blank state. Actually, Komui hadn't been as cheerful lately. He seemed more stressed than normal; he looked as if he wasn't eating properly, and was slightly pale. Maybe he'd caught a cold? ... He'd have to ask Linali when she returned, she'd know about her brother's condition the moment it happened. Despite himself Lavi chuckled, turning the knob on his door gingerly.

Komui and Linali were entertaining, especially when their sibling rivalry reared it's ugly head.

_**Have you remembered your place?**_

_**You seem distant today, Lavi.**_

He slammed the door, ignoring the nagging in the back of his mind. He was always distant, he never trusted anyone after all. He wasn't supposed to, he didn't like to; it was something he just couldn't bring himself to do, yet he wanted to do dearly. The redhead tossed the books over to his left, ignoring the sharp thump they made as they knocked into one of the mountains of others. He only did that here; he only contradicted himself here, in this place. He never had before he came to the Order. He was selfish, and he knew what he did and did not want to do. If he didn't want to do it - he wouldn't. He found himself partial to both sides though when he was here, unable to decide what he wanted to do. That rip in his middle was growing, both of his paths were starting to want more out of him and he was getting to the point of being stuck. He was getting to the point that he couldn't move forward in either direction. He hated standing in that place between things, unable to do anything. Lavi grabbed his chair, yanking it out before falling into it clumsily. He searched over the messy tabletop, finally locating his pen next to an empty inkwell. His fingers clasped around the small object, sending a shiver down his spine. He always felt calmer when he held a pen in his right hand; his mind always pushed back it's insanity and cleared to allow him to think properly. He started at the top of the paper, writing out the date and time in his messy scrawl.

_'November 29, 18XX - 4:39:08 PM.'_

The scratch of the pen sent another shiver through his body, his nose taking a breath and drawing in the fresh scent of ink and unused parchment. This was like nicotine to him. The Bookman paused, eye glazing over coldly, before his mind searched for where he'd left off in his last report. He hadn't quite finished writing down the events in Dublin, not that he'd had much to write to begin with. He'd been sure to leave out pointless details such as the piano. This made him chuckle, sending a demeaning feeling through his extremities. Dublin had been a wreck; all those irrational and completely unacceptable actions. It was maddening, the mere thought that he could even think of actions such as the ones that had been taken. Never again.

_'The Innocence fragment was located in one of the older districts, just outside of Dublin's city limits. The ease of access was moderate, and retaliation on the Earl's part was minimum to nonexistent. The Black Order members managed to locate the shard within the collar of an Irish Setter, one that they'd had to corner in a back alley before obtaining God's Matter. The night was spent in a small hotel, about 3 miles in Dublin's city limits, due to unforeseen complications and a delayed departure. The weather had moderate to chilly temperatures, and the sky was overcast. Later on in the afternoon it started to rain, and did so until morning. Allen Walker woke around 6:03 AM due to a growling stomach, and insisted upon food. The members of the Black Order departed for a small pub across the street at exactly 7:03 AM, and reached the said pub at 7:05 AM. Nourishment was found, secured and then the members exited the pub at 8:09 AM. They insured themselves a carriage at 8:11 AM and departed for the local ferry at exactly 8:12 AM._

_They reached the ferry at 8:34 AM, and then boarded at 8:39 AM. At exactly 9:15 AM they exited the ship and located a carriage at 9:18 AM. They departed at 9:19 AM and headed for the local train depot. During their travel they were attacked by five Level One Akuma, three Level Two Akuma, and one Level Three at exactly 9:29 AM. The carriage was tipped, and the Rose Cross bearers preceded to battle the said agents of the Earl. Around 9:49 AM the three were separated in battle, and remained so until exactly 10:18 AM. The three rejoined at the local train depot and then headed onwards towards the boarding train at 10:28 AM. They boarded, and took their seats at 10:32 AM; the train then departed for the next station at exactly 10:45 AM.'_

The Bookman paused, taking the time to read over the historical report roughly. That was all he needed to record, it was all that mattered. The travel to and from the Order had not been interesting, and had been rather uneventful. As had the arrival at the Order and the Welcoming party. Nothing had happened that was worth writing, nothing that would matter or effect history in the least. All other events were pointless. He drug his gaze over to the small clock beside his bed, studying it a moment. Five sixteen PM. That hadn't taken him long at all. His functioning eye shimmied back to the paper, looking it over before skipping a space and writing a new date on the right hand side.

_'November 29, 18XX - 5:16:47 PM.'_

His hand moved down, positioning itself on the left hand side before starting once again to record events.

_'At exactly 5:43 AM on November 29, 18XX Allen Walker woke and readied himself for a meeting with the Vatican. He bathed, and clothed himself before departing to the cafeteria at 6:37 AM accompanied by Inspector Howard Link. Upon reaching the said location at 6:46 AM Allen ordered himself breakfast and sat to eat until 7:22 AM. The Destroyer of Time then departed for Department Head Komui Lee's office at 7:25 AM and reached his destination at exactly 7:34 AM. He remained in the meeting, reporting his actions alongside Inspector Link until exactly 12:51 PM. After this he met with Linali Lee, and along with Howard Link departed as an escort for Miranda Lotto and Arystar Krory at exactly 1:03 PM. As of yet the four Exorcists, and Inspector have not returned.'_

**_You're actually letting me do my job, I'm shocked, Lavi.  
_**

He smirked, content at the words echoing in his mind. He'd heard those words from Bookman many times. Each time had shared a common event, he'd been close to losing his current alias. Maybe he'd known subconsciously what was coming all of those times, he wasn't sure. All that mattered was that it wasn't Bookman saying these words yet, he still had time here. Allen Walker was still alive, which meant he still had a job to do here. His body went cold a moment, fingers releasing the pen idly before slipping to rest at his sides. It was ironic, Allen Walker being alive was the key point in keeping 'Lavi' alive ... whether it by duty or choice was unimportant. If there was no Allen Walker, then there would be no need for 'Lavi'. The idea sent another shiver down his spine, body going numb. The redhead locked his eyes on the ceiling, brows knitted in contemplation. He hadn't noticed it before, but this was the single point that both roads crossed - the only thing they shared in common. They both met at Allen Walker's death, the only difference was that while one path continued on the other would reach it's end. ... He didn't like that meeting point at all. Allen dying wasn't part of either of their plans, and wasn't something he would sit by and allow. He was a selfish man, and when he liked something he refused to lose it. That was the one thing all of his personalities shared - selfishness. Allen Walker was his, and as such he was the only one who decided when that boy died.

His eyes glanced once more to the ticking clocking, gaze cold, as his thumb pressed against one of his canine's. Five thirty-one PM. He smirked lowly; he tasted blood.

**_Pretty damn twisted mentality you got there, eh?_**

His eyes changed, taking on a saddened frustration. Lavi leaned forward, hand pressed against his forehead as if pushing something back. He ignored the blood slipping down from the small hole in his thumb, simply focusing on his breathing a moment. His body was cold, shaking softly as if he'd woken from a small nightmare. Man, he hated when that happened. The eighteen-year-old sucked in air through his mouth, lungs shuttering as they exhaled. He was trying to avoid using his nose, too afraid of smelling the open ink bottle on his left. His right hand searched for the cap, finally locating it before screwing it onto the bottle with minor difficultly. He took in a ragged breath, using both his mouth and nose this time. Lavi froze in surprise, soaking in the new scent that had invaded his room. A small smile crept up, shoulders relaxing in relief. He'd missed the sound of the door opening completely. He took a deep breath once again, shuddering this time in pure bliss.

Sweat and Honey.

Lavi turned, standing in a rush to cross the room. His eyes focused on the sixteen-year-old facing his door; the smell of blood was starting to mix with Allen's scent. Apparently they'd been attacked as Komui predicted, something that was worrying him slightly as he wrapped his arms around Allen's waist and tugged him closer. He pressed his cheek against the left side of his lover's neck, eyes closing contently at the sweet smell overwhelming his nose. "Are you alright, Allen?" The name was a coo.

"Ah, I'm fine ... " Allen returned the coo, cheek nuzzling into the mass of rusty hair. He took a deep breath, relaxing as the calming scent entered his nose.

He sounded tired, and from the way he was holding himself upright he was sore. Lavi opened his eye partially, glancing his lover's face over. Allen looked scuffed up, dirt tinting his ivory complexion here and there. Blood was dried down the left side of his face, near his ear, from a gash hidden within his hair. He didn't look to be hurt badly, and nothing felt broken; both were reassuring as the redhead pulled back, lips pressing against the bottom of the sixteen-year-old's hairline. "Are you free?"

Allen sighed, head tilted downwards as he leaned into the touch. "I am, thankfully."

Thank God. Lavi pressed his lips to the boy's skin once again, hands pulling to rest on his shoulders. He wasn't sure if he could handle Allen leaving right now, he couldn't keep his sanity alone. His body turned cold a moment, the thoughts that had been filling his mind earlier terrifying him. They agreed on one thing, even if it was something he'd had to teach that heartless, cruel, man. Allen Walker wasn't allowed to die - he, Lavi, needed him, and despite that man's twisted mentality ... that, cold, Bookman needed Allen too. Lavi took a deep breath, eyes closing; neither of them would let Allen die. His lips pressed down again, locking on the lower part of his lover's neck tenderly. **Allen was the only one that could save them.**

**_Tch. You're annoying, Lavi._**

"Oi, Allen ... let's take a bath." Lavi smiled, nudging the boy softly with his nose. Maybe he was annoying ... but that nagging voice in the back of his mind hadn't denied anything. That voice knew he was right. They were both the same after all, despite the distinct differences in personality. There was no Bookman, and no Lavi ... they were both parts of a single entity. One part had just given up hope. One part had just given up on living. ... And that part was the one that needed Allen most.

Allen smiled softly, left hand searching out the fingers of the redhead. "That sounds nice ..." He pulled Lavi's hand down, placing a tender peck near the man's wrist.

Lavi returned the smile, "I'll fill the tub, and you undress. Okay?" Upon finishing the sentence his lips captured the pinker pair hovering in front of them delicately, fingers twining themselves with his lover's. Finally he pulled away, releasing the hand reluctantly, and turned on his heel. He'd always been thankful for the small request Bookman had made upon them joining the order - they had to have a bathroom in their rooms. Komui had a knack for making large bath houses for both males and females, and to be honest he hadn't liked the idea of bathing in someone else's filth one bit. Lavi shuttered at the thought, kicking a few books to the side to allow him access to the small room adjacent to his bed chamber. Thankfully the request had been kept in mind when the Order had relocated to a new building; at this Lavi sighed mentally with relief. The mere thought of a shared bathhouse made him want to gag. It was unsanitary ... not to mention the total lack of privacy. His emerald drug round the room, lazily searching for the matchbook he'd placed on the counter a few days before. Finally he located it, whipped out one of the sticks and lit it up. He walked about, lighting candles in various spots before finally pausing at the large claw-footed tub.

The soft patter of raindrops over head caught his attention, dragging his gaze to the window behind him. It was still raining, something that made him nearly gag as well. Blowing the diminishing piece of wood out he yanked at the open curtains, drawing them closed with care. "Do me a favor and light the candles in my room, eh?" Lavi was speaking to Allen, voice rising in order to reach the boy's ears. The minuscule amount of light that the hidden sun had provided was slipping away, slowly sending the rainy world into darkness. He really wasn't in the mood to walk back into his room, and immediately upon entering it stub his toe. The eighteen-year-old reached for the faucet, turning it on before plugging the large basin's drain. The low drum of water hitting porcelain was refreshing, sending a surge of pleasure down the redheaded man's spine. It was an eerie, almost dream-like, sound that gradually dulled to a low roar in the back of his ears.

"Lavi, where are your matches?" Allen poked his head through the door, voice unsure.

Lavi looked up a moment, hands working at regulating the water's temperature. "They should be on the table by the bed, move the books around a bit."

He watched, eyes wandering after the shining gray ones that had vanished from his view. He whined lowly, as if half expecting them to suddenly return. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed those eyes. A sharp crash caught his attention then, drawing it to the wall. Next, came Allen's voice muttering out a string of curses; apparently he'd knocked over a stack of books onto his foot. Despite himself Lavi chuckled, breathing in the faint scent of smoke from the opposite room. He tore his eyes down, scrutinizing the water for a brief moment. It was about half-way filled, which meant it was time for him to put in the bubble bath. Allen's favorite was Lavender, and as such would be the bubbly fragrance of choice tonight. The Bookman searched over the small wire rack leaning against the tub's side before finally lifting a tiny bottle of light purple ooze. He uncorked it, pouring a generous amount into the running water. Satisfied with the foamy mass hiding the porcelain bottom he placed the bottle back on it's rack, taking the time to straighten the various oils and lotions. Lavi reached for the faucet once more, turning it until the liquid flowing from it was naught but a dribble. Then, that too, slowly died out and left the room silent.

"Oh no, you're planning more than a simple bath together I see." Allen's voice was monotone, arms crossing as he paused to lean against the door frame.

Lavi chuckled, "It hadn't crossed my mind to be honest." He simply stared a moment, eyes smoldering contently at the surprise playing across his lover's face. His words had been honest, he actually hadn't thought of anything more than a relaxing bath ... but now? Allen had brought it up and thus sentenced his mind to a downward spiral, aimed right for the gutter. Lavi smiled; despite the gutter though, something had just registered ... "Hey Allen ..."

Allen shook his head with a sigh as he closed the space between he and the redhead. He paused on his lover's right, head tilting quizzically. "Hm?"

Lavi reached out, arms coiling lovingly around the younger exorcist's torso. "We're completely, and utterly, alone ..." He placed a small peck on Allen's cheek, lips brushing across his ear. "Which means I can do this ..." His lips caressed the boy's jaw. "And this ..." His arms tightened, left index hooking in one of his companion's belt loops before tugging softly. He turned Allen until he was facing him, hand slipping to tilt his chin upwards. Lavi smiled, taking note of the pink flush evident on the British teen's cheeks. "And this." Finally the Bookman-to-be leaned down, catching his beloved's lips with his own delicately. ... He'd missed this. Just simply being able to kiss Allen when he wanted, not having to worry about the eyes around him.

Allen returned the salutation with a kind smile, left hand searching for the one at his waist. He fumbled a moment before finding the fingers and intertwining his own with Lavi's. His other hand slipped up, hooking around his lover's neck gently.

The redhead broke the kiss, chuckling. "Alright, the water is going to get cold you know ..." He nudged at his partner's nose, twitching his own playfully.

Allen laughed, returning the nudge. The gesture lit up his eyes, pushing back the weariness that had filled them. "I know quite well, idiot Lavi." He pecked the redhead's cheek before turning away, fingers yanking at the buttons around his neck.

Lavi laughed, the sound light and airy. He felt at ease for the first time in days - probably a mix of the Lavender and Allen's own scent. He latched his arms around either side of the boy, fingers aiding the other fumbling set lovingly. Allen always had such a hard time with buttons, which always led to him getting frustrated at them and simply giving up. His eyes softened, fingers undoing the last of the confining pieces of silver. His hands closed on the open pieces of fabric, starting to pull the top part of the uniform down his partner's shoulders. Lavi leaned down, lips brushing the male's skin gingerly. His tongue slipped out, sliding over a patch of dried blood around the middle of the whitehead's neck.

Allen sighed, eyes closing as he leaned into the touch. ... He'd missed this dearly. The slightest brush from that man sent an electric spark down his spine, and straight out through his toes. He took a deep breath, taking in the mixed scents of Sandalwood, Parchment and Lavender. It was a calming aroma, one that relaxed his sore muscles. He ignored the soft clink as his uniform's jacket hit the floor, more interested in the hands slipping up beneath the black fabric of his shirt. Allen shivered, the man's touch cold against his skin. "Lavi, your hands are freezing ..." His voice was light, barely as whisper, as his hands slipped back and tangled themselves into the mass of rusty hair at his neck.

Lavi leaned into the touch, almost sighing in pleasure. Allen's skin was always so warm, something he could only describe as delightful. He loved that warm touch and everything that went along with it. His skin was always cold; it had always been, even when he was a child. That was something he'd never understood ... but then again, he was a cold man at heart. Maybe that made perfect sense after all ... maybe it was a fitting way to warn the rest of the world of his deceiving mask. Lavi growled, eyebrows knitting in annoyance as he tugged the shallow fabric over Allen's head. He'd had many names, many personalities, but it always ended the same. In the end he always ended up cold and uncaring. ... He always ended up right back where he started - that cold, empty, shell. He always ended up walking that long, lonely, path of a Bookman. ... Why hadn't he learned his lesson yet? His fingers traced down, caressing the boy's sides as they headed for his belt.

Allen sucked in a breath, leaning into the lips that had locked to his shoulder. Those lips had taken on a new edge - an edge he knew quite well. Pure, and undiluted, need. His fingers tangled deeper, tugging on the man's hair roughly. "Lavi ..."

Lavi ignored the name, yanking the other male's belt free and letting it fall to the ground. ... That path was always there, always the same; he knew what to expect from it. It was a hard, painful, path - but it was one he couldn't live without. Without knowledge he was useless; history was his only talent - recording it was all he knew. His analytical skills were of use no where else, nor were his talents in deception and persuasion. Had it not been for the emotionless law that had been pounded into him, maybe he'd have been of use somewhere ... but not like this. He couldn't do anything other than the job of Bookman, you had to be human to do anything else. And he wasn't human, not really. To be honest, maybe that was the reason behind him forgetting that melody ... the reason why he'd forgotten something he'd once treasured so. You had to be alive to care for something, and he clearly wasn't alive. He was stuck, caught in the middle, being able to do nothing more than watch both sides pass him by with contempt. The redhead tugged on the boy's trousers, finger looping beneath their waistband tauntingly. His lips fled downwards, trailing along the left arm that Allen hated so. His affection was quicker, needier, as the thoughts built within his mind. He was a dead, hopeless, man ... but he wanted more.

He wanted to be alive, to be human, so badly ... and the only person who could give him that was Allen.

Allen sucked in a breath, voice catching in his throat. He hadn't noticed the sudden absence of his feet on the cold tile, nor had he noticed the tub that was slowly slipping farther away. He was already gone, surrounded by that wonderful scent belonging to that man; completely lost in the cold fingers searching his body - the heated lips working their way up, heading for his own. His fingers freed themselves, instinctively wrapping around his lover's neck. He pulled, edging the man closer before capturing the rushed mouth merely inches from his own. He wasn't worrying about the missing scent of Lavender - compared to Lavi's scent it wasn't of any worth - nor was he concerning himself with the porcelain bathtub that had long vanished from view. His fingers searched, pushing themselves beneath the thin fabric of his lover's shirt; his words passed through his mind '_Oh no, you're planning more than a simple bath together I see.'_. No, maybe he'd secretly been planning - not Lavi.

Lavi groaned, deepening the kiss he'd been yanked into. He'd moved rashly, and had pulled Allen up off of the floor and onto his hips without a second thought. From there his body had taken over, and he had stumbled out of the small bathroom without a passing glance. A bath was the farthest thing from his mind now, and instead he was worrying himself with making it to his bed _without_ dropping the boy in his arms. Something knocked against his knee, and without a thought he started lowering both himself and Allen onto the matted sheets. His feet kicked, knocking the boots that were confining them away and off of the bed. Allen had been smart - he had taken his shoes off before even coming into the bathroom. Lavi pulled his lips away reluctantly, taking the time to pull the quarter-length sleeved shirt up and over his head. It was tossed without a care as the redhead glued his lips to his companion's neck. His fingers sank lower, capturing Allen's open trousers and tugging them down greedily. A shiver pushed through his body, followed by a warm wave that shot down his abdomen. He loved everything about Allen's skin - the way it felt, the way it tasted, the way it smelled. But God, he loved how it defrosted his body - how that boy had yanked his heart from that freezer it had been stuck in since birth - the most. He took a deep breath, savoring the salty and sweet scent of Sweat and Honey. He shuddered; this was like nicotine to him.

Allen whined, breath pouring from his lungs in sharp gasps. Lavi was being so cruel; the man's hands were dancing around, avoiding anything that was in need of attention purposely. It was driving him crazy. He growled, teeth latching onto his partner's left earlobe as a means of retaliation. The sharp moan that had invaded his ear as a response had delighted him; he hadn't heard that tone in Lavi's voice for weeks. His hands slipped down, trailing over the various scars on the Bookman's back before finding what they'd been looking for. He latched onto the man's waistband, following it around until he found the white pants' fly. Allen growled in annoyance, fingers fumbling with the button a moment before finally moving on to the zipper. Before he could do more his back arched, fingers digging into the eighteen-year-old's back. "Lav-Ah!" Honestly, that man had no shame. Lavi had yanked free from his teeth, and was now taunting him with his lips by sucking on his left thigh.

"Mah, patience is a virtue Allen ..." Lavi grinned, voice holding a feral edge. Allen's tone had sent him into spasms; how long had it been since he'd heard that boy cry out like that? The redhead froze, eyes large as his body locked a moment. Allen had bucked, knocking their hips together roughly; apparently Allen was out for payback, and it had worked. The Bookman growled; fine he could play dirty too. Lavi pulled up, lips melding with Allen's parted ones feverishly. His left hand fled, reaching over to search for the drawer on the table beside his bed. He found it, pulling it open sharply before digging around. The few books that had been knocked off were details that didn't matter - he'd worry about them later, when he needed them and couldn't find them. A smirk slipped over his lips, fingers closing around a small jar of petroleum jelly. He pulled at it's top, straining to open it with one hand. It took him a few moments, but he succeeded in the end; his fingers slipped down into the goo, coating themselves before slinking out of the drawer to hover near his lover's thigh. Lavi broke the kiss, taking a drag of much needed air slowly. He took the moment to observe, making small notes about the slighter male he was hovering over.

Allen's cheeks were bright red, lips slightly swollen. Both things that yanked at the Bookman's gut and sent another wave of warmth flooding down his abdomen. Lavi smiled, placing a small peck on his partner's cheek before pulling away. He slipped down, right hand capturing Allen's swollen length. He felt the boy jerk as he lowered himself, lips parting before closing around the sixteen-year-old's tip greedily. The sharp response sent a shiver down his spine, as did the low moan that drug through his ears from his lover's lips. He felt Allen's hips lurch forward, something he responded to by immediately bobbing his head. Lavi moved his left hand, index finger circling the white headed male's entrance before penetrating harshly.

This was his payback.

"Ah!" Allen shuddered, fingers tangling into the mass of rusty orange hair at his hips. His mind had gone blank; he'd lost himself completely. He bucked forwards once again, responding the increasing tempo of his lover's bobbing head. Another moan tore itself from his lips, the presence of another finger probing him sending a quiver into his groin. Allen knew this was supposed to be payback, but this treatment wasn't cruel. He'd missed the feeling of Lavi's skin against his; he'd felt disconnected, so far away from that man since Dublin. Another shudder worked it's way through his body; his head reared, burying farther into the feather pillow beneath it. Allen grasped at the covers near his right hand, left hand pulling itself up to muffle the recurring sounds escaping his mouth. His eyes clenched, back bolting once more in response to the two fingers invading his body. In addition to their constant probing they'd started stretching, searching relentlessly for a spot in particular. His hips lunged once more, eyes pulling apart instantly when he felt Lavi release him and pull away; then he froze, bottom edging closer to the fingers assaulting it. Lavi's fingers had found what they'd been searching for.

Lavi leaned down to peck at his partner's thigh, lips slowly starting to work their way up the sixteen-year-old's torso. His fingers stretched once more before slipping themselves free slowly, as if answering his own, unasked, question. Why was it even now, in this state, he still needed to be closer to Allen? The redhead pulled away, lips caressing his lover's neck tenderly. "Relax, alright?" His voice was a coo, trying hard to mask the need that was gathered in his throat. Despite everything, he always got worried at this point. He didn't want to hurt Allen - he'd rather die than do that. He reached over once more, right hand yanking at his pants while his left dug into the jar of petroleum jelly once more. He tossed his clothing to the side, left hand closing around his own pulsing length. Despite himself the Bookman froze a moment, a cold chill working it's way through his body. No, he needed to get away from that; he wasn't ready to go into the cold storage again. His free hand latched onto Allen's thigh, pulling it up and holding it in place as he leaned over. His emerald paused, returning the tender stare of his companion's gray set. ... Had he ever told Allen how beautiful his eyes were? ... No, he didn't think he had.

The eighteen-year-old leaned down, mouth locking with Allen's a moment. That's what he'd wanted to see - Allen had relaxed again. He pulled away, other hand gripping the boy's left thigh. Lavi lifted himself, tip pressing against the other male's rectum. He shuttered, pushing forward despite the sharp muscle spasms. Allen always did this ... "Mah, stay relaxed Allen ..." Lavi spoke in sharp, quick, breaths. His voice didn't sound normal, even to his ears; it sounded feral, dragging out his lover's name as if it were a chocolate that had been placed on his tongue. He wasn't trying to sound snappy, if that's how he'd been perceived; and he most certainly hadn't been trying to sound like a lustful old man. He was more concerned with hurting the male beneath him - he always got Allen relaxed, and then right before he penetrated, the boy went and got himself worked up. It barely lasted a second, but a second was all it took for him to get hurt. Preparation would only go so damn far on its own.

Honestly, he'd told Allen so many times and all he'd gotten was an excused of 'I can't help it! It's not that I'm cringing or anything, it's anticipation!'.

Lavi smiled softly, recalling the words before leaning down to place a butterfly kiss on the boy's forehead. His eyebrows were knitted, functioning emerald watching intently for the pain to ease. It was slow, but it was starting to slip away; he saw it on Allen's face. He pulled away, before thrusting forward slowly. A shiver worked it's way up his spine, a moan slipping forward from his own lips softly. It was insane - even now - he needed to be closer. He needed to hear Allen call out his name; he needed to be locked to this world, held down by those tender hands. His hips thrust forwards, slightly faster than before. His eyebrows knitted in response, breath escaping in a sharp gasp. He needed to be closer; close enough to destroy the fear plaguing his mind. The fear of turning back into that frigid, empty, shell. He couldn't lose Allen too ...

Allen whined in gratification, fingers slowly regaining their color from the grip they'd had on the sheet beneath him. He always tried to stay relaxed, but failed. The mere thought sent him into a frenzy; why did that man have such a damn effect on him?

Lavi smiled, placing a small kiss on the boy's forehead. His right hand pulled at the sixteen-year-old's, finally managing to pry it away from the sheets it had been clinging to. His fingers locked with Allen's, hips thrusting forward with an increasing momentum; that last thought had scared him stiff. The Bookman-to-be's lips started searching, finally deciding on a section of his lover's left shoulder blade before latching on roughly.

"Hah!" Allen's fingers tightened, head pressing back into the pillow beneath it in reaction to the feverish lips heading up his jugular. "Ah!" Another moan escaped, toes curling in response to the sharp brush against his prostate.

The redhead shuddered, hips pressing forward roughly in response. His ear was barely two centimeters away from the boy's mouth, taking in every sound as if it were being projected through a stereo system. That drove him crazy; hearing Allen's voice with such a tone of pleasure. It lit a fire in him that he'd yet learned to control, one that burned nearly as fiercely as when the boy nibbled on his ears. It was a lustful, needy, fire that always reared it's head at the worst possible times. He remembered one time in Germany; he and Allen had been in the bathroom of their hotel room, and Krory had been sleeping on the bed It was one of the few times he'd been sure that they were going to get caught, Allen had been so noisy; then again it had been his fault ... not that Allen had said no. Lavi thrust forwards sharply in response to the images pouring through his mind, a heated growl escaping his throat. The mere memory was making him fall deeper - worsening his crazed state.

"Ah! Ah!" Allen shifted, voice rising in tempo as his arm flung itself effortlessly around his lover's neck. He edged him closer, back arching. He was losing his grip on reality; the only thing that was registering in his mind was the mane of red hair above him and the sharp twinges of bliss rising in his body. He moaned, the sound a needy cry in response to his aching member; one sole touch would throw him over the edge, and Lavi was cruel for keeping this final pleasure from him. "Hah!"

"Neh!" Lavi's breath caught, earlobe throbbing from the teeth that had claimed it. His grip tightened, left hand digging into the hipbone beneath it. Closer - more - he'd gotten the message. He'd known long before Allen's wordless request, he needed that too after all. That was something he could never hide from Allen, and it was something that he'd tried to hide many times. He needed to be closer; so close he and Allen could be mistaken for one entity - so close that, that, damn wall couldn't lock him out. He feared turning back into what he'd been before Allen ... He feared losing that boy. It was enough to make him crazy. His left hand claimed Allen's length, starting to caress it in time with the thrusts of his hips.

"Ha! Ha!" Allen moans were muffled, flooding out sharply from behind clenched teeth. He tugged on the redhead's earlobe, sucking it harshly; his back lurched, responding yet again to the extra stimulation. Finally. Allen tightened his fingers, as if trying to meld his hand to the one in their grasp. A chill worked its way over his body, "Lavi!" He drug out the name in bliss, a purr mixing with his words; he was going to go mad at this rate.

Lavi pushed forward, feeling the shudder working it's way over his lover's body. He thrust forward once more before his body started locking, ignoring the bodily fluid suddenly spurting against his abdomen. He'd only heard one thing - his name called out in that beautiful, heated, voice. That's all he'd needed; his fingers locked, mind going blank at the building sensation in his lower half. Lavi yanked his ear free, lips crashing into the parted ones below him in need.

He'd needed to be closer; So close that he could reach Allen's soul, and claim that as his own too.

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.


	12. Dissonance

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

Sorry it's taken so long to update guys, I've been pretty busy. Hopefully I'll be getting updates faster from now on. D:

Thanks for all the reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc guys! Really, they mean a lot. I'll be answering reviews again soon! Random reviews from Chapter(s) 8 - 12 shall be selected and posted at the top of Chapter 13.  
Yes - that would be me condemning you to wait until Chapter 13 to read my responses. Isn't that fun? So, until then good-bye! :3

**I'm going to rate this accordingly and, as such, it shall be rated M. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Twelve_** - **_**Dissonance**_

_And then the boy, drifted off to sleep breathing heavy.  
The flames within the ash, one by one, welling up that beloved face.  
Thousands of dreams upon this Earth;  
_

_As your silver eyes tremble on that night, a shining 'you' is born._

_Hundreds of millions of months and years;  
No matter how many prayers are returned to the Earth, I shall continue to pray.  
Please, give this child love, joined hands, and a kiss._

How many times would that melody plague his dreams?

To be honest it was something he'd grown rather accustomed to; the melody still pained his heart, and pulled at his memories ... but he found himself unable to even attempt sleep without it playing within his mind. It was like the smell of Sandalwood and Parchment, like the locked arms surrounding his torso; that melody - like Lavi - was something he needed in order to function. Allen opened his eyes, sighing heavily a moment, before dragging them about the room. The shadows lining the floor were slowly beginning to dissipate, fleeing from the beginning of the sun's journey into the sky. The soft lyrics of the lullaby slipped through his mind, the voice nostalgic in a way he would never understand; for some reason those words seemed heavier than normal this morning. They were pulling at his mind, as if begging for closer examination. That was something he just couldn't give though; he wasn't one to deeply look into things, and he most certainly didn't feel like doing so at the moment. He was at ease despite the nagging, content with simply lying as he was in the arms holding him close. Despite himself a small smile crept up, dragging his eyes along with it to the sleeping redhead tucked against his back.

Lavi was curled in the fetal position, body as close as humanly possible, with his head tucked soundly into the nape of Allen's neck. He had one arm coiled around his lover, as if preventing him from moving, and the other tucked beneath the pillow his head was partially on. The man's hair was a rusty mess, sticking out more than normal in certain areas; this would have been something amusing, and something that would have given him a boyish charm, had it not been for the fact the only thing covering his body was a sheet - and the sheet alone was dangerously low on his hips.

Allen snickered to himself, body turning slowly to avoid the coming crick in his neck. The sixteen-year-old settled back down once more, gray eyes locking on the peacefully closed ones in front of him. Lavi always looked at ease when he slept, as if nothing was troubling him; maybe that was why the man slept so much. Allen's eyebrows shifted, concern slipping into his features slowly. ... What was it like to have information surging through your cranium all of the time? He couldn't even fathom the thought without gaining a headache. His left hand slipped upwards, searching out the familiar cheek of his lover before closing about it tenderly. Allen remained silent, taking in the sound of the other male's breathing contently; he always enjoyed watching Lavi sleep ... it was one of the only times his worry for the other man lessened. He knew Lavi often dreamed terrible things, but despite those dreams the man always slept soundly. It was as if not even the revelation of those memories could disturb him. ... To be honest that was something he'd always admired about Lavi. No matter what happened - nothing took the man by surprise, at least not really. Lavi knew humans, Akuma, war, history ... him, and he knew them all far too well.

That man knew him better than he knew himself ... and to be honest? That scared him to death.

No, the fact Lavi knew him so well wasn't quite what scared him. Allen frowned, head falling to rest against the man's chest in thought. No ... what scared him the most was the thought that he could lose Lavi - the person who knew him best, the person who loved him dearly from the bottom of their heart ... the only person who could make him smile for absolutely no reason at all. No, what scared him most was that he could lose that redheaded idiot ... just like he'd lost Mana.

... Could he survive that again?

Allen shuttered, trying to push back the thoughts entering his mind. He knew the answer to that question far too well, and it was an answer he didn't want to think of. He had gotten through it the first time - he'd had a purpose, a promise he had to fulfill to his Father. He'd had a reason to keep moving forward then ... but if Lavi ever was taken away - what would his purpose be then? His arms slipped around, locking onto the redhead's torso greedily. He couldn't help but think back on the times in battle when he'd nearly lost the Bookman; they were unnerving, they drove him crazy. A shiver coursed down his spine, dragging a chill along with it; whenever he thought about that small chance of Lavi leaving, of Lavi straying just out of his reach, and never coming back ... he felt empty. He felt cold, as if the life had been sucked directly from him. ... Did Lavi mean so much more to him than Mana? No, that was foolish, no one could ever replace his Father but ... no one could replace Lavi either.

"What's wrong."

Allen froze, knowing that tone far too well. The words were not a request, not a quizzical statement trying to gain information; they were a forceful, and direct, order. Lavi wasn't asking him what was wrong - he was telling him he had no choice but to say. Allen shifted, eyes searching for the emerald that had been staring into his back; he found it finally, taking note of the furrowed eyebrows and concerned features accompanying it. ... He hated seeing Lavi like that, worrying about him; it was something the man did constantly, even if he didn't show it. He wasn't stupid, and Lavi knew that too. Allen forced a small smile, shaking his head softly. "I was just thinking of Mana ..."

"Oi ..." Lavi sighed, the demanding edge slipping from within his eye slowly. His arms tightened, pulling the boy closer in an attempt at comfort; he dipped his head downwards, nose nudging that of his companion softly. "Don't make that face."

A true smile pulled itself up then, playing across his lips lightly accompanied by a chuckle. Allen returned the nudge, "Sorry."

"No need for it."

... Why did he always say that? Allen sighed, tucking his head into the eighteen-year-old's chest; Lavi always did that, he passed his stress and concern off as nothing. He would always tell him that there was no need to apologize, no need to give him thanks ... Why? He'd never understood that; why shouldn't he tell Lavi he was grateful for all that was done for him? Why shouldn't he apologize when he worried, or stressed. the redhead - when he inconvenienced him so? He always felt as if he should, always felt guilty about things ... about how much he was holding that man back. Lavi was supposed to become the next Bookman, and all he - Allen - had done was get in the way of that; all he had done was compromise his chances of achieving his goal. A goal the male had been working at since childhood; who was he to get in the way of that? ... Maybe that was why Lavi said those words - to comfort him, to reassure him that it didn't matter. Yes, Lavi always said that it didn't matter ... but in the back of his heart he always felt guilty. Allen shuddered; he was selfish - he wanted that man for himself and himself alone. He didn't want to share him with anyone, not even one rusty piece of hair. He wanted to keep Lavi here, safe, in his reach; to keep him here so he could never lose him. ... That was selfish too though, wasn't it? Allen froze, eyes growing in shock as his head was wrenched upwards sharply. He stared, confused, at the narrowed emerald in front of him.

"Stop it."

Stop what? Allen stared, brow lifting in more confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Lavi glowered, mouth setting in a thin line. "You know damn well what." His voice had taken on a new edge, attempting to hide his pleading within annoyance.

Now he was getting agitated; Allen glared, attempting to pull away. "No, I do not."

"You're beating yourself up again; stop it." Lavi hissed, hands tightening their grip in response to his lover's tone. "I hate it when you do that, Allen; it makes my damn blood boil."

... That idiot really did know him too well. Allen stared, wide eyed; there it was again - that nagging, that pulling, in his chest telling him to apologize. He was scared of hurting that idiot, of hurting him and losing him ... that would sting so much more than Lavi simply leaving. He wouldn't be able to live with the guilt, wouldn't be able to forgive himself; Allen shuddered, managing to yank his face away softly. "Sorry ..." What was he supposed to say? What else could he say but that simple word - that simple apology for everything. For worrying that idiot, for giving him more stress than he needed, for possibly taking away his dream ... for thinking so badly of himself. "Forgive me, please ... " Why was he thinking like this now?

"Stop apologizing, stop beating yourself up." Lavi's voice had slipped down to a soft, comforting, tone; he pulled the boy closer, face burying itself into the mass of white hair. "... I can't stand it; smile, god damn it."

Allen winced, the tone hurting his ears; Lavi was begging him again - that proud idiot was pleading him to smile. That was the only way to make him smile - the only way for Lavi to smile was for Allen to. "I'm sorry ..." His head lifted, lips parting to speak more however he was cut off. Lavi had leaned down and kissed him, shut him up before he'd been able to say anything more. Allen shuddered, returning the kiss roughly before seeking out his lover's hands; why was it that, that was all it took to calm him? That was all he needed to return his breathing to normal, to still his mind and force all of those thoughts away. It didn't matter, they were in this together; no matter the cost, no matter the risks, no matter the sacrifices that had to be made. Compared to this - what they had - nothing else could even compare, nothing else outweighed this. This was the only way Lavi could make him understand - the only way to make him hear what he was trying so hard to say; and he'd heard it finally.

I love you, Allen Walker, so stop beating yourself up. Stop brooding over things that don't matter, god damn it. Stop apologizing for no reason at all, I can't stand it. **Stop thinking that anything means more to me than you do.**

Allen broke the kiss, forehead falling to rest against that of his comrade's. Finally, this morning felt as it should; how long had it been since they'd shared a morning like this together? A morning simply lying in each others arms after a long, wonderful, night together. ... He'd missed mornings like this so much it hurt; mornings where they didn't worry about others, didn't think of the 'what if's and 'cannot's - mornings where they could simply be as they were. Safe, warm, and together - were these such terrible requests? Allen smiled nudging the man back softly, the smile he'd received in return sending a shiver down his spine. No, those were not terrible requests - at least not to him. "Lavi, isn't B-." Allen froze, eyes growing large instantaneously at the sharp bang on the door. Everything went silent, the tightening grip of his lover's hands sending a chill through his body; apparently Lavi had heard it as well, he'd yanked his attention to the door, eyes narrowed.

"Lavi!"

Allen shuddered, shrinking back from the raspy voice on the other side of the door. No ...

"Shit!" Lavi spat, nearly falling flat on his face as he struggled out of his bed covers. He searched around, hands seeking out his undergarments in a rush; finally he found them and yanked the pale blue boxers up onto his hips in one foul swoop. His eyes shot over, locking with his companion's as his fingers felt about for his white trousers. "Allen get your stuff and get in the bathroom _now_!" His tone was a hiss, barely a whisper as he stumbled towards the door attempting to yank his pants up.

Allen was up, following the harsh orders in moments. Why hadn't he thought of the time? Why hadn't he remembered until **now** that Bookman was coming back today? Damn it all to hell, where were his pants?! The sixteen-year-old spotted them finally, snatching them up into his arms along with his boots; the other part of his uniform was in the bathroom, on the floor near the filled tub. He remembered that much. Allen jerked his head around, feeling a pair of hands shoving him into the other room in haste; that didn't bother him - it was the apologizing eyes that were burning him. Lavi's face was painful to look at, as if any moment he were going to scream. It was a mix of emotions - sadness, frustration, but the most dominant by far was anger. He wasn't angry at Allen - he was angry at himself, and it showed. Allen shivered, spinning on his heel as he caught the pair of underwear launched after him into the bathroom; there was that nagging in his stomach - that guilt welling up and pestering him again. ... If they got found out, he would never forgive himself.

"Wake up you worthless apprentice!"

"I'm up you damn Panda!" Lavi snapped, growling lowly. He looked to Allen briefly, the apology deepening within his eyes, "Lock the door."

Allen hadn't had the time to respond, hadn't had the time to tell that man to smile, the door had been shut silently in his face. He reached out, clicking the lock instantly before staring at the wooden slab in silence. He didn't hear anything for a moment on the other side, and he felt his stomach drop. Had he forgotten anything? Instantly his eyes shot over his belongings, counting the things up repetitively in his mind. No, everything was there. Two boots, underwear, pants, gloves, and jacket. Maybe Bookman had gotten suspicious? How long did it usually take Lavi to wake up? Allen thought a moment, shuddering; no it generally took a bit of encouragement to get that man to wake up - that shouldn't be anything strange. Right?

So damn it why wasn't he hearing anything?!

"God damn it Panda that hurt!"

He felt himself breathe again, knees buckling as he sank to the cold floor. Allen sighed, Lavi's sudden outburst relaxing him. Thank God, they hadn't been found out yet. He felt his shoulders lighten, the twinge in his gut dissipate slowly. Lavi wouldn't have to give up his dream, but most importantly he would be snatched away from that man. ... Was that wrong? Was that selfish? Was it okay that he worried more about Lavi being pulled away than him losing his title as the successor of Bookman? Allen stared, eyes large as they took in the details of a particular tile to his left. It was cracked, split down the middle; both sides were worn equally, but it looked as if it were about to break apart. He couldn't help but wonder, did Lavi think about that? ... Did Lavi worry more about losing him, or that title? ... What nonsense, how could he even think such a selfish thing. He shook his head, mentally berating himself - of course Lavi cared more for him than that title.

... Why did that make him feel guilty?

---

_"So, what do you think of him? Allen Walker?"_

_Lavi froze, eyes peeling away from the sleeping boy before locking on Bookman. This was an odd question. "I don't know yet ..." The redhead paused, eyes returning to Allen. He giggled once more, content with the various doodles that he'd drawn on the sleeping male's face. He was sure that Allen would be pissed when he woke - probably pout a bit - but then that was something to look forward to. Allen was funny when he was mad, this was something he'd learned the day he first met the sixteen-year-old._

_Ever since that day Allen was ... He sighed, eyes holding a hidden glow. "However, I have a feeling Allen's fight will be a painful one." Lavi leaned back, recapping his marker slowly. "From now on ..." His thoughts drifted off ... he couldn't finish that out loud._

_Bookman stared, taking slight interest in the unfinished words. The older man smiled slightly, "I see ..."_

_**  
You never told Bookman what you really thought ... did you Lavi?**_

_**You were already in too deep.**_

_**.... To be honest though ... I think Bookman already knew.**_

---

To be honest, Bookman had scared the shit out of him.

He hadn't been expecting the old man back so soon, much less had be been expecting to hear that question again. Both had been things that had knocked him off guard, something that was rare for him. Bookman hadn't talked long, hand noticed anything; he and Allen had been _very_ lucky, graced by a thread. Bookman had been tired, near collapsing, when he'd requested those reports, and that had been the sole thing that had saved them. That had been the sole piece playing into the man's usually all-seeing eyes. Despite himself Lavi sighed, relief spreading throughout his body for the fifth time; he'd been cutting it close, so close he could taste his ass being beaten bloody. If it had been any closer he'd had suffocated, his lungs would have collapsed - filled with his own, imaginary, blood. He felt himself go cold, sending another shake through the eighteen-year-old; he'd been worried sick that they'd been caught. Worried he'd done all that work for nothing, gone through all that turmoil just to end up on the street again. He couldn't have handled that, couldn't have lived if he'd turned back into that worthless boy that knew nothing. Knowledge was his air, his food - if he knew nothing, he would be nothing. He couldn't survive.

... It was ironic. Allen and knowledge were one in the same.

He was useless, unable to go on, without either. That was another reason he'd been worried out of his mind; if they had been caught, and Allen had been wrenched from his reach again ... he wouldn't have been able to stand it. He bit down hard, drawing blood from his lip for the third time; the mere thought sent images flooding through his mind - images that drove him mad. ... Images that made him want to slaughter all who were in his way - all who were pulling that boy and he apart. The mere thought of Allen being forced away from him made even his comrades look like foes; that scared him too, the fact he'd be able to attack them all without a second glance. Under those circumstances their blood would have been unimportant, simply another price paid for war. **Just something else he'd have to sacrifice to keep what belonged to him.** ... Damn, was he such a sadistic bastard? Lavi glowered, brows knitting as he leaned forward against the table in front of him. Maybe, he in fact, was; but when it came to Allen he couldn't help it, he couldn't help doing any and everything to keep that boy. The redhead studied the wall across the cafeteria, eyes locked silently on a crack in front of him. He hadn't realized how much Allen meant to him ...

**_Tch, shut your damn mouth, Lavi.  
_**

The redhead shuddered, teeth sinking into his lip once more at that nagging voice; that voice had been cold as always, yet the words had held little drive. Had he noticed? Would he admit it too? No. That cold man wouldn't admit it; he wouldn't admit he was the one behind those thoughts, he was the one who would mow down anyone that stood between them and Allen. If they lost Allen they'd go insane, whether they lost that title of Bookman's Successor or not; that was how great Allen's worth was, it was incomparable to anyone or anything else in the world. He wouldn't admit it, but they both knew it was true, and that cold man only assured that was the case by his silence. Despite everything neither of them could openly lie; it was something they had to do without words. They didn't lie - they just simply avoided things they would have to lie about. They were deceptive, they told everything, but not without making a riddle of it. They tied the truth in words no one understood.

Neither of them could stand to hide the truth, just like they couldn't stand not knowing it; what a confusing life he led.

Lavi drew his attention to the clock on the wall, counting the seconds ticking by slowly. Allen had been called to Komui's office along with Kanda, and Marie over an hour ago; he had the feeling they were going to be leaving on a mission soon. For some reason that made him feel uneasy, yanked at something in the back of his chest that had been growing since the early morning. Something about today was strange, it was something he couldn't identify ... at least not yet. He didn't have enough information yet, hadn't enough evidence to prove anything. He knew something was off - he was just waiting for that defining answer of what. What and when it would rear it's ugly head. Maybe it had something to do with the other thoughts that had been plaguing his mind, thoughts that had been triggered by that recurring question Bookman had asked him again. It was a simple, quizzical, question, but every time Bookman asked he seemed as if he were searching for an answer. An answer he never got.

At least he hadn't gotten it yet - not a definite one anyway. He'd gotten answers that never led one to think one way or the other. Lavi never said what he thought of Allen, he simply said nothing; at least he had so far.

That was something he'd been mulling over for the last hour. It was something he'd thought of before, but had immediately dismissed as if it were nothing. It was something that risked too much, but then what he was doing now was risking everything. On one hand he got to keep one thing, while on the other he lost them both; both of them were hard - both of them were ridden with strife. ... Maybe that was what had happened to that path tied to that melody. Maybe he'd pushed it, and ended up losing something he cared for deeply ... he'd chosen one thing over the other. ... Had that choice been something he should have made? Had it been worth it?

He'd chosen the path of a Bookman over that melody. He'd chosen this life of loneliness, void of emotion, compared to that other path. ... What if he'd chosen that melody? Would he be that cruel, sadistic, monster he was now?

Lavi groaned, fingers pulsing against his throbbing temples. He didn't know, and he hated it. He didn't remember what he'd lost - didn't remember why he'd chosen this over it ... but why did he feel as if he didn't want to know?

**_You'll do it again._**

That had been the first thing that man had said that made any sense. If he knew why he'd abandoned that other path, would he do it again? If he knew why, and that time came when he had to chose between a life filled with knowledge and a life with Allen ... would he chose to leave Allen behind? He felt his heart jerk, nausea spilling into his stomach roughly; he couldn't even think about that without becoming sick. ... Why did it feel that despite the nausea, despite the heartache he'd go through to leave Allen behind, in the end that would indeed be the outcome? He couldn't be that cruel of a man, to abandon that boy, could he?

Could Allen care about someone so cruel, so selfish? Someone that could leave him at the drop of a pen if it benefited him? ... Someone that put himself above and before everyone else?

Yeah, that was the kind of person Allen was. It didn't matter what you did to him - he cared about you no matter what, even if you ended up killing him.

Lavi snapped up, nearly knocking the chair he'd been sitting upon over. He needed to talk to Allen, he was going to explode if he didn't. That thought in his mind was growing, it was starting to become so much more appealing. That thought didn't hurt Allen - that was why he was crawling for it, struggling despite himself to reach out and grab it. Despite himself, despite his own wants and needs ... there was that nagging in his chest. That nagging that was telling him that maybe, just maybe, he'd finally found someone he wanted to put above himself; no matter how small that desire was, maybe he'd found the thing he'd been looking for. **Maybe he'd found the thing he could put everything else on the line for.** Lavi pushed through the cafeteria doors, ignoring the rough words as he bumped into a Finder. He wasn't there, wasn't listening to anything other than that one phrase in his head. He had to keep repeating it, had to keep a firm lock on it or it would slip away. If he lost it now it would never come back. His pace sped up, nearly a run as he pushed around a corner; if Link was with Allen he would murder him, throw him out - anything to get that white headed boy alone just long enough to say that one thing. Just long enough to ask.

He spotted him then, Allen, totally alone and walking towards his room. Instantly Lavi broke into a run, hand reaching out to snatch the boy backwards abruptly; maybe there was a God, and maybe that God was on his side after all. Hell, maybe he'd even take the time to give thanks later, thanks for being prove wrong; thanks that he hadn't been abandoned after all. His eyes met a pair of defensive gray ones, a pair that instantly changed to utter concern. Did his face look that terrifying?

"What's wrong?" Allen stared, frozen in place. Lavi looked strange, as if he were about to collapse ... like he was going insane. ... Why did he suddenly become terrified?

Lavi ignored the question, it wasn't important. He had to ask, had to get it out before he lost all sight of it and never got it back; before he fell into that pit of insanity without a hope of ever coming out again. "What would you say if I told Bookman about us?"

---

**_It's like there's someone there ..._**

**_Inside my head ..._**

**_That's what it feels like._**

_"I am making sure to chose my own path and walk down it, right ... ?"_

**_This path that I'm walking down ..._**

**_It's not something that was chosen for me, is it ... ?_**

_"It's not right, Tim?" _

_Allen didn't recognize himself, his words sounded shallow as he spoke to the floating golem. He felt strange, worry and relief fixed in him all at once. It was all so strange, so unknown and beyond his control._

_Timcampy remained silent, simply watching the boy with concerned interest.  
_

_"But why is it ..." Allen leaned forward, head falling into the folded arms across his knees. "The characters ... that are written on the 'Musical Score' ... They're the characters that Mana and I made up a long time ago."_

_He felt so lost; lost in all of those conflicting emotions attacking him from all sides.  
_

---

It was funny, he felt like that now too. Like he was being pulled apart by so many emotions he was going to scream.

He had to go to Paris with Kanda, Marie, and Link. They had to find and recover a shard of Innocence. That was what he'd been thinking of, something he hadn't been entirely happy about but it had been something easy enough to think of. Compared to this though? Compared to those words he'd just heard come from Lavi's mouth? He'd take that uneasiness, those annoying thoughts of that mission any day. He felt so strange, so weighed down and released all at the same time.

Back then he'd felt the same way. He'd been hurt, struggling over the possibility that all he'd been told by Mana had been a lie ... but at the same time? He'd felt almost happy, nostalgic, that Mana had left him something solely for him and no one else. He'd been so unsure of that path he was walking, wondering if he was the one controlling his destiny at all. ... What about now? Had all that he and Lavi had gone through, all those secrets been for nothing? He'd been walking that path, struggling to make sure Lavi was still able to become the next Bookman. That would make that man happy - that was what Lavi had been working his whole life for. Allen stared, eyes large in silence. How could he respond to what that man was asking; how could he take that away from Lavi? How could Lavi even suggest giving that up, and for him no less? ... That was insane.

Then again, wasn't that something he'd been wanting to hear for so long? An answer to the questions he'd been pondering - Lavi cared for him enough to sacrifice all of that? To sacrifice his whole life's work just so he could hold him in public? To go through all the scorn, and all the looks simply to be able to say ' I love you' freely? He'd wanted that as well, wanted to be able to say how he felt no matter the eyes and ears around. He'd wanted to be able to love Lavi outside of their bedrooms.

"Allen, don't just stand there like that - answer me!"

Allen jerked, eyes growing larger at the tone the words had been snapped in. Lavi was shaking, his eyes were wild and bloodshot; he looked like he was having a nervous breakdown. A chill flushed through him, fear breaking out across the back of his neck. This man staring at him, asking him this wasn't Lavi - it couldn't be Lavi .. couldn't it? There was that nagging, that irreversible guilt welling up and eating him alive. If he took away that man's dream ... he wouldn't be able to live with himself. "How could you ask me that?" Allen stared, pulling his arm away roughly. No matter how much he wanted to say yes, to say that would make him happy - he couldn't. If Lavi gave up being a Bookman for him, that man would lose part of who he was.

"What?" Lavi stared, eyes gaining a new wave of insanity. He was cracking - falling apart at the seams finally.

That hurt the most - he didn't want to see that man like that. That's why he was saying it, why he wasn't going to let him give up his dream. If Lavi was unhappy, if he was hurting he couldn't stand it - he'd rather die that see that man like that. Allen stared, eyebrows knitting. "Can you honestly say you'd be happy if you did that? If you gave up being a Bookman?"

Lavi went silent a moment, eyebrows melding into one in frustration. "... I'd have you, wouldn't I?" His functioning eye snatched up, almost begging himself for a straight answer to the question he'd been asked. "I'd be happy with that ..."

There it was - he was saying it again without speaking the words. **I love you, Allen and as long as I have you it doesn't matter.** His heart jerked, teeth gritting at the mixed emotions in the eye staring back at him. No - he wouldn't be completely happy like that; neither of them would be. It wasn't fair. "Did you actually think I'd be okay with you giving something like that up for me?!" Allen snapped, voice rising to a higher tone than he'd wanted. Despite himself he was getting angry; why was he angry? Shouldn't he have been happy to hear that he meant that much to that idiot?

Lavi glared, "Could you sound more damn disappointed that I care about you that fucking much?!" He'd yelled - he was getting angry too.

Oh now he was really pissed off. "Why should you care so much about someone who'd make you give up something you deserve!?" Allen hissed, eyes clouding as his teeth set in a hard line. It wasn't fair. "How can you ask me to bear that guilt!" Damn it, his voice had cracked; Allen yanked his head down, capturing his lip between his teeth. It wasn't fair for Lavi to have to give up something he cared about, just like it wasn't fair for that idiot to ask him to be okay with making him give it up. That's why he'd agreed to the secrecy. That's why he'd been fighting so hard, why he had been sneaking around and keeping everything silent even though he didn't want to. He'd been trying to make sure that man didn't have to give anything up, trying make sure Lavi didn't have to lose anything - especially because of him.

The redhead faltered, going silent. "Allen ..."

"You don't want to give up being a Bookman and you know it; it would kill you! It's part of who you are you idiot!" How could he ask Lavi to do that for him? He wouldn't be able to live with himself; wouldn't be able to stand the guilt. No matter how much he wanted that man for himself, no matter how much he cared for that idiot. If him loving that man meant Lavi would have to give up something he cared so much about ... "If us being together means you have to give that up I'd rather we weren't!" Allen froze, the words snapping out before he'd realized what he'd said. ... Did he really mean that? His eyes shot up, locking with the green one staring at him. He felt his heart shatter; that hurt so much - that look on Lavi's face.

Lavi had gone eerily silent, arms limp by his sides. His eyes had gone cold, finally lost in the insanity they'd been consumed with; he looked broken. "You don't honestly mean that, I know you don't ..." Despite his words his voice sounded unsure.

No ... he'd rather die that lose that idiot, but this was the only way ... wasn't it? Allen shuddered, swallowing hard before forcing the tears threatening to fall back. He couldn't cry now, he'd lose his resolve completely. "I do ..." He felt himself go cold then, the sheer heartbreak that filled that green eye nearly suffocating him. Allen jerked his eyes down, locking them on the ground. In the end Lavi would have suffered because of him, anyway ... right? Better to put an end to it now before that man lost everything ... before he lost Lavi just like he'd lost Mana. He'd rather give him up than have him jerked away, at least he could go on living this way.

"Excuse me for wasting your time, Walker."

... No, don't say that. Allen yanked his eyes upwards; Lavi had already turned and was starting towards his room. That name - Walker - didn't sound right when it was said in that voice, at least not with that tone; Lavi had sounded so cold, so unemotional it nearly burned. Allen felt his body go numb, nearly failing to fight back the urge to run after that man. This was the best thing - he had to keep telling himself that; if he didn't he'd scream. He turned on his heel, doing all possible to keep from running in the opposite direction as he began moving forward; he had to go to Paris with Kanda, Marie and Link. He couldn't be late; he had a job to do as an Exorcist - he didn't have time for this. He had to get the Innocence before the Earl and his Akuma. He didn't want to think of anything but that - Paris. Innocence. Exorcist. Earl. Akuma.

... Forget the thing that was screaming behind him - forget the tattered organ in his chest telling him to turn around. **Paris. Innocence. Exorcist. Earl. Akuma.**

_And then the boy, drifted off to sleep breathing heavy.  
The flames within the ash, one by one, welling up that beloved face.  
Thousands of dreams upon this Earth;_

_As your silver eyes tremble on that night, a shining 'you' is born._

_Hundreds of millions of months and years;  
No matter how many prayers are returned to the Earth, I shall continue to pray.  
Please, give this child love, joined hands, and a kiss._

He still couldn't understand why that melody felt so heavy - why it begging him to listen to it more carefully. What was his Father trying to tell him, even now? He didn't understand, he couldn't think at the moment; his chest felt empty, as if he'd left something important behind. No matter how hard he tried, how hard he thought, the only thing that was filling his mind was the utter heart-break that had been plastered across Lavi's face at his words. The mere thought sent a spasm through his chest, followed by a sound begging to slip out of his tightly clenched lips. He felt another wave rush up, knocking the tears he'd been holding captive free finally; Allen quickened his pace, head tucked downward and mouth hidden in his left hand. His right fist was going numb, fingers so tightly clenched he couldn't think straight. He didn't need to think, if he thought he would turn around; he would turn, and run back after that man screaming as loud as possible. ... Why must this be so hard? He gasped, trying to breathe as he rushed around a corner headed for the lower levels of the Order building. He couldn't breathe - there was a scent missing; the air tasted so stale. This was the best thing - it had to be ... But why?

Why did this have to hurt so much?

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Panda**- A pet name for Bookman, used by only Lavi.


	13. Vicissitude

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thanks for all the reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc guys! Really, they mean a lot. I'll be answering reviews again soon! Random reviews from Chapter(s) 8 - 13 shall be selected and posted at the top of Chapter 14.  
(I completely forgot about the reviews, guys. Sorry about that. x3)

**I'm going to rate this accordingly and, as such, it shall be rated M. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Thirteen_** - **_**Vicissitude**_

_Allen stared, eyes searching about him fervently._

**_What?_**

_He shuddered, unsure of why he was reacting in this manner. He'd been walking, just as he'd told Lavi he would be; Lavi had annoyed him ... Allen's eyes jerked around once more, taking on a more panicked tone._

**_What?_**

**_What on Earth am I afraid of?_**

_He shuddered, feeling a chill creep through his body. This was strange, annoying ... Why was he so terrified he couldn't move? He caught sight of the faces passing him by, and instantly shied back.  
_

**_I'm scared of what's inside the people?_**

**_All I see are humans._**

_He felt his heart rate increase, forcing down the saliva that had gathered in his throat._

**_Right now, I can't use my left eye._**

**_Are they human?_**

_Allen stared, eyes growing larger by the minute. He felt like he was being swallowed, like he couldn't breathe properly ... like he was drowning. The humans passing him by ... were they his enemies? He didn't know, and that was the thing that kept him frozen in place. He shuddered, the thought of all those smirking faces playing behind him; he wrenched around, as if trying to catch those 'humans' in the act. No, nothing was there ... they were all just walking on casually. ... Was he losing his mind?_

_"You're an Exorcist ain'cha?"_

_Allen froze, the feeling of cold steel against the back of his head sending another chill through his body. Damn it ... Wait. A sharp bang had sent him flying forward to the ground, and equally was the sound that had him reeling to look back. He stared, unable to speak a moment at the large hammer that had plowed the small child to the ground. He felt his arms give way, bottom falling into a sit against the cold snow._

_"That was close ... What are you doing, Allen?"_

_Allen stared, Lavi's voice quelling the fear that had been gripping his throat moments before. That was strange ..._

**_No time for rest!_**

_Lavi stared, perched upon his hammer silently. Finally a small smiled pulled over his lips, eyes searching about nonchalantly. "Get up, looks like the minions have arrived."_

_"Murderer! It's a murderer!"_

_Allen ignored the screaming woman behind him, eyes locked on the redhead. Lavi didn't seem to mind the accusations filling the air, or the sharp call of someone to get the police. It was strange, something about that man's smile looked so ..._

_"Allen main streets are dangerous because of the many people. The Akuma can go after your back." Lavi hopped to the ground, pulling the large hammer up roughly. "You gotta think of the humans you see as Akuma; you can't use your eye to spot the Akuma right now, you know?"_

_"S-Sorry." Of course he knew that ... but why did it make so much more sense coming from that man? Allen stumbled, pulling himself from the ground. Even that man's voice ... something about it sounded so ..._

**_As opposed to the other exorcists though ..._**

_**I see Humans as the Earl's allies.**  
_

---

Even that day, the first day he'd met that man, he'd always thought the same thing. He'd thought it when he hadn't even spoken to him - when he'd just seen him across the room. His eyes, his smile, his posture - they all had told it without words. The thing he'd thought so effortlessly - the one word that had described that man since he'd first set eyes on him ... **Lonely**.

Allen sighed, eyes locked on the passing street lamps. They'd reached Paris earlier that day, and had secured themselves a hotel, as well as checked in with Komui; as of now they were heading down town, towards the police station. It was funny, he and Kanda had been around one another for nearly three days and hadn't fought ... actually, they hadn't said a word to one another. ... Had he even spoken to anyone? He didn't think he had, he'd been thinking ... yes, he was sure of that. Sure that was all he'd been doing - thinking ... remembering. His brows pressed together, lips pressing into a thin line; since that day in the snow when that man had saved him ... that's when everything had started. That's when he'd started growing more and more attached to Lavi. Since that day in the snow, surrounded by humans and Akuma alike - he had been unable to relax without that man around. Maybe that's why he felt so cold ... but then maybe it was the snow.

He loved and hated snow so much, now.

Mana had found him in the snow, yet he'd lost Mana in that same snow. Then he'd found Lavi in snow ... and now it plagued him. Lavi loved snow more than he - and now the sight sickened him. It made him think of that man ... and it pained him.

"Walker."

Allen looked up, snapped from his thoughts by Link's voice. Oh, they'd arrived. "Coming." He climbed down, and out of the carriage they'd been riding in; slowly he started walking after Kanda, feeling the presence of Marie and Link filing in behind him. He felt a chill rush through him - he hated that. He hated it when people walked so close behind him, it made him feel uncomfortable. Lavi hated it too - that's why they always refrained from such things; they always walked side by side if it were possible. Allen shuddered once more, eyes glued on the ground. ... Would he ever get to walk side by side with that man again? His fingers flexed, left hand pulling into a fist; his hand felt so empty - so cold despite the glove covering it. He missed those fingers that were usually locked with his own - they were the only ones who could touch that cursed arm. The only ones that he needed to touch that arm ... would those hands ever touch him again?

_"What would you say if I told Bookman about us?"_

_"... I'd have you, wouldn't I? I'd be happy with that ..."_

_"Could you sound more damn disappointed that I care about you that fucking much?!"_

Allen winced, pushing forward a bit faster. Lavi had asked him something so strange, so unfair, and yet ... why had it lightened his heart slightly when he'd heard it? True, it had made him feel guilty - he couldn't stand to take anything from Lavi ... but the thought of not having to keep that secret. Not having to hide in the shadows ... of being able to enjoy each others company without worrying about someone seeing; it was intoxicating. Maybe that's what had been driving that rusty headed idiot to ask such a thing - to go against his own desires. ... Was he really that important? Allen felt his heart jerk - telling him the answer abruptly. Of course he was, Lavi made a note to show him everyday; he meant as much to that man as the title of Bookman. ... No, had he actually meant more than that title? It was ridiculous - there was no way that could be ... but why had that man asked him such a thing?

"We heard some of our own were being detained here ... May we speak with them?"

Allen jerked his head up, placing a small, heartless, smile upon his lips. Marie's words had pulled him from his thoughts just in time to see the French Inspector's harsh words to Kanda. Despite the satisfaction of Kanda being disliked, being fought with, he didn't feel like being polite right now. He didn't feel like smiling right now ... His attention turned to Timcampy, taking the slightly larger golem in. Was he in such a sorry state that Tim had to try and cheer him up? ... How pitiful.

"The Black Order?! What are you doing here?" Inspector Galmar stuttered, shocked at the men in front of him.

Allen looked back up, forcing his smile once more. Slowly he started following the man, and Kanda, after a brief exchange of words. He wanted this mission to get into full swing already, at least his mind would be taken off of things. At least he could stop thinking over this guilt ... he could stop seeing that man's face in his mind. He gritted his teeth, wincing at the sharp look that had been in Lavi's eye. ... How could he have said such a thing? He hadn't meant it ... so why ...

"I'm sorry, but I can't release them yet." Galmar sighed, waiting on a man in uniform to unlock one of the large cast iron cells. "They're suspects in a case I'm trying to solve."

He looked back up, attention broken once more; he'd figured as much. Allen started after the older Inspector, eyes searching about at all of the awkwardly dressed men locked behind bars. This was strange ...

"They should be in here somewhere, you'll just have to find them."

He glanced over, noticing that even Kanda was slightly unnerved. This was so strange, why were there so many people in here with the same look!? "What's going on?!" Allen studied the men, unsure if he should pity them or ponder their sanity.

Kanda glowered, arms crossing, "What is this, Halloween?"

Marie sighed, turning to Galmar with his unseeing eyes. "Who are they, Inspector?"

Galmar remained silent a moment, as if he were ashamed, before finally admitting, "They're all the Mysterious Thief G ..."

"The Myserious Theif G? The one everyone in Paris is talking about?" Marie probed, confused.

"You've caught him, and it's more than one person?" Allen looked to Galmar, questioning the man.

"No!" A chorus answered him instead of the inspector.

Allen sighed, still not understanding the situation fully as he looked about a bit more. Despite the constant buzzing of pleas from the men in the cells ... his mind was wandering off, pulling up memories he didn't wish to remember again. His eyes locked on the ground, ignoring the beat of Timcampy's fluttering wings against his shoulder. He wanted to forget for just a while, ignore this ache in his chest ... this empty place. He hadn't felt this way since he'd lost Mana ... and since he'd torn that wound apart roughly when he'd turned his Father into an Akuma. ... He needed to focus on this mission, and he knew it ... but ...

_And then the boy, drifted off to sleep breathing heavy.  
The flames within the ash, one by one, welling up that beloved face.  
Thousands of dreams upon this Earth;_

_As your silver eyes tremble on that night, a shining 'you' is born._

_Hundreds of millions of months and years;  
No matter how many prayers are returned to the Earth, I shall continue to pray.  
Please, give this child love, joined hands, and a kiss._

Mana. What was he trying to tell him? He'd been hearing this melody more often since that day they'd left the Order ... Why? He'd still been unable to unlock that message, unable to comprehend what his Father was trying to tell him. What was so important that Mana would press on even after his death, and why now of all times? Allen shuttered, a saddened emerald filling his mind once again; his left hand clenched, balling into a fist. ... He couldn't stand this. He wanted this mission to be over, wanted to return to the Order ... he needed to tell that man something ...

_**Hey, Lavi ...**_

_**If I could take back my words, would it make you smile?**_

_**... Because I find myself wanting to do so, even if it wouldn't ...  
**_

---

_Lavi mentally chuckled, happy with the squabble he'd started with Bookman. It just wasn't a normal day until he'd gotten into it with that old geezer. His eyes traveled over, taking in the boy that had been pushed from the room with him on his right. So, this was Allen Walker huh? They'd mutually agreed to step outside; Allen had just wanted some fresh air ... but he, Lavi, had desperately wanted to play in the snow. He didn't see snow much, and the precipitation had always played a key part in his life. ... Maybe that was why he loved it so much. He looked down, compacting a bit more snow into the large ball he'd formed. "How old are you?"_

_"About Fifteen."_

_"Ah, so I'm your Onii-san. I'm Eighteen." The redhead smiled, packing a bit more snow into the Snowman's soon-to-be body. Fifteen? To be honest, that had surprised him. "Fifteen, huh? Maybe it's because of your white hair that you look much older. You can call me Lavi, some call me Junior though." He hated being called Junior ... maybe he'd get lucky and this guy would call him by his preferred name. Lavi paused, thinking over something a moment; finally a smirk pulled itself over his lips, "Is it okay if I call you Moyashi?"_

_Allen froze, eyes snapping about sharply. "What?!"_

_"But Yuu calls you that."_

_"Yuu?" Allen stared, perplexed._

_Of course he wouldn't know that long haired idiot's first name. "You don't know eh? That's Kanda's first name; that guy's called Kanda Yuu."_

_That idiot samurai had a first name? Allen stared, nearly dropping the snow in his hands from shock. "I see, I didn't know that because everyone called him Kanda ..."_

_Lavi laughed, patting a new ball of snow lovingly. "Next time, call him by that name. His eyes will definitely go wide." He paused thinking once more, "Well ... it may be awhile before you get to see him though."_

_"Eh? What do you mean?"_

_"Eh ... It's just my premonition." Jeez this kid ... was he really that damn naive? Lavi stared placing pebbles upon his newest creation, "Our next mission is long and might turn into a big war. The Earl has made his move - that's probably why Noah's family appeared as well." He sighed, finishing up the decoration with a small nose. Lavi turned, eyes nonchalant, "If we don't start focusing ..." He stopped, brows knitting instantly at his companions features. That was strange ... he'd seen this kind of expression before; why was such an expression bothering him now?_

_"I became an Exorcist in order to destroy Akuma ..." Allen spoke softly, harshness building within his voice. His right hand was gripping his left, eyes hard. "I didn't become one to kill humans."_

_Lavi stared, unable to speak a moment. ... That was unnatural; humans didn't usually say things like this at all. No, that wasn't the unnatural part. Humans always went on about peace, but they never meant it; but this boy ... his eyes were so filled with resolve it was stifling. Why did that kid look to be in such pain? ... Did he actually mean what he was saying? "Oi, what's wrong? ... Moyashi ...?"_

_"It's Allen!" Allen glowered, already a good two feet away. "I'm going for a little walk, so go back ahead of me!"_

_"Oh man ..." Lavi watched, hand scratching his head; this was strange. This kid ... He stared silently a moment, a strange expression playing his features."... He is a brat after all."_

---

The first night he'd met that man it had been snowing; that had been his beginning. Not the night he was conceived, and not the night he was born; it was the night he forgot that melody ... the night he'd been left alone. That was the night he began his life with Bookman; he could never forget that night, just like nothing could take away the memory of he and Allen's first meeting. ... It was ironic - it had snowed that day as well.

Why did it always snow when his life began? Lavi stared, eyes cold as they watched the rain outside of his window silently. He'd been reading over Bookman's new reports, apparently the other war was starting to kick itself into full ... he had mixed feelings about this. The redhead took a breath, pulling his tired eyes back to the words written upon the paper in front of him. Bookman was going to be back and forth from now on, which meant he'd have more work than ever. The work load he didn't mind much, it kept his mind from wandering - kept him from thinking of things he didn't have the time or the heart to think of. He had to do something - anything - or he would think of those things, those words ... that face. Damn it, he'd already let it happen; Lavi stood in a rush, nearly topping over his chair. That pissed him off; was he so weak he couldn't even ignore something like that? Fuck ...

**_Do your damn job you worthless idiot!_**

Lavi growled, however didn't protest the harsh suggestion. That man had been colder than normal, but then so had he. Just yesterday he'd made Linali cry ... again; it was just like on that damn ship. He'd taken all of his frustration out on everyone and everything around him ... that's what he did when that load grew too heavy, when he could barely stand on his own. He let it build up, and he had the worst luck of snapping when he was around others. That wasn't how he was supposed to be - he wasn't supposed to snap. He wasn't supposed to care about anything - that's why he shouldn't snap, why it was against the rules to snap. He wasn't supposed to have anything to snap over ... that pissed him off too. That and the silent satisfaction he'd felt every time he'd made someone cry - made someone else suffer to ease his own frustration. The thought was always the same - Good, someone else felt like ripping their head off and throwing it to the vultures; someone else was suffering - he wasn't alone. ... Had he always been this cruel? He shuddered, knees locking to quell the shake that had crept up his bones. He'd let it happen again, let his mind wander off ... He couldn't handle this.

_"Did you actually think I'd be okay with you giving something like that up for me?!"_

_"How can you ask me to bear that guilt?!"_

_"If us being together means you have to give that up I'd rather we weren't!"_

Lavi winced, the words hurting his ears; he couldn't stand hearing this again. He'd heard it already so much he was numb - the wound so torn the new blows weren't registering. How many more times did he have to relive that? How much longer did he have to see himself so weak in front of Allen until that man would be satisfied? His eyes froze, locked on the partially dismembered covers atop his bed. His heart jerked, breath catching at the images rushing through his mind harshly. He didn't want to see that now - he couldn't stand to hear what he was hearing.

_**Bastard, are you so damn surprised?**_

_**They always let us down, Lavi!  
**_

Lavi grimaced, the scream nearly shattering his eardrums. No, not Allen. Allen wasn't like them.

**_What the fuck do you call this then, Lavi?!_**

Lavi whined, shrinking back against the wall at that face. He could bear that - couldn't stand seeing that boy's face as it had been when that man had slipped out. How could he have let that cold Bookman out in front of Allen, let him call that boy by his last name? Lavi took in a jagged breath; he couldn't stand seeing that - seeing that boy nearly running away. The redhead forced his limbs to move, rushing for the door; he had to get out of this room, get away from all of those images pounding him against the wall. He had to get away from that smell, that voice - those eyes probing him. His hand reached out, freezing before it could grasp the door knob. ... No, not this; anything but this. He could manage seeing anything but this memory - anything but Allen curled in a ball in front of his door crying. Lavi pulled back, eyebrows pulled so tightly together his head was starting to hurt; he hated this ... why did things he lost always haunt him? He couldn't get past this - this was the one thing he couldn't stand being haunted by. That melody he could stand, his own sins and insecurities he could stand, hell he could even stand reliving his weaknesses ... but dear God, not this. Lavi turned, nearly tripping as he rushed for the bathroom.

**_How ironic, you're running again!_**

Lavi thrust the door open, ignoring the squeaky hinges as he slammed it behind him. Yes, he was running again; that's what he did after all. He ran, as hard and as fast as he could when he got in too deep. He left before he was abandoned, he hurt before he had a chance to get hurt; he wasn't used to this. He always hurt others, it couldn't be helped - it was a sacrifice that had to be made. It was the only way to save himself - his selfish, cruel, self. Since he was a child he'd slowly grown numb to pushing away, to running - to the looks he'd seen as he went. He'd grown numb to hurting humans ... but not this. It had been so long since he'd had this aching that pushed him down - this weight that felt as if he were going to drown. He'd almost forgotten how this felt - how it was to be left alone. Lavi stumbled, falling against the sink; he remained still, holding his weight up upon the pearly counter top. He could live with that voice yelling at him - that was fine, he deserved it.

**_You should have learned by now!_**

After what he'd done to Allen? He deserved so much more than this yelling and this welling guilt; this whole thing was his fault after all. How could he have been so selfish? That was something else that was driving him mad - that new ache in his gut. It was something he'd only felt once before - the feeling that had started the whole spiral of running. Attachment, and pure and undiluted love; in the end he'd been left alone, cold, and in the rain. It was a feeling that hurt worse than being left behind - it was caring that you had been left behind. That's how they got you after all - if you cared about them they could rip you apart. His eyes shot up, locking on the mirror in front of him; he shuddered nearly pulling back from the harsh emerald glaring him down. It had been so long since he'd seen that twisted man reprimanding him - since he'd been pegged with those bluntly honest words that pained him. Lavi caught something then, dragging his gaze willingly away from the eye staring back to the opposite side of the mirror. No ... not here too. He wilted at the memory playing through his mind. ... He couldn't stand this, he was going to finally go insane.

**_Hey, Lavi ..._**

Lavi jerked his functioning eye back, the tone in that voice scaring him. He'd never heard that tone in that man's shrill voice before - never heard such a pained plea come from anyone but himself. His stared, gawking at the man staring back at him. The glare had slipped away, and instead sadness had taken it's place. ... He didn't understand this; that man never cared about anything. Even in Road's dream he'd been so cruel ... so emotionless ...

**_... I wonder if that boy is smiling ..._**

Lavi stared, body going numb at the tears gathering in the emerald staring at him; his final resolve had faltered and had started crumbling to the floor. He hadn't seen this coming ... so that's what this all had been? Lavi sank down, knees buckling and tucking beneath his bottom on the floor. That man had been trying to get rid of that load, trying to get past everything too ... huh? Lavi shuttered, hand lifting to his lips in an attempt to stop their trembling. ... That cold Bookman had needed Allen after all; in the end they both had a request ... His hand shifted, fist clenching as it pressed against his eyes. He ignored the small droplets slipping past their cover, and splattering against his exposed palm. Neither of them could stand this ...

**Allen ... I want ... to see you again ...**

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Panda**- A pet name for Bookman, used by only Lavi.

**Onii-san** - older brother.

**Moyashi** - beansprout.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.


	14. Devotion

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and an amazing New Year! Sorry for the short hiatus, I've been busy with Holidays, and studying for my exams on Tuesday and Wednesday; not to mention the D. Gray-Man hiatus that has been going on for what, two weeks now? Also, I am **so** sorry for the lack of Review Responses in the last chapter. To be honest? It didn't hit me at all that it was Chapter Thirteen, aka the chapter I promised responses, until two days after I'd posted the chapter. So here they are, even if they are a bit late. Enjoy!

**John M. Nox**, _Chapter Eight Review Comments_: Your review really made me happy. To know that someone enjoys my fic that much, along with the fact that I made it MORE than a simply sex-crazed one-shot (though we all can enjoy those from time to time) struck a very large chord with me. Thank you, sincerely, and from the depths of my heart for your review. I hope I haven't let you down as far as the new chapters I've posted since then, and that I won't let you down in the up coming chapters. I promise this will be around for a while, not stretched to the point where it's uninteresting, but it most certainly won't be a simply few chapters till you get to a happy ending. Life, in fiction and in reality is hard, so every time I write something I feel I have to keep those aspects in there. Why? It's just my blunt honestly coming out to snap and say 'Face it, there are going to be tough times and you may - in fact - **not** get through them. You just have to wait, hope, live, and see.' As far as D. Gray-Man goes, and Lavi and Allen's relationship, I truly think that they would have a tough time. Considering the fact that they are two males, their time period, the trials in their separate and mixed lives, and their clashing personalities; but their relationship and the way the interact, and think, makes one want to hope for the very best for the two. Laven is one of those pairs that you just _**need**_ to see happily together despite everything. Will that happen? Well, we'll all see.

**InfinityOnTheRun**, _Chapter Nine Review Comments_: To be honest that particular line - "... What was that like, doing something without thinking it through and analyzing it countless times?" - is probably one of my favorites from this fiction. Angsty Lavi is something people often over look, which is a sad case. People generally only see a goofy, playful, and for some reason sex-crazed (yeah I don't get that one at ALL) male when they look at Lavi. True, Lavi has his points where he will play around but he's more sarcastic than goofy. Though he is playful, sometimes his comments are only amusing to him (face it we all know Lavi has the potential to be a bigger ass than Yuu xD). He tends to brush stuff off thought with a smile, a shrug, and worry over things silently; and that last is where you see 'Lavi' and 'Bookman Junior' collide and start blurring, even if it is only slightly. At least that's what I think anyway. And dear god yes, I enjoyed writing Allen's outburst WAY more than you know. xDD

**Ghost of the Crescent Moon**, _Chapter Nine Review Comments_: Thank you very much for the compliments on my writing and my characterization. I try very hard (seeing as how writing is something I'm minoring in) and it really helps to know that I succeed. I always look forward to reading your reviews, so thank you very much.

**babo123**, _Chapter Eleven Review Comments_: Naturally, as I've said in one of the reviews up there, sometimes we all (yeah even my guilty self) need that chapter of cute, all out, sex. 83

**ClaymoreDarkAlicia**, _Chapter Twelve Review Comments_: You're another I always enjoy reading the reviews of, haha. They always make me smile, and laugh. First off, I'm glad you were itching for someone to update and that I could help ease that annoyance. I know how it is to want an update so badly, but no one seems to be offering them at all; so I'm happy to help when people get in those situations. They're rather annoying situations in my opinion. Also, I'm actually very glad I gave you those moments where you forgot to breathe (as long as you remembered how, and did in fact breathe very soon after stopping that is), it means I got what I was going for. Shock, awe, and a new twist that _**no one**_ saw coming. Yes indeed, it's Level Four Time. I've caught up with chapter 172 now so expect some blood, gore, and the lovely battle with the Level 4. I promise I won't bore you all with things you've already read in the Manga, and do know too much. You'll get to see what our favorite rusty-headed Bookman is up too as well, and get a look at dear Allen's thought processes. Thank you so much for your loyal reviews, they mean so much, and I look forward to reading many more!

**ClaymoreDarkAlicia**, _Chapter Thirteen Review Comments_: I'm sorry if I made you go - D8 WHAT?! - when you saw the length. For some reason I felt that chapter just needed to end where it did; yes I am a strange girl. I get a gut feeling that tells me to stop writing on a chapter and (like on everything else in my life) I listen to it religiously. Thankfully, that hasn't ever steered me wrong. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter so much, because to be honest it's probably my favorite so far as well. I actually never thought about the implications of Allen's life with snow - because he did in fact gain and lose Mana in the snow, just like he gained Lavi in the snow. I had already decided that Lavi would like snow when I started this, and had ideas about why he would like snow, and why he would hate rain. (Yes, you'll all get to see these reasons in depth as this goes on.) So when I stopped and thought about Allen's past with snow, and the fact Christmas was about two days away (at least in reality and NOT in D. Gray-Man.) I'd use this chapter to give you all a bit of a Christmas flair and show off a bit of Lavi and Allen's past. Plus, now that I think about it, the snow does kind of foreshadow the last part of 'Bookman Junior' losing that harshness towards Allen and realizing that he does need him. Like 'washing away' eh? I promise I'll be updating as soon as I can!

That's it for the responses all, at least until Chapter Twenty or so. (Yeah I may forget again, hahaha.)

**I'm going to rate this accordingly and, as such, it shall be rated M. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Fourteen_** - **_**Devotion**_

_Hey, Allen ...  
Come to think of it, I've never asked you this before, but ... Do you like Tim?  
I asked you to keep hold of him for me, but ...  
... To be honest, I was always planning on giving him to you._

_**I've told Tim he can do as he likes from now on.**  
_

Allen shuddered, eyes locked on the dark sky above him and the delicately falling snow. He listened, attention fixed on the words spilling from Timcampy's memory. The gruff voice was still hard to listen to, even if he had slowly gotten used to it. That was another weight on his chest, holding him in place as he sat beside Howard Link. Cross Marian was gone, and still not even a trace had been found; and Lavi? The Bookman was miles away, and was probably best considered long gone as well.

**_You may not want to listen to me, knowing that I'm carrying on the Fourteenth's will ...  
But in case you're thinking you're being made to walk a path that me and the Fourteenth chose for you ...  
I just wanted to tell you - you're wrong._**

**_A path is something you create as you walk it.  
The ground you've trodden hardens, and that's what forms your path._**

Allen's eyes fell downward, ignoring the movement on his shoulder by Timcampy. The golden golem was fidgety, probably cold. As corny as his Master's words sounded, they struck something in him. ... More than one thing actually. A path was something a person created as they went, not something laid out by others for them. As such, you weren't able to blame others for things that disheartened you along your path - you brought them upon yourself.

If you did not want to walk a certain path, then you simply did not walk it.

**_You're the only one who can create your own path.  
So stop wearing that Mask of 'Mana'._**

**_Walk on your own.  
If you haven't given up yet, that is._**

He felt his heart jerk, eyes changing to hold a mix of emotions. So many things were muddled, and yet just as many were beginning to make sense.

_**Why do you use polite speech all the time anyway?**  
_

His eyebrows pressed together, hand flying upwards to hide his eyes. Seeing that clown hurt still.

_Come to think of it, you're covered in bruises as well, aren't you!_

**_You do that sometimes, hadn't you noticed?_**

_Didn't you like it then?_

_Eh, I'm afraid I've never been keen on Clowns._

_**Say Allen ... Recently, you've stopped using polite speech with us, haven't you!**_

Allen shuddered once more, the two separate memories pulling him deeper into confusion. He could stand seeing Johnny and Linali speaking to him, it was the visions of he and Mana that stung. The vision of that clown laying out a path in front of him, and all he could do was run behind him trying so hard to catch up. The Fourteenth and Mana were not the same. Mana, his Father, had died when he was young. The Fourteenth was an unknown entity that had been thrown into his life - so unknown he even had began to doubt Mana. Allen growled, reaching for Timcampy before harshly yanking at his cheeks. He was frustrated. "No matter how many times I listen, it sounds like a last request or something ... it pisses me off."

"Surely that's what it is, though?" Link added nonchalantly, turning a page in his book.

"But stuff like this just isn't like Shishou at all ..." Allen growled, tossing Timcampy away. He was pissed, far beyond pissed to be quite accurate. At Cross, at Mana, at this Fourteenth, at Lavi, ... at himself. Everything was becoming stranger, some of it more confusing and some of it simpler. A path was something the person walking created as they went, not something laid in front of them that they were expected to walk. You made your own mistakes, and you could only blame yourself for walking paths that you didn't wish to walk. If you don't wish to walk a path - stop walking it. Allen stood in a rush, eyes set in front of him; he was sure this was the first time he'd felt normal since the departure from the Order. He knew what he had to do, what he wanted to do, and what he would do; his Master's words had cleared his mind, made both things concerning Mana and Lavi clearer. He had to apologize to Lavi, and to forgive himself; Lavi had been trying to rid them of a path they didn't wish to walk ... and that was no reason for him to snap at that man. He, Allen, had been scared of stepping off of that path he'd been walking - scared of the unknown like when they'd first met on that snowy day surrounded by Humans and Akuma alike. He's been scared of changing his path, of fighting for more than Mana. Instead of just fighting for Mana ... he wanted to fight for his companions in the Order, for Lavi ... and most importantly he wanted to fight for himself. He was allowed that, right?

"... Yeah." He'd answered himself out loud, "My path isn't set for me!" Allen looked forward, determination flaring in his silver eyes for the first time in days. "I'll create it ... myself."

**_You were trying to do something for yourself too ... weren't you Lavi?_**

**_... No, not just for yourself._**

**_You were trying to do something for me too.  
_**

Link looked up, confused a moment. The 'Mask of Mana'? What in the hell did that mean? Allen Walked had been acting awkward lately, and this was even more awkward - even if it would be considered normal behavior.

"So, Link ... You mind if I take the last doughnut?"

"... Just how many have you eaten?!" Link snapped.

"You hearing me, Moyashi?"

Allen glowered, partially wanting to ignore Kanda's voice coming through his communicator. "The name'th Allen!" He spat through a full mouth.

"Quit stuffing yourself, it's almost time." Kanda ignored the retort, before adding through his own golem. "You better not let the Police snatch the prey from under our noses."

"It's not 'the prey', it's the Phantom Thief G, Kanda ..." Allen sighed, hand lifting to tug on his raised hood. "But roger that!" Despite himself, he was excited; he'd never seen a Phantom Thief in the flesh before.

---

_"Morning!" Lavi grumbled, still half asleep as he stumbled forward into the large shared bathhouse. It was rare for him to join the others in the shared bathroom ... but this morning it couldn't be helped. His water was broken. The redhead reached over, snatching the toothpaste away from Bookman with a snide grin. He then settled down beside the older man, head turning towards Allen. He growled, just spotting Link between he and the white head. Damn he hated that Inspector. His eyes transferred, taking in the younger exorcist beside the blond. Allen looked exhausted ... "Hey, Allen, you've got huge bags under your eyes ... Two-Spot here hasn't been interrogating you again, has he?"_

_Link nearly choked on the foam in his own mouth, "Two-Sp - That's very rude!"_

_Allen sighed, pulling his toothbrush over his teeth a few more times. "Oh, you're not going to have any effect like that." He spit, reaching for a cup of water before gargling and once again spewing the liquid from his mouth. "Link, Lavi's like a child, so he loves giving people nicknames. You have to be a lot more forceful if you want to get him to stop."_

_Lavi stared, left eyebrow raised. Had Allen actually called him childish? "Say, Allen, have you forgotten that I'm actually older than you ... ?" He pointed accusingly before returning to brushing his teeth. Honestly, he'd just been asking how the boy was doing. Well, that and if that idiot Inspector had been harassing him ... yeah, mostly that. "I thought it'd be dragging you down, but you seem pretty cool about the whole thing ..."_

_"Well you know ..." Allen paused, rinsing his face thoroughly before reaching for a towel. He turned his attention back towards Lavi with a smile, "When there's something you can't understand no matter how much you think about it, you can't let yourself just brood over it forever!"_

---

"You haven't pounded me with questions lately, kid." Bookman pulled his eyes from the stack of scrolls in front of him to lock on his apprentice across the room.

"I figured it would be best if I answered my own questions ... I can't always rely on you for answers, Jijii."

The older man stared on in shock, taking the time to slowly comprehend the words that had filled his ears. Seconds ticked by, leaving the two Historians in silence before the elder finally took in a breath. "Could it be you've stopped running, Lavi?"

Lavi lifted his eyes, their tones nonchalant as they stared down his Guardian. He thought over the words momentarily, weighing them against all of his logic; finally his head had evened, and he'd once again managed to continue on in silence with that large burden upon his shoulders. The rusty headed eighteen-year-old chuckled; despite those facts, that old man was still giving him a bit too much credit. "Nah ... I've just learned to pull things behind me as I go."

Bookman chuckled, apparently pleased enough with the answer. "Ah, maybe that's the best thing."

Maybe so, he'd love to believe that wholeheartedly but ... somewhere in the back of his mind something was telling him otherwise. He kept hearing the same words - Allen Walker - and he was trying to ignore the blunt truth being tossed at him from all sides. He wanted to stop running, but he was scared too. ... What if that happened again? He wanted to plant his feet firmly on the ground, to be able to lay his head down without having to worry how much longer he'd have the comfort of a bed. Lavi looked down, taking in the few notes he'd scribbled on his own parchment. He wanted to stop running for that one person, even though he was terrified of doing so ... but at the same time? He wanted to keep going, to run faster than he'd ever run before and drag his books, scrolls, and even the old man along with him. He didn't want to give this up; not his knowledge, not his work, not his cunning. None of it ... and so he found himself once more at that crossroads, walking two paths at once.

Only this time the road was rockier, steeper, and the seams holding him together were slowly starting to begin their unraveling. He could feel it, that Bookman could feel it ... and for some reason it was thrilling.

Lavi sighed, grabbing two books before tossing them carefully over his shoulder. He listened, waiting for the soft thump as they landed upon his bed. After hearing it he returned back to his work, pen dipping into his inkwell before starting the long trail of words across paper. It had been only one night since that night he'd gone insane, since he'd seen that man crumble in front of him in the mirror. Maybe that's why he was still unable to be in this room alone, maybe that's why he requested Bookman come into his room to work instead of the Library. If he was alone in this room he started hearing things, started seeing things ... and he still didn't have the heart to face them. He'd even taken to sleeping in the large room of books down the hall, curled up on the couch in the Library's center with a blanket. The books eased the ache in his chest, maybe that was why he'd done nothing but throw himself into work. When he was working he couldn't think of anything but what was in front of him, and things he'd experienced outside of this room. He'd regained himself, regained the grip on that burden, ... but it was the fact he may no longer have part of that burden that worried him. That's why he pulled himself into his work.

That's all that could help him forget, even if it didn't last. Lavi froze, head turning quizzically towards the rising Bookman. "Eh? Leaving Jijii?"

"What does it look like you idiot? I can't stay in here all day, I get nothing done in this mess of a room of yours." Bookman snapped, hands wrapping about the few scrolls he'd brought into the room before turning towards the door.

Lavi grumbled, watching as the elder man exited in silence. Damn it, now he wasn't going to get anything done ... His eyes rushed, trying hard not to take in anything as they searched for his inkwell. He'd almost gotten away with it, but a creak had caused him to freeze, eyes landing upon his bed. He shuddered, ignoring the voice entering his mind; he needed to get out of here. Lavi fumbled to stand, leaving his parchment unfinished and inkwell open in his rush. He passed his bed, snatching his scarf from the bedpost before wrenching open the door. They were starting to get louder, all those memories trying to pin him against the wall once more. He needed to get out of this room, he couldn't stay in this place alone. He'd think, and he didn't need to think. The redhead slammed the door, pausing to catch his breath. He'd been holding it, unable to breathe from the fear of that scent - a scent not his own ... at least not now.

"Lavi?"

Lavi sighed, head wrenching around at the soft voice to his left. Oh, it was Linali ... "Ah ... What's up?"

Linali stood about five feet away, hands folded in front of her; she looked unsure, as if she was worried if she should be speaking to the male or not. Finally she started advancing slowly, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?" Lavi grinned, scratching the back of his head nonchalantly. Good, he'd been worried she was still annoyed with him; he'd snapped at her the other day after all.

"Well ..." She paused, looking to her feet in thought. The younger girl shuffled her feet, eyes slipping back upwards to peer through her eyelashes. "Onii-san said that you had been sleeping in the Library recently ..."

"Been a bit busy, and needed the books is all. No need to worry Linali, I'm fine." Lavi nodded, waving her concern off an unimportant. ... For some reason he hadn't sounded that convincing.

Linali stared, still not convinced however she let it pass. "Um, are you headed towards the cafeteria?"

He hadn't been planning to go to that place ... but now that he thought about it - yeah he was hungry.

The redhead nodded, motioning for her to follow as he started down the hallway. It wasn't that he wanted to have company ... he just didn't want to go into the cafeteria alone. Like his room, that place was swarming with things he didn't have the heart to face - at least not yet. Linali was tolerable enough company anyway, as long as she didn't know what to say that was. Hopefully that was one of those days when she would be more silent than talkative. She asked questions a lot, and worried a bit too much, just like Allen; Linali wasn't exactly the person you wanted to be around if you didn't want to think. She didn't mean any harm by it, but she pried ... and sometimes even actions with the best intentions ended up making things worse. Lavi stared, eyes growing slightly at the thought ... Even actions with the best intentions could end up only making things worse. Why hadn't he thought of that sooner? Damn it, things were simple now - when he applied that logic.

"Apparently things are going well with Allen-kun and everyone in Paris ..." Linali matched her companion's stride, hands folded gingerly in front of her. Her eyes were locked ahead, watching the empty corridor in mock interest.

"Ah ..." Today was one of those days when she wasn't sure of what to say after all ... unfortunately she was speaking of things he didn't want to hear. At least part of him didn't, the other part was relieved that Allen was alright. Lavi quickened his pace, hands falling to rest against his sides. His words, his action, had been with the best of intentions for both he, and Allen ... but they had completely backfired. He'd gotten an undesired effect, and because of that one inconsistency it had opened the door for many more. That's what always happened after all, you make one mistake and whole shit load followed after it. You could never erase your screw ups, but you could try and correct the negative outcomes of them. ... That's what he had to do. He had to face things, had to swallow his damn pride and for once in his life apologize when he needed to. The facts were simple, easy to read, Allen Walker was essential to his survival, as was his work as a Bookman. He needed both, and could not give either of them up; he'd tried giving one up and ended up losing his way. He'd lost sight of something he'd been sure he'd known ... he'd been cocky, but then he was always cocky. He thought he knew everything - even when he knew he didn't.

"Lavi ... are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, but I'm going to have to take a rain check ... I just remembered something I need to do, Linali." Lavi pulled away, turning on his heel to head back in the direction he'd came. He needed to go somewhere, alone. He had to think even if he didn't want to, he had to resolve things and stop running. He wanted to take a chance, and God damn it he was going to; if he regretted it later on he'd simply be the one at fault. How was it that old saying went? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Only he wouldn't be fooled twice, he wasn't that stupid. If he got the sense he was going to lose - he'd run. That's what he was good at, what his intuition was good at seeing ... but if he didn't risk it? He'd never forgive himself.

He needed to talk to Allen, and he needed to apologize.

_**You think that kid is okay?**_

"... I don't know." Lavi spoke softly, tugging his scarf around his neck as he turned towards his right; he had forgotten it had been in his hand until now. For once he wasn't heading towards the Library, or the Cafeteria; he wasn't in the mood for books now, and the Cafeteria was nearly as bad as his room. So many things attacked him in there ... that was Allen's favorite place after all. He pulled at the large scarf a bit more, sighing contently when it was finally looped and securely dancing around his legs. He felt naked without that scarf, it was a simple item to most but to him it was essential. He had to have something between he and the world; in the Order it was a scarf, and as a Bookman it was a decorated cloak. To be honest he didn't care what it was, as long as it was there - something extra to prevent anything from getting close. ... He'd always been like that, even when he was small. Lavi stared at the ground, ignoring the small inconsistencies in the carpeting as he rounded a corner. It was a padding, a line of defense in a sense; it made him feel more at ease, because it felt as if he were farther away. He felt best farther away from people - he was better off that way, and so were they.

**_Think he'll talk to you again, Lavi?_**

**_Think he'll forgive you?  
_**

"I don't know, and probably even though I don't deserve it." Lavi spoke, rounding a corner sharply. Allen was kind - far too kind for his own good ... but that was what he loved about him. He had an almost childlike innocence, one that even blood didn't seem to diminish; that tied with his stubbornness and total loyalty was something even the most dreadful person couldn't help but be affected by. Lavi sighed, brows knitting tighter together; That man's comments weren't helping anything.

**_You want him to, even if you won't admit it._**

**_You really think he will?_**

**_... Hey, Lavi ... Isn't that ... ?_**

Lavi paused, eyes fleeing from the floor to lock on the large window at the end of the corridor; he'd heard it, a tone of near wonder in that man's cold voice. For a moment he felt his heart stop, eyes large as they watched the events through the glass in front of him. "Snow ..." His voice shook, body moving before the thought hit his mind; he was running, full force, down the corridor and wrenching open a large door beside the window. He paused, eyes searching the courtyard surrounded by mirrors. It was a large garden that Komui had built near the back of the building for the members to use for relaxation, but no one came here much. It was too far to walk for most, well not too far - they were just too lazy to do so. Actually ... He hadn't been to this place since ... Lavi pulled forward, closing the door behind him in silence; he stepped out, a chill shooting up his spine at the soft crunch beneath his feet. It rarely snowed here, almost never actually; it always rained though.

He hated the rain.

His green eyes shot up, locking on the small flakes cascading down from the clouded sky. The Bookman took in a ragged breath, nearly shuddering in bliss at the cold nip entering his lungs. It really was snow - he'd forgotten this feeling; the feeling of being surrounded on all sides by something so pure, and white - something so untainted by anything - that it gave you goosebumps. It was a peaceful feeling - a feeling that eased his tormented mind.

... It was a feeling that he only got when he was with Allen.

**_Heh ... Looks like he's already forgiven you ..._**

---

_"Hey, Lavi?" Allen gave the drowsy redhead a nudge, eyes lifting to see if he'd gotten his attention. Seeing the functioning emerald gazing down he smiled, "I know it's touchy but ... can't you tell me anything about your past?"_

_Lavi stared, the small smile that had been playing on his face slowly slipping away; he went silent, suddenly wide awake._

_Allen stared, sighing, before lowering his eyes and rolling over. "I know, I know. Against the rules, right?" He buried his head in his folded arms, eyes thoughtful. Lavi never told him anything about himself - it wasn't fair. He wanted to know things - he should be allowed to know things about the man he was sleeping with, damn it. He'd told the Bookman things countless times, some of it he didn't have to say because it was already known. ... To be honest he'd been thankful for that. He didn't want to talk about some things, and if that was the case with that man he should respect it ... but it was just so annoying. He wanted to know - he was curious, and it was driving him mad. The white head leaned back into the arms that had suddenly taken over his torso, hand fumbling in the dull morning light to find his partner's._

_"My Dad left when I was five."_

_For a moment Allen remained silent, shocked at the soft words that had been whispered into his ear. Everything registered then, crashing into his mind in an instant; he turned, eyes large as they searched for their partnered emerald. Allen froze, a chill rushing down his spine at the look playing on the man's face. Lavi looked sad, beyond uncomfortable at the particular subject; but that wasn't the unnatural thing, Lavi had that smile plastered over his face. That same, lonely, smile that he always had; why did he have a smile when he'd said such a thing? ... That man always did that ... and it was maddening, so much that it caused his chest to ache. Allen reached out, hand cupping his companion's cheek. "Lavi ... you didn't ..."_

_"Neh, it's no big deal." Lavi smiled, shrugging before leaning forwards and pressing his head into the slighter male's shoulder. He took a deep breath, eyes closing as if he were ready for another nap._

_Allen stared, once more silent a moment. No big deal? No one was that uncaring ... were they? No, he knew what he'd seen in that man's eyes ... even if he didn't admit it. The sixteen-year-old reached forward, arms pulling free to coil around the mass of rusty hair. He pressed his lips down, leaving a small peck on the crown of the man's head. It was fine, when Lavi was ready to talk about things - he'd listen; he wasn't going to press the matter, he knew how annoying that was._

---

"Hahaha!" G broke into a fit of laughter, poised on the top of the large building with his treasure tucked safely beneath his arm. "So sorry to disappoint you, gentlemen!"

Tch, if he heard that man's laughter once more he was going to scream; he was annoyed, mostly from the memory that had been piling up in his mind. Allen reached upwards, pulling himself up and over the building's side; the look on Lavi's face back then was aggravating. That idiot redhead acted as if it were nothing, and that pissed him off more than that idiot Thief laughing away heartily a few feet away. It was like Lavi didn't mind if terrible things happened to him ... like he half expected them to; it was annoying! Allen ground his teeth, eyes narrowed on the laughing masked man; now, all he needed was something to vent his frustration on ... and he'd found it.

G gazed down, mocking Kanda and Galmar alike before lifting the crown in his possession and nuzzling it lovingly. "Well then, Farewell! Hahaha!"

Alright, he'd had it with that laughter. Allen growled, slamming the man into the ground forcefully with his foot. He landed lightly, grinning, "So sorry about that, but you're not the only one who can pull an ambush."

"Now, make sure you don't damage the crown! That thing's worth more than we could hope to just reimburse, you know ..." Link spoke, heading towards Allen.

Allen watched the bewildered Thief warily, "How much?"

Link sighed, "Enough to make Cross-Gensui's debts look like nothing."

Well that was decided. Allen punched his left hand, grinning. "I'll protect it with my life."

"Who are you guys ...?" G grumbled, remaining on the ground in a heap. "Police?"

"Not quite ... But since we're trying to capture you, I guess that's close enough." Allen thought over the words; okay so maybe they weren't exactly Police, but it would be a sufficient enough explanation to a common thief. He started to speak once more however froze, eyes large at the masked man on the ground lifted his burdened hand and sent the treasure flying. For a moment Allen simply watched, horror struck before rushing after the flying head dress.

"The crown!" Link snapped, however his words suddenly went silent.

"Ah, that was close." Allen grumbled, barely hanging onto the building as he was pulling the treasure back; He used to work in the circus, but this was ridiculous.

"So what was that? You want to capture G, eh?" Link grinned, hands on his hips before the blond stuck his tongue out dramatically. "You think you can?"

Allen stared, confused at the man's sudden outburst; what in the hell was that guy playing at? "Eek!" The sixteen-year-old rolled, dodging the sharp blow that decimated part of the roof where his head had been. ... Now he was just getting annoyed. Allen jumped to his feet, moving before another blow could strike him, "Link?!" Before he could say more he winced; one of the Inspector's blows had caught his arm and sent him flying back. He was struck once more, sending him flying farther back with more force; Allen glowered, skidding to a stop a few feet away. What was that idiot doing?!

"Allen?! Allen, what's wrong?!"

Allen shied back at the panicked voice of Noise Marie as it rang out via his communicator, "Marie ... Link has ..."

"The Inspector? What about him?"

Allen looked towards the advancing blond, teeth gritting. "From his title, I always thought he'd be more of the intellectual type ..." Allen let his words drift off, brows knitting; he'd thought that about Lavi as well, and like with Link, he'd been sorely mistaken. Lavi was destructive - far beyond the means of acceptable, and from the look of thinks Link was about as bad.

"Huh?" Marie's voice echoed once more.

Damn it! Allen jerked backwards as Link drew a blade, and slammed it into the space he'd been standing upon. Allen skidded to a stop once more, however lost his balance; he fell forwards, hands lashing out to catch himself on the roof. This was getting tiresome, "Come to think of it, I seem to remember he actually saved me once - back when headquarters was invaded ..."

"Could you please explain what you're talking about?" Marie questioned.

"Now what's with this guy?! He's so Hi-Spec!" Link, or rather G, spoke advancing slowly.

Allen watched, waiting whilst trying to catch his breath, "Link seems to have been taken over by G ..." For once, he was started to agree with Lavi's constant remark - 'Stupid, damn annoying, Two-Dots'.

G grinned, hands lifting nonchalantly before he once again spoke from the blond Inspector's body. "Now, then ... Could I have my crown back, Onii-san?"

Allen stared, lifting an eyebrow sharply; he smiled snidely, hand holding out the treasure to the large golden golem on his left. Timcampy stretched his mouth open, ready to take a greedy bite from the sparkling meal. Allen sighed, "If I give it to you, you will just run, won't you? That would be a bit of a problem ..."

"After all **_we_** came here to capture you!" Kanda snapped, already airborne with his blade drawn towards the overtaken Link.

Allen watched, eyes large as the overtaken man spun and chanted an incantation; he remained silent as Kanda froze momentarily - the long-haired man was obviously just as shocked. No way ... that was the same technique they had used to restrain him!

"Tch! Don't tell me that Inspector is a member of Crow!"

Allen looked up, confused as Kanda slid into the space in front of him. "Crow?"

"A special combat unit working for Central." Kanda spat, regaining his footing before standing fully. "I don't know or care too much about them, but ... they're supposedly trained from a very young age, and have incredible combat skills."

So that man was jut as destructive as Lavi after all ... damn it. Allen jerked his head, catching the noise on his left from the police as they gained access to the roof. He listened, silent as the police officer that had been framed tried explaining himself. Something caught his attention then, bringing his eyes back around roughly; G was laughing. Son of a ... Allen rose, glaring the Inspector down. "Is something funny?"

"Well ... It is funny, right? Watching big ol' grown-ups acting like that!" G laughed.

"You're like a child, aren't you ..." Allen hissed, brows knitting sharply. It pissed him off even more - someone laughing at another person's misery, he couldn't stand it. He'd heard a particular laugh in his mind for so long it was maddening - that cheery, almost high-pitched laugh when a soul was turned into an Akuma. The Earl laughed, giddy at the misery both the soul that had been changed and the one who had changed their loved one into that wretched beast.; he wanted to rip that monster's vocal cords out. "Well, I think you're terrible. All those people you've turned into G - you've messed up their whole lives!" Allen spoke slowly, voice radiating his rage; Good, he'd caught that guy's attention, and he hoped that he'd hit a nerve. "You are, the worst."

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Panda**- A pet name for Bookman, used by only Lavi.

**Shishou** - Master.

**Gensui** - General.

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Onii-san** - older brother.

**Moyashi** - beansprout.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.


	15. Emergence

**Contains Possible Spoilers For Those Who Are Just Starting This Series/Only Watch The Anime!  
Contains Shounen-ai (boy/boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. So be warned.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own D. Gray-Man, any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (Even if I wish I did.)**

Look forward to more responses, around Chapter Twenty or so! Until then, thank you for the reads, reviews, favorites, and alerts!

**I'm going to rate this accordingly and, as such, it shall be rated M. And, if Shounen-ai (boy love), possible explicit material (Sex, Blood, Crude Humor, Death), Language, etc. offends you or you dislike it at all - I have a word of advice. Direct yourself to your BACK BUTTON and never return here, because this contains most - if not all - of the above. 83**

* * *

**Bookman's Successor**

_Chapter Fifteen_** - **_**Emergence**_

_" ... What are you doing up?"_

_"I heard you and ---- fighting, and I woke up ..." A small boy whimpered, eyes large with worry; he looked barely four, and was draped in a shirt clearly tailored for a grown man. He stood near the entrance to a large room, lit by a sole candle atop a piano; he pulled at his sleeve, yanking the fabric down easily to wipe at his running nose. His eyes focused past himself, farther into the shadowed room and stared down the person who'd spoken to him. "Why does ---- yell so much?"_

_"Sorry I woke you ..."_

_The boy sniffed, leaning into the arms that had crossed the room and scooped him up. His question had been avoided, however the soothing tone that had been cooed into his ear was enough to divert his attention; he nestled his head against the shoulder, sighing. His eyes felt heavy ... "Why's ---- always so mad ...?" He was shifted onto the person's knee, something that caused him to instinctively grasp at the cloth draped over the owner of the voice.  
_

_"Shh, go back to sleep. Okay?"_

_A melody started to fill the room slowly, it's tune being gracefully slowed, and woven into a soft lullaby. The child tightened his grip on the shirt he was desperately clinging too, eyes closing into revel in the warmth of the other human being. It was a nostalgic melody, played slightly out of tune on the worn piano. It was a tune that the little boy knew well; he'd heard it since the first day he was born. The sound of the few keys that stuck were recorded into his memory, as were the fingers dancing over the keyboard effortlessly inches in front of him. He'd been in this place before, in the warmth of a set of arms cradling him; simply listening to the never changing song that called from the old instrument. _

_... It was calming, and frightening all at once._

**_Hey, what are you doing here, and alone at that?_**

_"Left me ..." The small boy's voice picked up again, the shadowed room slipping into a gray world of pouring rain. He stood alone on a cobblestone path that was covered over in weeds; it looked abandoned and as if it were never used. It wound through tall grass, covering a large field of nothingness. He looked older, six at the most.  
_

_"Tch, an annoying runt like you was left here?"_

_"Yeah ... I'm used to it though." The boy turned, voice low and holding little emotion. He stared into the shadows behind him, as if scrutinizing a face far out of sight. "----- finally left too is all ... Why ---- left me here though, I don't know ..."_

_" ... You don't know a lot, eh?"_

_"More than most ..." The boy shrugged nonchalantly, empty eyes turning back to the pouring rain without a care. He was used to being left alone, used to not knowing much ... even if he did hate it; He'd never admit that though._

_" ... What would you say if I told you, you could know things no one else knows?"_

_The child chuckled, cracking a wry smile before turning his head. "People don't know a lot anyway, right? ... What kind of offer is that geezer?"_

_"Heh, come with me, or stay out here and rot for all I care ... it's up to you."_

_The boy stared, as if waiting for the voice to call for him ... it didn't. He remained silent, thinking over the voice's words. "Hey ... geezer ... wait for me." The child turned, pulling away from the weeded path and heading into the overgrowth after the other that had been speaking with him. _

_... He didn't want to be left alone again, even if he was too prideful to admit it.  
_

---

**_... What are you doing up?  
_**

He hated thinking of those things ... they were unsettling, so much to the point that they sent chills down his spine. They always came in flashes, unclear and confusing ... he never knew what they were half the time; all he knew is that they were there, and he knew the voices and sounds within them. He didn't know the place, the date, the time - anything ... but he knew that tune, and he knew that voice that spoke from the darkness. It was nerve wrecking - being surrounded by unknowns. So much that he felt like he were going to puke. ... Then again, he'd felt like that since yesterday; he'd felt like that since the snow had turned to rain, and that rain had ceased to end. He hated the rain, hated what it stood for, and hated when it continued nonstop. Maybe that's why he'd been wandering, aimlessly, up and down the corridors of the Order all night; maybe that was why he was still wandering now. ... Hell what time was it now, even? Lavi paused, weary eyes tearing away from the vacant space in front of him to search about for a clock. He found none, but that wasn't what was unsettling to him; Why was he here again?

The Bookman-to-be watched, gaze almost reproachful, as he stared down the well known door. He'd come to Bookman's room many times without knowing, and each time he'd been about to pass something had caused him to linger - it was like the old man was trying to pull him in. He gritted his teeth, brows narrowing in frustration - did he really want to go in there? ... Did he really want to ask that old man? No, he didn't want to ask, and that was the problem; he was too prideful to ask, but apparently this was the only way he'd learn anything. Lavi glowered, biting at his lip in frustration; so much for figuring things out himself. ... Tch, like this was something he could figure out anyway - it's impossible to figure out something without any clues to base theories on; impossible to even attempt to piece together broken objects, if the artifacts themselves were unknown. That's why he kept stopping here, kept being drawn to that old man's sanctuary, and he knew it ... he didn't like it one bit though. He hated asking for answers ... it made him feel weak.

The redhead reached out, hand hesitant as it gripped the worn door knob. He really didn't want to do this, so why was he still going? The worn door hinges squeaked, sending a chill down his spine; they were mocking him, weren't they?

"About time you stopped in, I was wondering how many times you were going to linger outside of my door ... as well as your reasons for such disgraceful actions." Bookman coughed, sucking at his tobacco gruffly as he spoke.

Lavi paused, as if waiting to be invited inside the bed chamber; he didn't want to do this ... so, damn it, why was he still going on? He remained silent, functioning eye large as it took in the flickering candle light.

"Tch, and what now? Are you just going to stand there like a dullard, mouth agape?"

"...You knew I was getting left there, didn't you Jijii?" Despite himself his voice was a mere whisper, almost unsure as the words tumbled clumsily from his lips. Lavi looked up, emerald almost urgent as it searched the shadows concealing the old man. This was familiar - searching for a face you'd never seen before; hearing a voice you'd never heard before speaking to you in a way you deserved - letting you know how little your scope of everything was. How unimportant some things were ... He didn't want to be here, doing this, but he'd already asked. There wasn't any turning back now - he had to go on forward, had to press on until he couldn't move forward anymore. "...That's why you came, eh?"

"You're a smart kid, I'm not going to assume you just figured this out ..." Bookman paused, tone unchanging and nonchalant; clearly he hadn't been taken off guard by the words from his apprentice. "... What would you say if I told you that I could share with you things that no one else on this Earth knows?"

Lavi looked up, emerald digging farther into the shadows to lock with the knowledgeable ones perched atop a chair. He nearly laughed, brows pressing a dominant line into his forehead, "People don't a lot anyway ... so what kind of offer is that?"

"Heh, ask me, or stay out there and rot for all I care ... the choice is yours alone."

He hated being here, asking this; hated that feeling creeping up in his gut once more. It reminded him why he ran - why he was so selfish ... why he couldn't see things as Allen did. The world was either black, or blacker; there was no white, and no gray. ... He'd learned that a long time ago; you could only trust yourself, only look out for yourself ... Lavi entered the room slowly, eyes focusing on the ground. "Hey ... Jijii ... fill me in on what I don't know, eh?" He closed the door, swallowing hard before heading towards the short man perched comfortably in his chair. He didn't want to be left alone in the dark again, with nothing but the pouring rain surrounding him ... he wouldn't admit it though, he was too prideful.

He hated being here, asking this; and he hated the rain, hated hearing that tune in his head ... It made him think of those times, and he hated that too.

---

_Allen groaned, doubling over at a sharp spike of pain filling him limbs; where was he, and why was he hurting so damn much? He winced, teeth gritting, as he opened his eye and searched for an answer to his own questions. At first he saw nothing but a bright light, the sun pouring in through a window to his left before finally his vision started clearing. The room was white, boring looking, and he was surrounded by a curtain on his right; there was a constant sound of dripping to his left, something that made his arm ache. The intense smell of antiseptic filled his nose finally, assuring him of where he was; the hospital wing, eh? Fine, he knew where he was, but why in the hell was he here? Another wave of pain shot up, this time through his left arm, and pulled a whine from his clenched teeth; Damn that hurt, why the hell did it burn so much?! Why was he here? He didn't remember anything at ... Wait a minute. Allen opened his eyes, glaring down the ceiling momentarily in thought. He remembered now - Akuma attack. Bookman, Lavi, and he had been returning from a mission and had been attacked. He'd gotten cornered in an alley ... and that was all he remembered; his head hurt - why didn't he remember anything else? Wait ... Allen's eyes jerked open wider, heart skipping a beat._

_Where was Lavi?_

_The white headed male sat up, ignoring the pain searing through his back at the action, before snapping his eyes around the small space. Instantly he froze, a sigh of relief escaping as he fell back into the uncomfortable bed; he'd found the redhead. "Thank goodness ..." Lavi was asleep, propped in a chair to his companion's left; he was covered in bandages, and a sling held his left arm across his chest. Allen glared, that idiot was probably not even supposed to be here - he was probably supposed to be resting._

_"Ah, Allen-kun! You're awake!"_

_Allen jerked his head around, mentally cursing the intruder for speaking so loudly; he lifted a finger to his lips softly, nodding towards Lavi nonchalantly before responding to the female exorcist. "Yes, I'm fine Linali ..."_

_Linali looked to Lavi nodding in response to the white headed boy's request. "Honestly, he hasn't left yet?" Her voice was lower, barely a whisper._

_"Eh?" Allen stared on, confused at the girl's words._

_Linali chuckled, looking to Lavi for a moment. "He's been in here everyday, worried sick - not that he'd say anything. Onii-chan says he went on about how it was his fault ..." Linali shook her head, as if annoyed, "Honestly, Lavi blaming himself like this ..."_

_Lavi always did that. Allen sighed, was he really the only person who'd gotten that yet? "Ah ... He needs to learn better ..." He seemed to put an emphasis on the words, as if half-expecting the redhead to hear him._

_"Are you in any pain?" Linali turned her attention back to Allen, hands folding behind her back.  
_

_To be honest? "A bit, nothing I can't handle though." Allen smiled, eyes wandering back over to the sleeping redhead. Good, he hadn't woken up ..._

_"Oh, I'll go and see if I can get you some more pain medication - okay?" Linali returned the smile before spinning on her heel, and heading for the door._

_"No, Linali that's - !" Allen glowered, glaring the curtain that had fallen between he and the female. She was gone; you couldn't tell Linali anything when she set her mind to it ... Allen pulled his eyes round, something had caught his hand. He glanced down, recognizing the bandaged fingers clinging tightly to his own. So that idiot had woken up after all, honestly; his eyes pulled upwards, locking with the concerned emerald staring him down. Allen remained silent a moment, a chill working it's way through his body. He hated it when that happened, when Lavi had that look on his face; he blamed himself far too much. "Stop thinking what you're thinking, it's annoying, idiot Usagi." Lavi looked tired, as if he hadn't been sleeping properly - that worried him.  
_

_Lavi chuckled, a small smile pulling itself over his lips. "I'll just not let you know I'm thinking it, okay?" He squeezed Allen's hand once more before continuing, "Feeling okay?"_

_Allen glared, "I'm fine, stop worrying about me and worry about yourself. You look ridiculous." Why did he have the feeling Lavi's injuries were worse than his own? ... Oh yes, that's how it always was; and somehow that idiot got to roam about free.  
_

_Lavi laughed, wincing slightly at the action, "I'm fine."_

_"Your ribs are broken again." Allen stared the man down, knowing full well from the reaction he'd just seen. "You need rest, there's no need for you to be sitting here all day and night." That idiot needed to take care of himself.  
_

_"I'm fine, and I'm not leaving till you're able to." Lavi glared, brows pressed together. "I need to make sure you're healing properly, cause I know you. You push yourself."  
_

_"You do the same damn thing!" Allen returned the glare, brows knitting together in annoyance. "Give yourself time to properly heal, and get some damn rest!"_

_Lavi laughed, hand pulling away to hold his side; Allen was adorable when he was agitated. "Fine, you want me to rest?"_

_"Yes!" Allen snapped, cheeks red; damn Lavi, thinking such nonsense. He had every reason to knock him in his ... Allen froze, feeling a body slide in behind him and pull him close. Was that idiot actually doing what he thought he was doing? Allen pulled his neck around, trying to see behind him; yes he was doing exactly what he thought he was doing! What if someone came in?! "La - !" He fell silent, a pair of lips locking the unfinished name within his mouth. Allen glared a moment, before falling prey and returning the kiss softly. Stupid, reckless, bastard Lavi! He felt the male pull away, head resting against his own; he hated that - that look in that idiots eye. Lavi looked so tired, worried, ... he looked so worn thin._

_"You scared me to death, damn Moyashi ..."_

---

"The power of the Musician ... Your cursed left eye ..." The Level Four taunted, voice sing song as he prepared for another assault. "Did you really think we would let you hold those over us forever, Allen Walker?!"

Allen gritted his teeth, the words that Level Four had spoken were annoying him. They were true, and that was what pissed him off. His eye wasn't working, he couldn't open a path to the Order ... all he could do was barely keep himself from being hit with a head on attack. This was getting him nowhere; he couldn't protect those innocents that Link was trying to pull from this place, and he couldn't even get his comrades away from this thing. ... How pathetic. It pissed him off, and he wanted to kill that bastard.

"I'll cover you, go!" Marie snapped, raising his wires instantly.

"We'll smash you!" Allen growled, raising his blade harshly before charging forward. He hadn't noticed that Kanda had screamed with him, hadn't noticed the swordsman on his right; he was far too lost in the heat of battle for that. He had too much on his mind, and all of it were things he didn't want to think about at the moment; no they were things he couldn't afford to think about at the moment. He'd deal with his personal anxieties later, and he didn't have time to worry about the people that were slowly descending the stairway with Link. They would be fine. Allen gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, the Akuma's foot spinning round to send him flying back and into a crumbling wall. It took a moment but he regained his bearings quickly, regained the rage he was far too familiar with. ... It was funny, he'd felt similar to this when he'd knocked Lavi flying in that hotel in Ireland - past rage, past pissed - sheer fury. Something exploded, catching his attention instantly. What the hell was that?! He started to stand, however was forced back down by the Akuma's foot impacting his chest. Allen wrenched his eyes around, glaring daggers at the snide smile playing the machine's lips. ... Damn piece of shit.

"I'm not the only Akuma here ..."

"What!?" Allen hissed, trying to force the disgusting creation away with his blade.

The Level Four chuckled, head titling cynically. "Do you think they're alright?"

Shit! Allen hissed, trying once again to free himself before screaming towards his communicator, "Link!" No answer, and that was what pressed him to call harder. He shoved the Akuma from himself, standing as fast as his shaky legs could muster. "Can you hear me, Link?!" Allen waited for a response, catching another of the Akuma's blows the best he could whilst being shoved back. "Please answer, Link!" Still no damn answer?! What the hell was that guy doing?! Allen wrenched his arm around, swinging his blade instantly towards the Level Four's torso. He missed, however took the time to charge as the thing retreated, "Answer me, Link!"

"Hehehehe!"

Allen froze, the feel of cold metal pressed against his back startling. Damn, he'd been caught off guard. He started to spin, eyes wide as he rushed to parry the attack.

"Can you really afford to be worrying about others?!" The Level Four chuckled mercilessly, and commenced firing.

"Allen!"

**_'Hey, Allen ..._'**

Allen screamed, tumbling back full of holes; he'd heard Marie's voice, but that wasn't something he was focusing on at the moment. He felt himself falling backwards, the virus spreading through his body before the sound of gunshots in the opposite direction filled his ears. Link wasn't answering, leading him to think the worst; and on top of that Marie and Kanda were barely keeping themselves alive. Allen gasped, trying to regain his grip on consciousness; he'd hit his head hard enough to send him for a loop. His body ached, it felt broken; he wanted to get up, and get away from this place. He wanted to kill that disgusting creature attacking his comrades, and rid his nose of it's foul stench. But most of all? He wanted to stop hearing Lavi's words, wanted to rid himself of that vision blurring his mind once and for all. He didn't have time for this right now; he needed to get up and stand on his own two feet. Damn his legs weren't working, weren't responding, ... Damn it all to hell.

**_'You know the reason I do everything I can to protect you?'_**

**_'... It's not because I don't think you're capable, I know you're capable ... it's just ..._'**

"Dying would be much easier, but you're all still acting foolish!" The Level Four coaxed on, eyes narrowed; he was clearly growing tired of his 'game'.

**_'I want you to smile ... and if you're getting hurt you aren't smiling ... and it pisses me off to the point that ...'_**

**_'Heh, I'm getting off track aren't I? ... What I'm trying to say is ...'  
_**

**_'If I lost you, Allen ... Damn, I suck at this sort of stuff ... Just don't die, alright?'_**

Die? As if he'd do that in such a place as this. Idiot Lavi ... He always remembered that stupid Bookman's words at the wost times, and they were always so muddled. ... Yet, Lavi said exactly what he felt ... as muddled, and confusing as his words were, you could always understand them. ... He loved that about that redhead; he always knew what to say - even if he said he didn't. ... He always knew what he needed to do - even if he didn't want to do it. Die here? No such luck ... he wasn't about to die in this place. Allen gasped once more, wails breaking through to him and pulling him out of his daze. "Timothy ..." That's right, that kid was in trouble; he needed to get up and do something. "Timothy, don't cry ... Can you hear my voice?"

"Black clothes Jerk?!" Timothy called through his wails, voice breaking in and out over the wireless unit.

Allen gritted his teeth, thank God he was still alive. "It's okay ... I'll save you ... no matter what, I'll save you." He needed to move!

"Save me ... ? You guys wanted to take me off somewhere strange ... That's not saving me! That's not saving me at all!"

**_"Think about other's feelings once in a while before you do something reckless!"_**

Allen grimaced, brows knitting tightly; now his own words sounded so phony. He'd told Lavi to think of other's feelings, and he hadn't done the same. He, like Marie and Kanda, had decided that Timothy would come with them no matter what. After all what did that kid know about what he wanted to do? What did that brat know about what he should do? That was like those Central idiots telling him what he could and couldn't do - this was the same. ... Damn it all to hell, and he couldn't move.

---

_"Lavi, I can put on my own clothes you know!_

_"Says the boy who buttoned his shirt ass backwards ..." Lavi stared, almost not believing the sight in front of him. Allen was in naught but a white dress shirt, one that was clearly too large for him, and managing for the third time to button the piece of clothing wrong. The redhead shook his head, pulling himself from the covers of his warm bed and stumbled into his pants clumsily. "Hang on, and I'll fix it."_

_Allen glowered, giving up finally with a 'hmph' as he awaited the redhead. "I'm just sleepy is all, that's why I keep messing up."_

_Allen was cute - he always had an excuse for not being about to fix his own clothes. "Yeah, yeah ... you say that every time, and you still suck horribly at it." He smiled, leaning in to nudge the boy's nose; the response he received pulled a laugh from his gut and up through his bones. Allen had shied away, red faced. Lavi busied himself with the unbuttoning the messy buttons, emerald wandering. ... To be honest he really didn't need to be looking this damn early in the morning, it was distracting. He tore his eyes away from the gradually appearing torso in front of him, and went on a search for a set of rather agitated gray orbs. Bingo! He found them staring down, their agitation had even slipped off. "Honestly, what would you do without me? Hm?"_

_Allen sighed, hands slipping upwards slowly to cup the elder male's neck. "Nothing."_

_Lavi remained silent, hands pausing at the soft word. He'd been caught off guard, something Allen was good at ... "Hey, don't make that face, eh?" His left hand slipped up, nudging his partner's chin upwards. Allen looked worried, distressed - he was thinking about something he shouldn't be, something that shouldn't even cross his mind. "I'm right here, right?" Lavi leaned a bit closer, placing a peck on his lover's nose. A smile? Please, that's all he wanted to see._

_Allen smiled softly, nodding, "Ah, you are."_

_"See, now was th - !" Lavi fell silent, lips caught suddenly by his younger companion's. Okay, he wasn't used to this; sure Allen kissed him ... but this was different. He rarely got kissed like this - it was a one in one hundred chance. Damn it to hell, Allen ... The redhead deepened the kiss, hands slipping down to capture his lover's hips roughly. He tugged, as if trying to pull him where they'd come from, and back into the messy bed sheets._

_Allen pulled away, eyes stern. "We just did that last night, idiot Usagi!"_

_Damn, damn, damn! Lavi whined, thinking over an option a moment. Was it worth it? ... Yep, it was completely worth it. He snatched the boy up, arms locking beneath his bottom securely. "Your point?"_

_"Lavi!" Allen glared, clearly not enjoying the fact he was being pulled back into the sack._

_"You really should stop being so damn cute." __Lavi pushed the white headed male down, lips locking with his once more; they were faster, needier this time. Was Allen seriously not aware of this at all? Give him a break ... Lavi broke free a moment, hands sinking lower to taunt his lover's thigh. "I don't have the best self-restraint ..."_

_Allen's face went red, eyes large as he searched for a retort. "Well maybe - !"_

_"... And the more you make that face the more you turn me on. Stop tormenting me." Lavi cut the boy off, not allowing him another word before locking his mouth with his companion's. He couldn't stand this; he wasn't giving up this morning. Allen was driving him crazy, and for once he wasn't going to be scolded and told 'No'. He was impatient this morning ... and Allen wasn't exactly a good liar. He knew what he'd sensed in that kiss - Allen was hungry, and it wasn't a hunger the cafeteria could be of any help for.  
_

---

"Lavi, are you listening?"

" ... Lavi-kun?"

"Ow! Damn it, Jijii!" Lavi hissed, clutching his left shin reproachfully whilst staring down the elderly man.

"Useless buffoon!" Bookman snapped, eyes hardening as if to scold his apprentice more; finally he turned, arms folding casually as he awaited the continuation of Komui's words. "I apologize for his attention span, or in this case, lack of one."

"Ah ..." Komui sighed, used to the redhead's ill-attentiveness. "As I was saying, Miranda Lotto will accompany you, Bookman, to ..."

Komui's words faded, he'd lost interested in them once more; he was annoyed now, even more so than he had been. He'd been standing beside Bookman, listening just fine to the mission briefings, and the next thing he knew he'd been knocked a good one in his lower limb. He had the feeling it was going to bruise ... Honestly, even if he hadn't been paying _total_ attention that was no reason for the old man to kick him! The redhead growled, wanting desperately to peek beneath his clothing - he thought he felt blood. "Just wait till you're in the ground, I'll spit on your grave every day you old geezer ..." Lavi continued on under his breath, ignoring the glare from the man on his right as he returned to his full height; however something caught him off guard, along with all others present within the room. A sharp smack filled the small office, sounding as if a book had been dropped from the top shelf to the floor; Lavi was unable to do anything more than stare - totally dumbfounded - for a few moments. ... Then the pain kicked in. "God damn it, that hurt!" He snapped, temper flaring instantly as he reached up to cup his cheek.

"Don't speak so disrespectfully to your Guardian!" Linali snapped back, tears welling up despite her brave face; Lavi's outburst had caused her nerve to falter. "Where would you be without him, huh?!"

"Shut your damn mouth about things you don't know!" Lavi roared, teeth set in a scowl; that pissed him off. Linali and he had been at each others throats since the morning before, and it was getting tiresome. He hated it when people stuck their noses in his business, and that's exactly what Linali had been doing as of late. She'd been poking around, as if trying to drag something out of him; whether it was about him, or about he and Allen though he wasn't sure. Damn he hated nosy bastards ... what the hell did they know?! What right had she had to slap him?! Where would he be without that old man; He didn't need her to fucking remind him of that, especially when she didn't have a damn clue what in the hell she was talking about!

"And is that my fault I don't know, Lavi?!" Linali retorted, the barrier on her tears had been broken. "You don't tell anyone a damn thing, and then you take out all your frustration on everyone else! Do you really think you're the only one frustrated?! Stop being so damn selfish, and think about the people around you!" Linali added to her outburst with a sharp slam of her fist into her brother's desk, "How are we supposed to know what to say, if you don't say anything?!"

_"Promise me something ... Think about others feeling's once in a while before you do something reckless ... Selfish Usagi."_

_"Damn it, Lavi! Do you really think I'm so weak that I can't handle it?! ... Stop hiding things from me ... I can't stand it!"_

_"You don't want to give up being a Bookman and you know it; it would kill you! It's part of who you are you idiot!"_

Lavi fell silent, eyes large ... he felt cold. Linali's words stung, they were words he didn't want to hear; they were words he'd heard before in a voice begging so hard it had been in tears. Allen had said these words, begged him just like Linali countless times. Tell things, open up, stop trying to carry everything by himself; he'd already learned this lesson hadn't he? ... At least he'd thought he had. Lavi shuddered, eyes falling to the ground to scrutinize it; he'd promised Allen countless times that he'd take others feelings into consideration, and he hadn't. He was still the same - still only thinking of himself. ... Damn how many times would he have to realize this before it sunk in? He felt like slapping himself; he was being selfish, like always.

He was hurting others again ... like always.

"I apologize for his rudeness, Linali-san. He shall be punished." Bookman stepped forward, grabbing the redhead before knocking him sharply across the head. "Apologize, now!"

Lavi allowed himself to be punished, brows furrowing tightly. He found his voice finally, emerald turning to lock on the sniffling girl " ... Sorry Linali ..." He wouldn't admit she was right, not on his life ... but he owed her at least that. The redhead tugged at his scarf, the silent room making him uneasy. "5 this afternoon, at the train station ... I'll see you then Kro-chan ..." He couldn't stay in the room anymore, not with all those eyes staring at him; not will all those eyes pondering his sanity. Lavi turned, nearly running for the door before yanking it open. Instantly he took a deep breath, slipping out and slamming it behind him; he hadn't meant to slam it ... but he'd been unable to stop himself. He needed to shut off the air in that room - it was heavy.

Why was he on edge so much today? He felt uneasy, like something bad was going to happen; it made him worry about Allen, made him stress so that he couldn't sleep ... and he didn't like it one bit.

**_Idiot, Lavi, that's all we know how to do - right? _**

**_... We only know how to hurt others._**

"Lavi-kun!"

Lavi nearly jumped, eyes wrenching around at the frantic voice of Miranda Lotto; she looked like she'd seen a ghost. "What is it Miranda?" Before could receive an answer he jerked forward, grabbing the woman as she tripped and stumbled forward.

Miranda tried to catch her breath, hanging onto the eighteen-year-old's arms as if she were unable to support herself. "Komui-san! Is he in his office?!" Her voice was far past frantic, tears starting to slip from her eyes.

"Ah, he's in a meeting at the - !" Lavi's words were cut off as the woman pulled away, shoving the door open harshly. He'd thought about stopping her, however the though of that heavy air forced him back; made him pull away and slip out of site. He hear Komui's voice as he leaned against the railing surrounding the vast floors of the Order building; if there was one thing that never changed it was the fact of the spiraling staircases in this place. Komui apparently had a thing for them ... His eyes locked on the first floor far below, head spinning already from the monstrous height. He'd never been too fond of heights, which is why he always preferred not to look down when on his hammer ... he didn't care at the moment though. The spinning was comforting - for some reason it felt normal; for some reason it felt like everything else. Spinning, completely out of control and unable to be stopped - like he was spinning off into oblivion. ... Spinning because Allen wasn't there to hold him down.

"They aren't fine! They've been ambushed, cut off, Komui-san!"

Lavi pulled his head round, the words from the frantic Miranda catching his attention. Who was in trouble this time? He ignored the words from Arystar Krory, the baron was trying to calm the woman down; ... This was war, she needed to get a grip. He pulled away from the steel railing, wandering back the way he'd came to peer into the scene inside Komui's office. Krory was holding the weeping Miranda up, whilst trying to comfort her wails. Linali had sank to her knees, eyes larger than normal and she looked pale - so pale one would think she was sick. Komui looked stressed, as if he wasn't understanding the words he'd been told; then he turned to his phone, grabbing it as a call broke through the mock silence. Lavi felt his heart rate increase, and despite himself felt a lump growing in his throat; he didn't know what was going on ... but he didn't like it one bit. He felt uneasy, more so than he'd already been feeling; maybe this was what the day had been amounting to.

"What's going on, Reever?!" Komui's eyebrows tightened, eyes tense behind his spectacles. The room went silent save for the cries escaping Miranda, who was still trying to speak - trying to get a string of words out.

Finally the woman managed to swallow the lump in her throat, eyes snapping back to the Science leader intently, "It's a Level Four, and God knows how many more, we're talking about! If we don't do something, Allen-kun, and the others will die!"

Lavi nearly choked on air, functioning eye going wide as he heard a familiar name intertwined into her plea. Allen? No - what the hell was wrong with Allen? What was going on? He felt his mind starting to spin once more, felt his center dropping out and leaving him with a blank, aching, hole. The redhead spotted Linali's eyes jerk round, locking with his own; she looked scared, terrified, at what she saw. ... What did she see; how bad did he look now? Did he look how he felt? Terrified, pissed off?

Wait, why was he just standing here?

_**Damn idiot, move!**_

"Lavi!" Linali screamed, eyes large as she stumbled to get up and run for the door; she didn't like the look in his eye - she knew what he was thinking, it was written plainly on his face.

He didn't have to be told twice, didn't have to be persuaded; he needed to move, needed to run and get on a damn train as soon as possible. Lavi spun, pulling away from the stifling room and the younger girl rushing towards him before breaking into a run. Allen was hurt, he knew it in his gut, and that was all that mattered; he needed to get to Paris, needed to get his hands around the neck of whoever had the nerve to hurt that boy. He'd slaughter them, murder them with no mercy; he'd rip their organs out and strangle the bastards with them - make their corpses unrecognizable. He felt his legs pick up speed, ears driving out the call of his name from behind him - he didn't care about Linali chasing after him, trying to stop him. He didn't give a damn who tried to stop him - he'd kill them too for trying to hold him up; how dare they try to stop him? Lavi nearly tripped, wrenching around a corner towards the stairwell before knocking open the door; he felt his eyes stinging, teeth locked in a harsh growl. He kept seeing what he'd said last - how he'd acted when Allen left; He hadn't said what he'd wanted to say, what he needed to say, 'Be careful, I love you. You better come back - there's no other option, got it?' ... Fuck, fuck, **_fuck_**!

_If Allen died he'd never forgive himself._

_

* * *

Words to Know_

**Panda**- A pet name for Bookman, used by only Lavi.

**Shishou** - Master.

**Kro-chan** - A pet name for Arystar Krory, used only by Lavi.

**Gensui** - General.

**Jijii** - grandfather, old man.

**Onii-san** - older brother.

**Moyashi** - beansprout.

**Linali**- Another spelling of Lenalee/Rinali/Rinari. It's the one I prefer, and use out of choice, because in my opinion it makes her name look much prettier.

**Yuu **- Kanda's first name which is written both as 'Yu' and 'Yuu'. I prefer the 'Yuu' spelling - it looks cuter in my opinion, and seems like because of that it would annoy Kanda even more if his first name was used.


End file.
